To think being a woman costs more?

[ClairN]

DH and I have been having a debate on discretionary spending. AIBU to think being a woman is more expensive?

Bikini waxes, hairdressers, tights, lingerie, taxis after dark…

I agree in principle, but not necessarily with the examples you've given. Nobody actually needs to be waxed! It's true imo that women's clothes are more expensive for less quality. Women also have to buy sanitary protection.

Much of what makes it more expensive to be a woman is down to things women are pressured into doing by sexist societal expectations rather than actual necessary costs. Yes, we can choose not to engage in the aesthetic things women often spend money on, but if we are being honest it takes a pretty strong and confident woman to reject all of them, especially if she would stand out like a sore thumb in her particular social circle or workplace.

More shit is marketed at women, but it's up to you how much of that shit you actually buy.

100%.
I need
make* *up and skincare.Yanbu.

Only period products and bras. I bought mens frames for my glasses as the women's choice was horrible. Cheap ones but the men's choice was a lot bigger than the womens. As for pink razors just buy the cheapest.

You don’t need

you want
you have been conditioned to think you need

but without nothing actually changes

I think it's swings and roundabouts to be honest. Yes women need bras and sanitary products but men need shaving stuff and more food. Men's suits are very expensive.

The competitive, "I cut my own hair, havr never had a manicure, buy 1 bra every 10 years and have a moon cup i got given as an 18th birthday present from my.mum" comments on here are infuriating. Its like the competitive under eating threads or the fabled 5 meal MN chicken....

Op you are right. Your examples might not be ideal but we do have additional needs. Some are biological (breasts, period products), some are societal (make up, hair care etc), but that doesn't mean they aren't real, and some are something else but I dont know what to call it (things we do to stay safer). And then there's the "pink tax" for identical products targeted at women vs men.

I am sure we would all like to ditch these societal expectations but it is what it is. And to pretend they dont exist makes it that much harder to actually change anything.

Plus there are other aspects. I use skin care. It definitely makes a difference to my skin (notwithstanding the shouts of "it's all a scam"). But whether because of nature or nurture, i use SOME products because I just like them eg I have lots of cheap and cheerful cleansers that work perfectly well. But I also have some that are expensive that I buy because the scent and feel of them pleases me. Dh genuinely doesn't give a rats ass if the shampoo or moisteriser smells nice. Is that learned behaviour or genetic? I have no idea. It is real though.

Actually Amazon's own razors are pretty good and not expensive.

I stuck with M&S for bras and basic knickers. Can't be done with little bits of lace costing a fortune

You mean fronts for modern slavery and money laundering?

It costs more to be an attractive woman if you’re not naturally blessed and there are higher expectations of women’s looks than there are of men’s imo. I am 41 and frankly jaded and tired of the constant up keep. Hair, makeup, nails, body care, aesthetic treatments, skincare, will need my implants replaced soon. I get it’s optional but it doesn’t feel optional to me.

It doesn’t cost more. Women choose to spend more on those things. And all men I know take a taxi home in the evening if the distance is far enough.

Hairdressers are pretty necessary. Sure, not survival but most people want to get their hair cut and women don’t have the barber option. And public transport and walking from the station isn’t always safe

Yeah I don't get the taxi thing either.

Do men not get taxis? Or wear underwear?

Bras and basic knockers - this has to be the most appropriately placed typo ever 😂😂😂

Lol yeah thought I'd got back and edited that in time but had to stop laughing first 😂

Oh, you changed it - spoilsport 😜

That's ok it's in your quote for posterity

I think it depends. You might have to look really good for work say, but M and S and the like do nice underwear. Do the home version of a bikini wax (razor? epilator?). Do your own nails if you must, hair - fair enough. Can't say for taxis, I just drive home. I garden as a hobby so nail varnish is lost on me.
I imagine a man in your role needs decent clothes, a good haircut, a manicure?

Umm, because I don’t have a cock and balls? Why would I buy underwear with a baggy bit at the front? There’s a reason they’re designed differently!

Oh well my hair just seemed to do that look by itself although I didn't like the battleship grey phase. To be honest if people have got nothing better to do than judge my grey hair I feel sorry for them.

No you need underwear, lingerie isn't the same thing. It is a type of underwear but not the type you have to have for work, well unless you have a very particular line of work.

I agree with you OP.
Bras are expensive, and a necessity for me. I also have to buy a lot of sanitary products every month.
I like to look groomed so i get regular haircuts and they have gotten more expensive. I’ve tried a cheap hairdresser but it came out all wonky, I don’t think they could deal with curly hair. I colour my own hair for economy.
I don’t buy into nails, aesthetics etc but I like to look clean, neat and tidy, as though I care about myself.
And possibly if I was going on holiday I would consider some sort of a wax.
If I cut my own hair and didn’t wear a bra I would look and feel like a tramp, and my back would ache.
After being accosted on my way home one night I also now get taxis. And carry an alarm.

But even a fairly fuss free woman needs:
Day to day bras
A sports bra
Probably some kind of multiway bra to wear with vest tops, racerbacks, strapless etc - if only to get married in!
Normal pants
Either seam free or thong to wear under leggings/tight clothing
Tights
Socks

Men - a 10 pack of boxers

As a young woman starting my career I was absolutely humiliated over a denim wrap skirt I wore to work. It was a very dark denim (almost purple) ankle length, wrap style, very smart looking and I had saved up for ages to afford it. The men in the office were wearing jeans! And they pulled me into the office and called it inappropriate. I think it was jealousy actually looking back because I was young and attractive in a moan stream way and the bosses were both women. Later, I worked in a factory and some of the other women were absolutely pulling another woman to shreds for wearing the same outfit two days in a row and I remember thinking that it wasn’t the end of the world but wasn’t brave enough to say it (I would now) I’m a teacher and the amount of comments if a woman doesn’t look groomed is unreal, no-one ever raises it officially but these women are the ones that aren’t progressing. It sucks.