To think being a woman costs more?

[ClairN]

DH and I have been having a debate on discretionary spending. AIBU to think being a woman is more expensive?

Bikini waxes, hairdressers, tights, lingerie, taxis after dark…

lol, a weak and predictable response, but attack is the best form of defence I guess. Proves my point that it hits a nerve to point out societal expectations are optional to conform to.

I’ve said YANBU, but, all those things are optional, you don’t actually have to do them.

The mysogency is assuming that women HAVE to do that crap - men tend to care much less than women - speaking as one who has been on the receiving end the off looks and comments come from the women only

it’s misogynistic as its putting requirement on women that don’t actually really matter - it’s forcing a stereotype

period

"If you're in a customer-facing role with strict appearance requirements, ie air hostess, then the waxing, mani/pedi, hair styling, makeup etc are all necessitated, but I imagine it's all covered in the salary".

Jesus - air hostess? As long as the cabin crew are competent and know and can enact the safety procedures who gives a crap what they look like? Even their employers have woken up to this.

So true.
When you step back and realise you actually don’t need what advertising says you do, it’s very liberating.
Even more so when you consider the rags dressed up (pardon the pun) as clothes today. Plastic plus more plastic pretending to be wool or cotton.
I’m always amused looking at Vinted and seeing something that was modelled in perfect light for a brand’s website and sold fir £££ and is now being sold in its real form… raggy on a hanger outside someone’s wardrobe.

Appearances are important. This is a natural state of being, even throughout the animal world

I need to look at the statistics. I can’t believe that you don’t think women ARE more vulnerable and therefore more likely to pay for transport home but if I’m wrong I will admit that.

I’ve checked and as I thought the statistics are skewed because men are more likely to be out at night than women. Also, stalking / following isn’t included in the statistics which is more likely to affect women.

I don’t disagree that men are also vulnerable.

I have day to day bras and a sports bra.
Normal everyday knickers and period knickers (which mean I dont have to buy pads.
Socks, some of which ive had for 20 years. Some of which are DCs old school socks.
Tights, but they last years.

Is it optional if it affects your career progression though? I don’t know but I do appreciate what you’re saying and it definitely hits a nerve with me so you’re right there, I’m not trying to pretend it doesn’t. I have an internal monologue when doing my make up etc. I think it’s a complicated topic and I can certainly accept different views. I just am not a fan of the comments that are sneery about anyone that chooses to look any certain way or conform.

Well that's good because I said BOTH are vulnerable

I really need to know how to make socks last 20 years. I lose so many!
I thought I was frugal but this thread puts me to shame.

I am always buying socks mine never last a year .

I wear odd ones most of the time!

That’s good then, doesn’t really help with the diacussion of whether it costs more to be a woman or not but 🤷🏻‍♀️

I buy my socks from M&S and they always end up with holes. I walk normally, wear normal shoes and never wear socks when I’m at home. Not sure how people make them last??

You need advice from the women on here. They’ve had one pair their whole life and they use them on their feet, during menstruation, they double up as bedding during the winter months and they use them to shave their flaps 😂

Drives me insane i just buy packs at the supermarket now .

Haordresses i go once every 2 years i n average thr rest i dont do, it is a choice no one is forced to get bikini waxes or buy lingerie

Or have spa days or buy tonnes of make up or the orange stuff they put on their skin and have weird things injected into themselves

Well it does

Because men take taxis too and OP was trying to say it was more expensive for women because of taxis

My work socks are worn one pair every day, always on my feet at work as well, and they're over 2 years old

This really is like the MN chicken.
So many women never get their hair cut! Or get their sons to do it/ shave their heads/ grow hair until they can sit on it/ weave baskets with their hair/ use the same body wash for hair, body and mopping the floor. 😄

I only get my hair cut every 3 months but that costs £50, which is cheap in London. DH pays £20 every 2 months maybe.

It doesn’t though. If anything it just makes it a more complicated topic. We don’t actually know (should read can’t prove) if woman need a taxi more than men do from a safety aspect because the statistics aren’t taking the precautions women are already taking into account. Anyway, I don’t want to bijack the thread discussing men and women’s vulnerabilities anymore. We’ll have to agree to disagree on this one.

Some should.

I will concede that how heavily those expectations are pushed in a work environment varies between industries. But still (and I’m not aiming this at you, just musing) if enough women pushed back, would that change? Like cabin crew as someone mentioned earlier - women pointing out how silly the high heels and makeup rules were led to a lot of airlines dropping those requirements and introducing trouser uniforms for women.

Personally I really don’t care how someone wants to look. If you (again, collective, not you personally) feel better and more yourself looking traditionally feminine and everything that entails with hair, nails and makeup, crack on. I certainly don’t think that’s anything to sneer at or inferior to non-conforming women. I think it’s always worth questioning though how and why our tastes and opinions form, and questioning whether all societal expectations are worth following or paying any attention to. And if you come to the conclusion that actually you don’t like having gel nails/getting Botox/scrubbing the house from top to bottom every time the MIL visits etc, just stop.

OK but it is entirely relevant

Because women don't, as a whole unit or by law, HAVE to use taxis and men don't, as a whole or by law, not have to use taxis

So it's not a specific cost to either sex but one made by each individual based on their own feelings of risk assessment and risk avoidance because gender doesn't protect you at night