To think being a woman costs more?

[ClairN]

DH and I have been having a debate on discretionary spending. AIBU to think being a woman is more expensive?

Bikini waxes, hairdressers, tights, lingerie, taxis after dark…

You do realise those are all options not mandatory

You don't have to do all that if you don't want to, though.

Edited to add: I do agree there are additional costs involved with being a woman, but to my mind they're more along the lines of sanitary products, bras, etc and paying privately for medical tests when nobody will bloody listen

All of those things are choices, so no. Taxis after dark I understand might be a necessity at times depending on where you live but the rest? Completely optional.

Definitely! I had a similar discussion with my then husband just after we got married. Don't forget sanitary products and make up (although I do agree we don't have to have the latter) .........!

Not here, I've never had a bikini wax, I wouldn't say I spend more on my clothes than my partner does. Hairdressers, it's only recently I've started going, but that is optional.

Taxis after dark, I rarely go out and if I do my partner will pick me up, like if he goes out I'll pick him up.

Yes of course I do. But they’re fairly standard and not “fun money” I don’t think.

I think taxis after dark could be legit. Also period protection. But the other stuff is your choice. Just cut it all out, and if your DH dares mention he preferred it when you made effort to look like society pressures women to look, then these things can be added to your spending budget.

I go to the hairdressers less than men I know go to the barbers.
I've never had a bikin wax
I buy tights maybe twice a year, depending on what events I'm going to because I don't wear skirts as standard
Men also have to buy underwear and use taxis

Sanitary products are the main one that women had to pay for that men don't but there are plenty of discretionary/optional payments men have that women don't

We have an extra item of underwear for a start, in the bra. Then there's items that seem to cost more because they are "designed for ladies" like razors that are pink rather than black (they do exactly the same job).

Yes and it's not always about the waxes etc. Products for women are more expensive. This is a useful example www.co-operativebank.co.uk/content-hub/articles-and-advice/pink-tax-women-paying-more-for-their-essentials/

I spend on my hair but, from your list, that's it. Tried bikini wax one time. Never again. I do my own grooming, and it doesn't cost much.

They absolutely are 'fun money'.

Bar taxis, which I can understand depending on where you live, and sanitary products which are obviously sex-specific, nothing you've mentioned is mandatory.

If you want to get your nails done / hair coloured / bikini waxed etc, then crack on, but it's not a fundamental part of the 'lived female experience'.

I mean, they’re really not. I’ve never had anything waxed. I used to shave at home now I’ve grown it all out. Hairdresser maybe once a year and I have a style I can easily trim myself in between. I don’t wear make up and live somewhere with good 24 hour public transport so I don’t use taxis very often

None of them sound like much fun, no. You’d have a lot more money if you ditched them.

Bikini wax - in no way standard, I'd never subject myself to that!

Hairdressers - everyone goes to the hairdressers. My partner goes more often than me. You also don't have to spend upwards of £60 every time.

Lingerie - completely optional.

Tights - not exactly bank breaking and men have socks.

Taxis after dark - when I lived in London I never bothered because the tube and buses were so much cheaper. Now I live rurally one of us always drives.

Discretionary spending is as expensive or cheap as you choose to make it...

Women often get left with the children when a relationship breaks down, not every man 'mans up'...and kids are mega expensive, so yes, being a woman can definitely cost more.

Yes, it absolutely is. Pink tax and all that.

Plus men can get away with very small classic capsule wardrobes and still look good. Women do need more clothes and accessories to look good for all occasions. I know women can just wear white shirts and jeans but really who does that.

Bras? I think our clothes are often more expensive and less durable too.

Not standard for everyone.

However I have spent approximately 32 years using sanitary products so I think that adds a fair few quid that my (male) DP hasn't spent!

No. They’re not standard. Lingerie and bikini waxes are costs you are bearing to please your husband presumably? Many women cba either with that shit or with men who do ‘request’ it.

Do men not also wear pants?

They don’t wear bras!

Some do. 😄

Sam Smith probably does.

I prefer to be waxed. It costs £50 a month. It’s a choice but it’s not exactly fun or an investment.

I don’t have a single female colleague who doesn’t dye and professionally style her hair (customer-facing professional services). Sure it’s possible, but it’s not the norm.