To think life is better in a loving relationship

[AskTheFlowers]

I know there are lots of threads recently about how great being single is and there is a massive push for women to stay single and how much “better” it is. But for me I just don’t agree, life will always be better in a loving relationship with someone that cares about you. (Not abusive relationships) aibu to think life will always be better with a loving partner than single?

It’s better to have support from someone who cares about you than not. It doesn’t haven’t be a romantic partner.

But it genuinely wouldn’t be better for some of us. Is that such a difficult concept to grasp? It would actively make my life worse and less enjoyable even if it’d make it better for others.

No it’s not. It might be for you but for some of us single life is bloody brilliant. Goodness me, you won’t have it will you? Stop being weird. Accept that some people just don’t want a partner, me being one of them. I feel sorry for you that your happiness is so dependent on a man 🤷🏻‍♀️

I didn’t actually realise it until now , silly me ! , but you’re trying to goad people who are single .
Grow up OP 😂 😂

Genuinely, no. I am in a wonderful relationship - the best I’ve ever been in in my life. But while my partner is an added bonus my life was perfectly happy before. Sometimes I miss living alone - not because there’s anything wrong with my partner or the relationship, there really isn’t. But because I liked the quiet solitude of living alone as much as I like having my partner around. So I’d say my life is different with some perks rather than happier, and if we split up (once I’d got over the initial upset of the breakup) my life would be no less happy.

It's baffling that you can't comprehend that people are different to you.

Thick as mince. (OP, not you!!)

If you are in a loving, supportive relationship then that may be better than being happily single.
That said, I don't think that most relationships are loving and supportive.

Spot on

For you.

Life is best in a loving relationship... with YOURSELF.

That means you'll have an enjoyable life either single or with a loving partner who enhances it.

Hard to say… Even those in a loving relationshp?
The husband is sometimes an annoying fuck-face!

I've been with my dbf for nearly a year now, but before I met him I had a good stretch of time single after a crappy marriage/ divorce.

This is the best relationship I've ever had - it's loving, supportive and 110% honest and I trust him implicitly, which is a big thing for me after how I've been treated in the past. We just click together, and we improve each other's lives. Which sounds really corny!!

If I didn't have this, then I'd be on my own and be very happy. I think it's so important to be able to be happy on your own.

My experience is like a lot of PPs. Life is great in a loving relationship. Life was also great when I was single. Life was mindfuckingly terrible in a bad relationship.

I can honestly say that in the last 10 years I’ve been single, the only time I thought I would like to a have a partner was when I broke down on top of a mountain, with no mobile signal and so me and my wheelchair had to try and navigate a bumpy, pot hole filled road until I could get a some bars, and to be honest a mate or a sibling would have done just as well.

Sorry to be terribly dark but statically its a partner that would actually push you of that mountain rather than a friend or sibling 🤭 just saying.

We are all individuals. Some will be happier in a relationship, some will be happier single.

there isn't a push to be single. That's an odd take on it. Instead there is much more acknowledgment that people can be happy single. That for some it's a choice and one they are very happy with - and it's a valid choice.

Fortunately I am in at least nine loving relationships. I don’t need any more, if I grew to have another mutually loving relationship (e.g. a romantic one) I don’t know that my life would be any happier tbh. But then I am financially comfortable, lots of people aren’t.

I think happiness comes in all forms and what you might prefer will be different to someone else.

That said, humans are by nature social creatures- studies have literally shown that social interaction with others extends your life, and I find it quite sad the number of people who seem really proud of how insular and anti social they are.

I am not referring here just to romantic relationships but social relationships in general. Its bizarre to me, there was a thread recently on loneliness in nursing homes and how sad it is that some people dont have any visitors but that is at complete odds with people being proud to be friendless and hate "other people" or create any social relationships. You reap what you sow I'm afraid.

I agree that for most people I think a genuinely loving and supporting relationship is the ideal. The difficulty is very few relationships are like that I think! I suspect there are a good portion of single people who are happily single to avoid some of the awful relationships out there, and then there are some people who genuinely just thrive on being alone. But I think in the most part, life is easier with an equal partner.

Definitely for me. My husband can be annoying (as can I - probably more so, objectively!) but on balance he brings so much joy and stability and comfort to my life.
I would a hundred times rather be single than be with someone who didn’t bring this things, though!

Of course it is, but the key here is "loving", I am not referring to shitty, abusive relationships- far better to be single then.

For me, with kids, there are so many reasons why being in a couple is better.

1. Daily practicalities- we take turns to pick up the kids, there are two of us so the practical stuff is halved, as are chores, its not just me running around trying to juggle everything alone
2. Emotional support. Just being able to talk through my day, have a hug when I feel stressed, knowing that someone has my back is a huge support
3. Sex/intimacy - pretty obvious what the benefit is here so wont go into detail
4. Financial - sharing bills takes a huge pressure off and means we can spend more on leisure things we want to do and holidays etc
5. Planning a future together - it's so lovely to be able to do this with someone and make exciting plans together.

I am not saying people cant be happy single, they can. But for me, these benefits far outweigh what my life would be like if I was single. Single parents have a hard time- thats not an easy path to take.

I'm single. I could just about see myself having a relationship but they would have to live somewhere else and not talk to me very much. I don't want someone around me all the time.

I was talking to a man a few weeks ago and he was nice and good looking etc but he wanted to talk to me. All the time. Then he got funny with me when I said I don't like talking multiple times a day on the phone. (Which I had explained before I gave him my number.)

I don't want it, I don't like it, and I'm not going to say I'd be happy in a relationship because I absolutely wouldn't unless, like I tried to tell him, they left me alone most of the time.
And I don't expect anyone to put up with that so here we are.

I think it can be if you are with a great , kind and supportive personally who enhances your life and well being . It will also depend on your circumstances , ages , if you have kids .

I think the difficulty is a lot of people are desperate to be in a relationship and will settle for someone who maybe isn’t ideal , especially if you throw existing children into the mix .

I have come out of very long relationship which ended due to my exes affair / behaviour . The relationship wasn’t in a great place and would probably have ended anyway , but I really struggle with the impact on my kids and the cruel and selfish behaviour of my ex .

I am not actively looking for another relationship .

I not likely to meet anyone due to my age . I am not keen to try online dating as have seen on this board how brutal it can be for someone 50 plus .

i am also not likely to meet anyone in real life as don’t really have opportunities to do so through work / limited social
life .

I wouldn’t want to live with anyone currently anyway , as have kids at home . So whilst in theory in would be lovely to have a decent partner , I realistically have to accept that this is unlikely to happen for me .

There are certainly times when it would be lovely to have a partner who “ had my back “ and I was their most important person e.g birthdays / when you are ill . I did not have this in my relationship and I think it is better to be on your own rather than being constantly let down . I am lonely and don’t have a great support system . I am often overwhelmed by the constant juggling of kids / work etc .

I certainly don’t think that all men are terrible and I know there are decent ones out there , who are mostly in relationships .

Depends on whether you prioritise freedom over security in a nutshell.
Because being part of a couple always restricts you, because if you love and care for them you can never do exactly as you please because you always have to factor them in.
For a lot of people this is a price worth paying for the security of guaranteed companionship and someone in your corner. For others not.
Some people are dogs, some are cats.