Ex charging daughter for animal supplies

[StitchHappens]

My ex got a rabbit for our daughter (now 13) around a year ago. At the time she was spending half her holidays at his, and half of her weekends fri to sun, the others just on a Sunday. He had an agreement with her that she was to pay for everything the rabbit needed (food/bedding/treats/toys etc). I thought this was unfair as essentially the only way she had of funding this was the pocket money I gave her and her savings, however it was an agreement between them so I didn't interfere.
Since then he has started a business with his partner which means if my dd is there she has to be with them at the shop for the day. Due to this she has started just going to his late on a Saturday night and staying til 4 on a Sunday (when she has riding lessons there - which I pay for). This means she has very little time to spend with the rabbit, basically cleaning it out on a Sunday morning before leaving around 9.30am ish. Because of this he suggested that she bought the rabbit to mine, which i agreed to. Ex came in to discuss yesterday when he dropped her off and asked if we had everything we needed including a cage. I said i wouldn't be buying a cage as I was under the impression it was just a case of moving the rabbit from one house to the other. He then messaged my daughter last night and said he would bring the rabbit when she had transferred £60 for the cage/mats. Am I wrong to thing he is taking the piss?? Or is this between them? I am inclined to transfer her the money as u don't think he should be asking her for it. They got the rabbit for free and she has paid for everything it has needed for the past year.
Aibu?

You're more patient than me. Let us know how you go on keeping it in hutch, never under any circumstances in a hutch, giving it the run of the house, no - it should be free to run around outside ... on no circumstances EVER let it run around outside, what are you thinking you wicked woman, it needs its own room with an en suite and access to a chauffeur-driven Jag. 😂

Ah.. sadly I've spent all the jag money on animals.. 😆

Poor kid, poor rabbit. Rabbits shouldn’t live in cages anyway - it’s an archaic method of keeping them more designed for raising cheap meat. Mine live in the kitchen and sleep on the sofa or on a vet bed on the floor, and use a litter tray. We have a cat and dog and they all get on just fine. The RWAF has a campaign called “a hutch is not enough” - I’d tell him you don’t need the cage and just take the rabbit, and follow their advice on how to keep it. I supposed ultimately I’d grudgingly pay the money to get the rabbit out of there and keep my kid from being exploited though. Well done for getting out of that relationship. Bet you’re glad he’s your ex.

In the state it's being kept in, giving the animal up to a rescue centre is the best option

It sounds like the rabbit will be much better off with you getting the vast majority of its needs met than with your ex. I don't blame you not wanting to commit to potentially unbonded single bunnies. Where does it end?

Poor rabbit, poor kid. All sounds really irresponsible of your ex and cash grabbing from your own child is mad. I'd personally be buying a proper set up, suitable for a rabbit including a large cage and a run so it has a nicer life. He can try and sell his old stuff himself rather than taking more money from his daughter...

That sounds like a good compromise.

He's a twat It sounds like they wanted the rabbit but said they got it for your DD and didn't want to pay for it. Now they have got bored of the rabbit and want it gone. But yes he got the rabbit for her when she never asked and expects her to pay. Does he never stick his hand in his pocket for anything for her? Does your DD want the rabbit?

Thanks, I'm not against getting another. But I want to make sure it is the right thing first. I will get the rabbit neutered and see how it reacts and go from there. Anything I do will be with proper advice.

We have a working-line Lab @StitchHappens and she has always been great around our rabbits. Just introduce them (after rabbit has had a week or so to settle in - moving homes can be very stressful for them), keep a barrier between them but enable them to see and sniff each other. After a while - days or weeks, they hopefully will be fine with each other and know that each other is a fellow pet and not a threat.

She might calm down and be friendlier after being spayed. I wouldn't even entertain getting a companion rabbit for her until she has been spayed though.

She did want the rabbit to start with. I think it was their suggestion (but not 100% sure), probably to try and persuade her to spend more time there.
He gets birthday/Christmas presents but expects the 200 a month he gives me to cover everything else for both of them.
ETA yes, she very much wants to keep the rabbit. She adores it.

Thanks that's really encouraging. I trust the dog as long as I'm there. Much like with a baby!!

Just to say something encouraging about your dog - I’ve always found working line dogs & rabbits really quite easy together. Of course, the dog will have a high prey drive but to be a well bred working dog, it must also have a well inbuilt ‘leave’ capability. They should be fine with some time and training.

Good luck - you’ve done the right thing bringing the rabbit over to your house and refunding your daughter.

What on earth are you on about?
The rabbit is being rehomed to the OP ffs.

I just wanted to say that I think you are going to be a great bunny host when you’ve done your research. Thanks for listening and reading the links to the rabbit welfare sites.
We have fallen into having rabbits for the past 8 years thanks to a mumsnetter who needed help. I had to learn on my feet, like you. We have a houseful of dogs and cats too. They all seemed to learn quickly that the bunnies were family and not to be hunted. But I would still keep them separate when you’re not there. A puppy pen fence is useful. Our first one was a sole bunny, but we did get him a companion, and they adored each other once they were bonded. If you can find a good local rescue they will often bond the rabbits for you for a small fee.
And it’s true that bunnies absolutely shouldn’t be in cages. They bounce about so much. I’ve just taken on an 8 year old bunny that has been shut in a cage with no company for his whole life. He hasn’t stopped running round and snuggling up to our other bunny. He can’t believe his new life. We do keep our bunnies outside usually in a big run. But it’s a bit too late in the year to Chuck an indoor bunny outside, it’s very cold now. Especially with no company. A spare room upstairs will be great.
Best of luck. I hope this bunny has a much better life from the moment it moves in with you. And I hope your horrible ex doesn’t get another. Tell your daughter she mustn’t pay for pets at her dads, try to convince her that pets are better housed at yours. The rabbit welfare group provide a leaflet you can usually pick up for free at the vets, which you could give your daughter. It gives very good advice on how to care for bunnies. I think it’s called The Hop.

Rabbits should be kept outside ideally, at least not kept inside all the time. Yes they need plenty of roaming time and space

You and your daughter both sound lovely, the rabbit is very lucky to have you.

Whilst I’ve had rabbits who love company, I’ve had a couple who definitely preferred being the only rabbit.

Is the rabbit male or female? If it’s female, even if you keep it on its own it’s really important to have it neutered. Un-neutered female rabbits have an incredibly high risk of uterine cancer.

Do you have space outside to build a outside run for the rabbit? On sunny days it’s lovely for them to have some outside time. I’ve had house rabbits in the past, but ultimately they seemed at their very happiest whilst outside playing. Depending on the size of your garden, having a run your daughter can go in to, to play with the rabbit would be ideal.

I’m not sure if the rabbit already is, but it’s really easy to litter train rabbits. You can use a standard cat litter tray and the wood pellet litter.

Also has the rabbit been vaccinated? As a child, I had a rabbit die of myxomatosis even though as it was the middle of winter it wasn’t going outside. It’s important to vaccinate against RHD1 & 2 as well.

With regards to the dog, as a child we had a working border collie (maybe less of a prey instinct than a working lab I suppose) and her and the rabbit used to spend a lot of time together, as did the grumpy farm cat, who spent an awful lot of time hunting prey generally. I’ve always found our dogs and cats could differentiate between wildlife and family pets when it came to rabbits and guinea pigs.

House rabbits are very much a thing, and most of the 'rabbit mafia' as another poster has described us (kinda accurately, not gonna lie) keep their rabbits indoors.

Rabbit husbandry elicits strong views because so many people get it so very wrong, but the OP sounds like she'll be just fine.

I would too and let him have the "cage" he bought. He can always stick his head in it, or another place where his brains seem to reside.

But as this is already a house rabbit, it's best keeping it that way. To put a house rabbit outside in winter could kill it. Sudden temperature changes can kill rabbits. Which is why outdoor rabbits shouldn't be brought in to be house rabbits over winter and vice versa. People need to decide from the start if their rabbits will be outdoors or indoors and not mix & match. The only time indoor rabbits should be outside enjoying grazing in the garden is in the summer when there's no sudden temperature change between inside & outside (but not in a heatwave as the high temperatures can kill them too!)

There is always someone on here who wants to kick you when you’re down.

Sounds like you’re a caring, diligent person who will ensure the rabbit has what it needs. If you already have a dog, no doubt you will already have a grip of what animals need.

A minority of rabbits really cannot deal with companions: I have one such, she lived with a bonded other rabbit for about two years and when they both experienced health issues that is when it all went wrong. One has now died but despite many efforts to bond the remaining one it is no dice.

if your new (to you) rabbit can free roam away from the dog, and has a lot of human company mornings and eveningsz, they may be ok without a rabbit friend. It’s not ideal but it may just be ok, and its definitely a lot more alright than your ex’s set up

I would actually go and buy a new cage and take the rabbit leaving him with a used useless cage!

Sorry haven't read the whole thread, so may have missed this.

The rabbit needs neutering once 8-12 weeks post neuter, a reputable rescue will help to bond with another neutered rabbit (a rescue bun will also be vaccinated).

If it's a doe please consider neutering regardless of whether you intend to get a friend as uterine cancer is absolutely horrific.

Rabbits are most active dusk/dawn so having a cage they're shut into overnight is not ideal.

RWAF is an amazing source for info

https://rabbitwelfare.co.uk/companionship/

https://rabbitwelfare.co.uk/a-hutch-is-not-enough/

Thank you to everyone advocating for rabbits

Lots of good rabbit advice and it sounds like the poor rabbit is going to get a massive upgrade from her previous miserable existence. I agree with letting her settle in and getting her spayed before contemplating another. The main problem with getting another is that, unless you are lucky and they both die at about the same time, you then end up in an endless cycle of rabbits....not a reason not to get one, but food for thought.
Please do get insurance too. Sick rabbits cost a lot, if they get an episode that threatens to turn into gut stasis they often need hospitalised on IV fluids, and they are really really prone to teeth problems....which are ££££ to deal with properly. I wouldn't be surprised if shithead ex has just been flinging her crap food when DD isn't there, and not bothering to check that she's getting enough fibre and chew branches to keep her teeth and gut right. Hopefully not too much damage has been done to her cheek teeth