Ex charging daughter for animal supplies

[StitchHappens]

My ex got a rabbit for our daughter (now 13) around a year ago. At the time she was spending half her holidays at his, and half of her weekends fri to sun, the others just on a Sunday. He had an agreement with her that she was to pay for everything the rabbit needed (food/bedding/treats/toys etc). I thought this was unfair as essentially the only way she had of funding this was the pocket money I gave her and her savings, however it was an agreement between them so I didn't interfere.
Since then he has started a business with his partner which means if my dd is there she has to be with them at the shop for the day. Due to this she has started just going to his late on a Saturday night and staying til 4 on a Sunday (when she has riding lessons there - which I pay for). This means she has very little time to spend with the rabbit, basically cleaning it out on a Sunday morning before leaving around 9.30am ish. Because of this he suggested that she bought the rabbit to mine, which i agreed to. Ex came in to discuss yesterday when he dropped her off and asked if we had everything we needed including a cage. I said i wouldn't be buying a cage as I was under the impression it was just a case of moving the rabbit from one house to the other. He then messaged my daughter last night and said he would bring the rabbit when she had transferred £60 for the cage/mats. Am I wrong to thing he is taking the piss?? Or is this between them? I am inclined to transfer her the money as u don't think he should be asking her for it. They got the rabbit for free and she has paid for everything it has needed for the past year.
Aibu?

The point is, the rabbit needs a rabbit companion and lots of space, and takes a lot of time to care for. If the OP can't provide that, then instead of quibbling over the cost of the 'cage' she should be finding a suitable rescue for the rabbit.

I'd tell him to go fuck himself and report him to the rspca.

Report him to the RSPCA for what? Cruelty to his daughter? They don't deal with some species, such as humans.

She's 13, of course it's not just between them. He is taking the piss in a really nasty way, you need to advocate for your child against her financially abusive father.

I'd pick the rabbit up in a cardboard carry box & buy a new set up for home. I wouldn't be giving the arse wipe a penny.

Yes but she deserves a chance to research & be educated on rabbits, it wasn't her choice or pet to get, she wasn't involved in it, this a great time to give her tips on rabbits rather than tell her to just rehome it

Rabbits live for around 10 years by the way OP. Need alot of stimulation and ideally yes, another bunny for company.

They really need a free range safe place to run and jump for hours and hours every day, you could keep it indoors if you have a place for access to hay all day. If in the garden really you'd want almost a shed or an open hutch & outdoor area for it all set up for freedom but without the risk of other wildlife getting in

I would go out and buy a lovely, roomy hutch for the poor rabbit and leave him stuck with the old hutch.

He sounds like a right old miser.

The rabbit needs rehoming, unless you can bring it home to yours.

I'd sooner go to a pet shop and buy a new one.

I, a grown adult, mentioned in the hearing of an acquaintance (school mum) that I was considering getting some of a particular pet. She said she was wanting to rehome said pets. I had a holiday coming up, we agreed that I would pick the pets up from her house after the holiday and she'd show me how she did the pet care. I asked if she wanted money for the pets, she said no, she was pleased they were going to a good home and she wouldn't have to clean them out any more. She send them with a home and all the food and extra kit she had for them. It didn't occur to either of us that she'd do anything else - the kit belonged to the pets. She had no further use for them!

After the pets died I checked with her she was OK with me selling the kit on, for a token amount. I probably only asked because I've read mumsnet baby clothes threads. She of course was fine. That's how a normal pet owner behaves around rehoming, even when the rehoming isn't with their own child. Your ex is crackers!

I'd look on marketplace for a suitable home for the rabbit for less than £60. What is the arsehole going to do with the hutch he wants to charge you for anyway? The rabbit is hers, so just pick it up in a box.

I posted on another thread about teaching budgeting but my goodness this man takes the biscuit.
A child can be encouraged to care for an animal but we all know that it doesn’t always work out that way.
The adults are responsible for the well being of the animal, pays for all food and sundries without question.
Your ex is an absolute CF and needs to give his head a wobble. True colours and all that.

Thank you for all the replies. I have never had a rabbit, so this is all a learning curve for me too. I have been researching to make sure we provide it with a good set up and it it happy and healthy.
It has always been an indoor rabbit, so I think it is OK to continue as such? Outdoors it would be very vulnerable to wildlife, and our dog!
I believe the cage they have is one of the connect up panels so can be made to whatever size you want. The rabbit will have plenty of free roaming time when here. My daughter will let her out every evening after school and spend time interacting and playing with her. She adores the rabbit, and I am more than happy to take on any care as she gets older. We both love animals and whilst I have only had guinea pigs, I'm happy to take on the responsibility that the rabbits care essentially falls on me (which it seems is something her dad wasn't ever going to do).
I will transfer her the money, as she has already paid him (she says she was happy to). I don't know how to explain to her that this set up was never OK. She is very sensitive to any criticism of him.

I would not pay him £60 as the hutch might be too small and crap quality so you would be better of buying your own from the beginning.

Also he sounds like an idiot. Your poor daughter having to pay for everything, he's very mean .

I wonder why he is your ex..

Poor rabbit. I hope that you guys take better care. Please allow it out of the cage daily too, they need it, even in winter, this is minimum. They can become indoor rabbits and toilet trained with persistence and it makes them happier as they are social. Next door neighbour is rabbit mad and they're always indoor bunnies (with access to sealed off garden).

Edited, sorry, just seen your post, yay over being indoor!

Free roaming inside is ok but you do need to get another one.

I asked for a picture of what she has paid for, and have just been sent some dismantled panels and mats and told that apparently the rabbit is currently living in the bathroom as the cat's (many) keep sitting on the cage and it isn't safe??
I'll be getting it out of there ASAP!

Why do you keep saying it is between them? You need to step in and protect her, she's 13 and not capable of making these types of agreements with an abusive parent.
She shouldn't be left to fend for herself with him.

Take the moral high ground and don’t say anything your daughter considering she is touchy about him. No doubt he thinks he’s teaching her a valuable lesson, but he has lost sight of reality, he’s a dick. She will realise in her own time sadly. Well done for splitting up with him.

This. Organise for it to go to a rescue. Then he can keep his cage.

If she paid for the cage then it's hers and he gets nothing. He can't have it both ways.

I mean if he did buy all the stuff and the cage would sell for £20 or whatever I probably would give it to him. Just to shut him up.

But not if he's such a tight fuck he didn't even pay for any of it to start with.

Tell her she doesn't have to pay for anything when she's at either of your houses as she's a child. If he tries to charge her for stuff it's financial abuse.

Please do not keep a rabbit in a cage: who is looking out for this poor creature? This is exactly why rabbits are the most abused and neglected animals. For shame..

https://rabbitwelfare.co.uk/space-recommendations/

I don't get on with my ex. I try and have as little to do with him as possible. I don't like the way he is his partner treat our kids (my son is 17 and doesn't see him any more by choice) but i can't actually do anything about it can I? I have zero control over anything that happens at his house or his priorities and at 13 can't stop my dd from seeing him unless there were safeguarding concerns, which i don't think this would be. (Correct me if I am wrong, please). He would say that he had an agreement with her, and it was nothing to do with me. As far as I can tell, all I can do is stop giving her pocket money so she can't send it to him?!

As far as I know the rabbit was free he/his partner paid for the cage. Dd has paid for all food/bedding/treats/toys.
Can I say that to her? I can tell her she shouldn't have to pay for things, but I can't stop him saying the opposite. As I said she is very sensitive to any perceived criticism of him. I hope this is because deep down she knows what he is doing isn't right.

I don't understand your comment about not keeping it in a cage, what should it be kept in when it isn't free to roaming then? .. iy can't always be free roaming as I have a dog with a hugh prey drive, so there needs to be someone to supervise any free time.