Ex charging daughter for animal supplies

[StitchHappens]

My ex got a rabbit for our daughter (now 13) around a year ago. At the time she was spending half her holidays at his, and half of her weekends fri to sun, the others just on a Sunday. He had an agreement with her that she was to pay for everything the rabbit needed (food/bedding/treats/toys etc). I thought this was unfair as essentially the only way she had of funding this was the pocket money I gave her and her savings, however it was an agreement between them so I didn't interfere.
Since then he has started a business with his partner which means if my dd is there she has to be with them at the shop for the day. Due to this she has started just going to his late on a Saturday night and staying til 4 on a Sunday (when she has riding lessons there - which I pay for). This means she has very little time to spend with the rabbit, basically cleaning it out on a Sunday morning before leaving around 9.30am ish. Because of this he suggested that she bought the rabbit to mine, which i agreed to. Ex came in to discuss yesterday when he dropped her off and asked if we had everything we needed including a cage. I said i wouldn't be buying a cage as I was under the impression it was just a case of moving the rabbit from one house to the other. He then messaged my daughter last night and said he would bring the rabbit when she had transferred £60 for the cage/mats. Am I wrong to thing he is taking the piss?? Or is this between them? I am inclined to transfer her the money as u don't think he should be asking her for it. They got the rabbit for free and she has paid for everything it has needed for the past year.
Aibu?

Personally I would buy your daughter (and the rabbit) a much nicer cage (either new or off FB marketplace) and lumber him with an empty £60 cage he can’t use. Then pay for everything in future and teach your daughter how mean he was subtly.

Nah let him keep an empty cage at his house.
get down to pet supermarket and buy a great cage - and even maybe a companion? And then make sure daughter has the best time playing with said rabbit and not paying another penny.

Her father is an abusive dick.

This.

Wow what a prick. I'm all for teaching kids responsibility but that really just seems cruel. If he's unlikely to back down then I would pay it purely for my daughter and the the rabbits sake, but your daughter is unlikely to forget what he has done.

Said x 2 for emphasis lol....^

A £60 cage isn't going to be big enough for a hamster let alone a rabbit. Take the poor thing to a rescue. None of you are fit to look after it.

Jeeze. Since when was allowing animal cruelty a way to raise kids?

Yes, your ex is way off for asking your daughter (i.e. you) to pay for the rabbit. The only reason to do such things (in a nominal fashion) is to begin to teach your daughter financial responsibility, but that would only work if he is paying her pocket money (which I gather he does not), and she is making choices about what she spends it on. In this case, his deal with your daughter seems to be about him wanting to save a few bucks at her/your expense. He sounds like a horrible git.

Also, strange that folks are getting side tracked about the rabbit, which wasn't the point of your post, and blaming you for watching while your daughter is being financially abused, which you clearly aren't doing else you wouldn't have posted at all 🙄!

Completely agree. Contact Carrot Cottage

Jesus Christ! I literally didn’t think a dad could be as shit as this and still make regular contact with his kid. Honestly I think he’s a waste of time in her life and is teaching her absolutely nothing positive by being in her life. A) because of his shit behaviour and financial abuse over the rabbit, b) the little time he’s actually spending with her and c) the example you are setting really by allowing this to be a ‘normal’ event in her life. Honestly if I was you, I’d buy a cage and another rabbit so the bunnies have company, and I’d probably give him 30£ to buy the rabbit so he can’t ask for it back; and then I’d consider reducing contact even more. What positive things does he actually bring to her life??? I can’t see a single one in your post; and I’d go as far to say his behaviour is actually damaging.

Please read the link i gave you, which you clearly haven’t. I did not say that the rabbit should not be confined. Rabbit are social animals and as others have pointed out, should not be kept on their own.

Under the Animal Welfare Act of 2006, the 5 requirements that must be met are:

• The five welfare needs:
• The law specifies the key needs an animal has, which include:
• A suitable environment
• A suitable diet
• The ability to exhibit normal behavior patterns
• Being housed with, or apart from, other animals, as required
• Protection from pain, suffering, injury, and disease

Wow. You seem pleasant.
Can you elaborate on the ways in which i am either committing or contributing to animal cruelty?
I have always had animals and am 100% committed to making sure any animal in my care lives the best life they can. If, after proper research and speaking to those who are qualifiedbto deal in such matters, I am unable to give the rabbit the life it deserves i will absolutely rehome it.

Oh don't be ridiculous. For all you know the cage was bought second hand and was a perfectly adequate size. We sold a HUGE guinea pig cage and run (originally £300 and actually designed to hold two rabbits) for £40 a few months back, because we were sick of it taking up space. The cries of animal abuse based on absolutely nothing are bordering on hysteria.

OP, your ex is a tight knob. I see your DD has already sent the money back, so not much you can do now sadly. She will learn, with time, exactly what her father is like.

How do you think i should be reacting?
I'm pretty sure I can't reduce contact. She is 13, and wants to see him.

I feel mostly sad for the rabbit. Being kept alone and barely bothered with. I hope this improves while it is at your house, or it's living a life of misery.

I did read it. From your post :
"Please do not keep a rabbit in a cage"

That’s total rubbish, rabbits should be neutered and vaccinated and kept with at least one other rabbit. They should also NEVER be kept in a hutch only. I assume he got her the rabbit and is now sick of it which is what very often happens and the reason that rescues are bursting at the seams!!!

We rehomed a neutered rabbit to keep ours company when one died. We set them up in separate runs in the garden with over a metre high chicken wire fence between them. Each jumped the fence to wrestle with the other! Fur was flying!
We bought more chicken wire and built higher fences. It took about three weeks for the rabbits to acclimatise to each other but we still let them sleep in separate hutches so we knew there was no aggression in the night time when we weren’t around.

They are now free range in the garden in the day time and seem quite happy and companionable.

Rabbits should never be kept it a hutch, just because they are still being sold does mean they are right! Please do some research.

Thanks. I'm willing to bet it has never had a vaccination.
To be fair it hasn't been kept purely in a cage. The lack of time my dd spends with it now is purely down to the change in circumstances, and why it was coming to mine.

So your daughter has paid for everything and he’s asking for £60….for what? Cos your daughter owns that rabbit and everything it comes with.

so he is financially abusing his own daughter!! I am all for teaching them how to be responsible with money but this makes zero sense!

Rescues are full. She’s better to keep it if she can care for it properly

For the cage he got the rabbit. Yes, she has paid for else. It seems he wants to make sure he hasn't paid for anything..🙄

In the circumstances the rabbit will be better off at yours, I, like you have would have reimbursed your DD the money because her Dad sounds like an arse.
A couple things to mention about rabbits
They do need tons of space, you should also still vaccinate even if an indoor rabbit because there has been evidence that VHD and myxomatosis can be spread by contaminated clothing and if your daughter has riding lessons etc there is quite a high chance she will come across these viruses in the environment she is in and transfer from the wild bunny population to her pet.
Secondly if the rabbit is female they have a very high chance of getting uterine cancer after the age 4 so should be neutered. Neutering may also improve its behaviour and I suspect if it’s stroppy, it’s a female and male rabbits tend to be more docile.
All rabbits should have a friend but this process can’t be rushed, it’s taken us months of side by side contact through wire with neutered rescued bunnies in the past to be able to then mix them.
I have had dogs alongside my rabbits and they’ve always been fine, never have been unsupervised together and the dogs soon learnt that the bunnies were a no go. Our rabbits free roamed over half of our garden during the day and the dogs were on the other side but they paid no attention.
If you do have an area of grass I would build a run so that in the warmer summer months they can spend some time grazing outside, the health benefits of this are vast.
Good luck with your bunny, I’ve worked in the animal care industry and always recommended people avoid rabbits as children’s pets because of their extensive needs, they are one of most neglected pets in the UK but it sounds like it’s living situation will be much improved with you x

Really? They should never be kept in a hutch? Because the RSPSA suggest otherwise. Perhaps you should do your own research. Maybe this video by actual experts, not Mumsnet rabbit nutters, will help:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=amQ8-HSyWbQ

Have you got a small room you can give to the rabbit and have it free roam? Rabbits really need a huge space, not a cage or hutch. Ours have their own room.