To be upset with what my friend said?

[Blueybingomum]

I’m currently trying to lose weight. Iv lost just under 4 stone and have quite abit to go.

i went out with my BF last night for a few drinks and joked “can you tell iv lost any weight yet?”

and she seriously took a step back and looked me up and down and said no I’m sorry.

it ruined my night 😂😩 she was being deadly serious but surely in that situation you lie?

I find it incredibly hard to believe she couldn’t see four stone weight loss.

Send her a link to specsavers.

If she is otherwise a good friend, put it down to someone who never really looked at you in the first place/has seen you throughout so the difference isn’t dramatic.

If she is also a bit snide and unkind, use this as a sign you can pour efforts into other friendships.

Unless your starting weight was around 30 stone, she's full of shit.

Nasty.
4 stone is incredible and a huge effort on your part.
Well done.
What a cow.

Well done on losing that much. Unless you were/are exceptionally large I can’t see how she couldn’t have noticed.

Four stone is significant. It either-
a) she genuinely doesn’t focus on weight and hasn’t noticed
b) she’s a cow and said it to pull you down

Yep, I've a 'friend' who I'm increasingly realising is not a friend who has made no comment on my weight loss even though we go walking together, I talk about the gym etc. She knows I'm using mounjaro so I really think it's jealousy. Literally no one commented on my first 2 stone loss but after 3 literally everyone has noticed and given lovely feedback.

Really??

A friend of mine has lost 4 stone, she was a very big girl. Tall and broad shouldered too. You can absolutely tell she has lost a load of weight. I think your friend is jealous (or being an arsehole if I am being less generous)

I think what you said would've made me feel incredibly awkward, especially if I couldn't really see it.

But I still would've nodded and smiled or something.

Pointless and nasty.

Well done op! I think you know full well 4 stone is visible so she was being horrible. Does she have a weight issue?

Two things

Huge congratulations on yeh weight loss I bet you feel and look great!

Don’t fish for compliments. Ever.

You’re right a good friend would have said something complimentary. For god only knows what reason she didn’t.

Try not to give it too much head space and file her comment away. You know who she is now.

I've just reported that post and hope others will too.

Sorry I have dyslexia so wasn’t aware of spelling mistakes.

Wow! 4 stone is a huge achievement. I bet you look and feel great. Welldone!
Please ignore your "friend" her comment stinks of jealousy.

Anyway Op, massive congratulations on your weight loss 🙂

Don’t ask the question unless you’re prepared for the answer.

It’s literally impossible for anyone to know whether your weight loss is visible or not. And fishing for compliments is a bit crass really.

Presumably if she’s a good friend you wanted an honest answer from her? So what if she was honest and you can’t tell?

Presumably you have a significant amount to lose if you had to ask whether 4 stone is noticeable.

Maybe shes jelous of your success. Does she have weight issues?
Im really struggling with envy because I literally do not have one single friend at the momemt that isnt or hasnt been on the jabs. Every time i meet up with a friend they look lovely and slim. Im literally struggling to lose weight. I gym 2 hours a day and walk 5 miles a day (ive had 9 months off work & start a new job in 8 weeks). Ive been in calorie deficit and struggling to lose weight and inches. I feel hungry all the time and miserable, so take myself on long walks in the cold and wet into the woods away from shops and my fridge so i dont cave into the food noise and my rumbling tummy.
If i could have the jabs I would be on them for sure.

I dont resent thier success but i am envious with their success.
I never voice it but ive come home and cried once or twice out of my frustration of feeling "im being left behind" I am still the fatty and becoming the only fatty in my circle.

I very obviously have HUGE hang ups about my weight and Im ashamed to say a few times recently not been able to offer compliments on thier svelt fab appearance unprompted.

Weight. Food relationships. Appearance hang ups...are huge problems for many people.

I disagree. When people are like 20 stone plus you often can’t tell until a lot more is lost

And sorry..after all my waffling...well done on your successful weightloss. No matter how any of us do it, its a challenege and a journey that does deserve a well done.

Well, she wasn’t being very considerate in her response but it is possible that she’s not noticed.

I was 10st overweight and have now lost 4.5st and a few people are only just starting to notice. Even my dad a couple of weeks ago was skeptical when I said what I’d lost so far.

I’ve gone from a size 22 to an 18 so still very overweight…. I can see that it may not be obvious yet as I still look big.

you’ve done so well though, well done

Unless it was an obvious weight loss I’d start worrying she was testing me and if I said yes when she hadn’t lost any she’d think I was a bullshiter 😬 (I’m a worrier).

Those saying why haven’t people commented, I’ve lost 8 stone and HATE people commenting, so I wouldn’t comment on anyone else’s weight loss.

Just to give a different perspective, I am oddly "weight blind" and generally don't register even quite significant weight changes in other people until they are pointed out to me. My very dear friend apparently gained almost this amount (and she wasn't large to begin with) and I honestly didn't really notice. She was miserable about it and thought I was just being kind when I said I couldn't tell. She recently lost it all and again I didn't notice, which in retrospect I felt terrible about because she'd worked incredibly hard and was deservedly feeling really good about herself.

I upset a coworker a couple of weeks ago who mentioned being on WLI and I asked her how it was going and if it was working for her. She gave me a WTAF look and coldy said that it was obviously working because she had lost three stone. Again I felt awful but I genuinely hadn't registered. But equally I had never seen her as someone who might want to lose weight in the first place.

You know your friend best, do you think she was being underhand rude?