To be upset with what my friend said?

[Blueybingomum]

I’m currently trying to lose weight. Iv lost just under 4 stone and have quite abit to go.

i went out with my BF last night for a few drinks and joked “can you tell iv lost any weight yet?”

and she seriously took a step back and looked me up and down and said no I’m sorry.

it ruined my night 😂😩 she was being deadly serious but surely in that situation you lie?

That is just inconceivable to me. I've heard of face blindness but I thought it was something that only affected people who had serious mental issues.

What pp is describing isn’t face blindness though.

Someone close to me has just lost several stone on the jabs, I have to say I couldn’t really tell. I was polite and said they looked great (which is what your friend should have done) but I’m not sure if I notice how wide people are, she was still round looking so her shape seemed the same to me even if she was a few dress sizes down.

I am not even going to bother arguing with you 😂

I saw a post online yesterday by someone who had lost a lot of weight. I honestly couldn't tell from the photos though everyone else was commenting that they could. So I think yabu. You asked and she answered honestly, that's what friends do.

Someone I know lost 4 and a half stone and I honestly couldn't tell. She was still wearing similar / the same clothes and hadn't lost anything/much off her face. I was surprised that she looked the same and I obviously lied and said that I COULD see that she'd lost weight. But I really couldn't

Just to add, she's got about another 6 stone to lose so maybe that's why I couldn't tell?

Yes I do think this is possible if the person wore baggy clothes to begin with and have quite a lot of weight to lose. I was discussing this thread with DH as some relatives we know are on the weight loss injections and we will see them at Christmas . I am delighted for them as they have quite a lot of health issues which will be improved by losing weight, but one in particular has gone up and down weight wise over the past few years, so genuinely I am not sure how visible a 4 stone weight loss would be.

I’m afraid I agree with this - but …

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WEIGHT LOSS!

It’s rude to comment on someone’s body, especially weight, in any capacity. I wouldn’t dream of commenting on someone’s weight unless they specifically asked.

I can empathise with this so much! All of my friends are on MJ - even the ones who weren’t overweight to begin with managed to get it so they could get size 0, supermodel figures meanwhile as a yo-yo dieter I remain the fat one in our friendship group. I am really determined to try and lose the weight this time, hopefully without the injections but I’m not averse to taking them if my last ditch attempt to do it on my own doesn’t work.

OP - I wonder whether your friend is simply blind to your weight. The lady who helps me with my cleaning and I were chatting about weight the other week and she told me she weighs 13 stone. I wouldn’t have ever guessed. She’s an inch or so taller than me carries it so well. I guessed her weight at 10st and she told me she hasn’t weighed 10st since 2 years ago but to me she looks exactly the same to me then as she does now. I know it’s the reverse of your situation but I genuinely hadn’t noticed her weight gain.

I do feel like it's becoming harder to know what to say. There was a thread recently where someone had lost a lot of weight and noone had said anything and multiple replies were along the lines of "good- its rude AF to comment on anyone's weight and people should steer well clear of that topic because its so sensitive".
Others commented that they had lost weight due to illness or stress so commenting on it wasnt a good thing at all.

Therefore, I no longer comment on anyone's appearance.

I’m really not sure mumsnet is the harbinger of social etiquette to be honest. 😂

For all those saying a 4 stone weight loss is absolutely noticeable, no, that isn’t necessarily the case.

I lost a similar amount and, no, it didn’t show. It genuinely and objectively didn’t show.

How can I say this with certainty? Well, because each month we took pictures from the front, back and sides, with measurements, and always in the same clothes. And, yep, literally no change. Some friends who knew I was doing WeightWatchers did comment that my face appeared slimmer but that was likely to do with dental work and jaw reduction 🤭 .

However, I was pleased in a perverse way that the weight loss didn’t show as that meant the visceral fat around my organs (the dangerous fat) was reducing. (And weight reduction was a health priority rather than aesthetics(.

Then one stone more and all of a sudden, it showed. And I dropped two dress sizes. Then dropped a further dress size while not having lost any further weight while presumably my body was readjusting and settling.

Go figure 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Quite right, but to be fair, commenting on another person's weight IS a bit of a minefield so probably best to take the safe option and not mention it.

I think you're right. The clothes were her usual large baggy dresses.....maybe once she wears more fitted clothes, it'll be more obvious that she's lost weight ?