To ask: Married ladies, what’s one reality check single women need to hear?

[BeforeTheRingBlinds]

Not the cliché stuff like “marriage takes work” or “communication is key”, we’ve heard that a million times. I mean the real stuff. The things no one really warns you about. The moments that blindside you. The shifts that happen after the ring or after kids or even just in the daily grind. What’s one truth you wish someone had told you before you got married, especially something that might surprise or sober up those of us who are still single?

AIBU to think that behind all the cute photos and wedding hype, there’s a whole layer of marriage that’s rarely spoken about?

(And yes, I’m ready for honesty not doom.)

He needs to be kind to you, funny, and you need shared interests otherwise it will just grind to a halt.
Mine just happened to be very also very good looking and well salaried so I hit lucky on all counts !

Life can be very hard at times, sadly.
Bereavements, fertility issues, navigating in-law family dynamics, redundancies, illness, disability, money problems...
If I had my time again I would;
Have the wedding we wanted
Insist that I had a private pension
I would not take on the "wife work" of dealing with in-laws and being the person that becomes the default contact/arranger
I would set better boundaries more quickly
But - most importantly - I would trust my gut
^ I think, perhaps, a lot of that comes with age and experience, though. I sort of drifted into being a sahm and caring for an elderly relative...it certainly wasn't a plan.

For me it was miles better than I expected.
When I always young I thought I was free spirted and didn't need to be tied down. However dh persuaded me to get married just after ds1 was born. I found that I actually enjoyed being a gang of 3 (and then eventually 4) and dh encouraged me to pursue things i wanted to and he always ( and still does) have my best intrests at heart.
It feels good knowing no matter how bad things are he has my back and will see me through it.

Tbere is no such thing as a stupid question. However, stupid answers are definitely a thing.

You need to be with the right person in the first place. For me personally someone I respect also with tolerance and kindness. I have friends but dh is absolutely my best, I can tell him anything and just be myself.

This post is a joke right?

Surely this is just stating the obvious

The in sickness and in health bit is hard.

I think i imagined sickness being a short cold and getting him some lemsip.

I didnt factor in him starting 5 years of debilitating mental health issues, after 24 years together and him never being quite the same since..

Choose your PIL wisely…..

1. your MIL can make your life very happy or very stressful
2. one day your DH will turn into FIL

The bad boy character does not age well...

This IS a wind up!

I like being married. It makes me feel good that someone thought me special enough to want to marry me.

Oh the part when they invariably start to lose their hearing and you have to repeat everything ten times... Saw it with my dad and pretty sure DH is heading that way and I'm not known for my patience 😭

Awww, you don’t need someone else’s validation to know you’re awesome. If he wanted to divorce you would that make you not a good/ special person. Having your happiness balance on someone else’s opinion is a big mistake

I'm divorced, does this mean I have reverted from "married lady" back to "single woman"?

Don’t marry someone with depression

Don’t have children

I only used the phrase casually, not as a hierarchy. Divorced, married, single, everyone’s insights are welcome. I’m just asking about experiences you’ve had while married, not trying to label anyone permanently.

Doesn’t matter if you spend £10 on a wedding or £10,000, it’s not how much money you spend on the wedding!
my wedding cost me £10, my sisters wedding cost her £10,000 she got divorced on her second wedding anniversary, I’m still married after 36 years!!
she used to say that my marriage wouldn’t last due to getting married in a registry office and paying £10 for the license!!

For heterosexual marriages and what to look for in a man - pick someone you are good friends with, who is nice to his mum and who likes women as people not just sexual partners. And who has a work ethic in as well as out of the home.

It's proven that once a single man marries his time doing the housework decreases and yours increases. Women will continue to do everything they did when single but most men don't they drop a lot of domestic duties, to the point of gardening/lawns and car maintenance

25 years of waking me up every night breathing on me and snoring.

The op doesn’t care! As long as she has fuel for her article