Would you expect/would your family join in with the Tom foolery?

[Pissingitdownquelsurprise]

Had parents and sibling and niece & nephew (late teens) over this weekend
Our Dc is 6 and bouncing all over the place talking to everyone, sibling and DN and DN are quiet people, which I get. Dd asking them if they wanted to play or trying to make conversation, no one really making any effort with her, so it always ends up being Dh and me running around playing with her, doing hide and seek and playing games etc. I totally get that they all probably don’t want to and it’s not much fun, but wouldn’t you give attention..,or at least talk to your little cousin/niece?

Felt a bit sorry for her as she was literally getting nothing back and loves them.

What?

SNAP! You need to play snap. Everybody loves it and you must have a couple of decks of cards floating around. Hopefully the DN's are socially aware enough to let your DC win sometimes. They don't need to leave the table. Then send DC off to watch a fave movie, whilst you catch up with DN's. Have some lunch /dinner and job done. DC can help set the table. Easypeasy.

YABU. This is why I am very glad I don't have family with kids. I don't like playing with kids at all. I don't dislike children, but I am no good with them and prefer the ones who are not boisterous and fun loving (I was very reserved and also very polite as a child: I was often invited to places where other kids were forbidden because I could be trusted not to make a nuisance of myself) I didn't even enjoy playing with other kids when I was a kid. Your niece and nephew don't have to engage with your child if they don't want to.

What do you mean? Who do you mean?

No, it's not. Stop expecting your guests to play babysitter.

Perhaps they would, perhaps we all would rather be doing something else or being somewhere else, but it’s family and a small girl

Why would they want it? Not everyone's life revolves around children.

ah just what I was expecting, a drip feed esp when the majority of replies were not agreeing with the Op.

Were you, were you expecting that, well done you then 👍

Do you always play with dd ? Sounds like she can’t entertain herself

if have people over def won’t want to play hide and seek as want to chat to them

a 6yr has nothing in Common with her cousins of late teens /early 20’s and prob find her slightly annoying

doesn’t make her a brat - but she doesn’t need to be centre of attention esp when grown ups are trying to talk / catch up

Did you and your husband really go out and play hide and seek when you had guests ? There is rude people here for sure and it’s not the teenagers. You sound lile
an insufferable family so maybe they won’t visit again

So acknowledge that they already made the effort to turn up and stop asking more of them. Being family doesn't make them obligated to provide your desired level of input. Small girls are nowhere near as interesting to others as they are to their doting parents. You chose to have her, they didn't.

’Mums’ net..the site that apparently has many non mums who really dislike children and make it very vocal after a sad night on the wine.

Yes to Snap! A few games of snap and a few games of cheat, that thing where one of you draws the head, and folds the paper and then then next person draws the body - make some paper aeroplanes, maybe a basic board game, she helps set the table and clears up, takes a drinks order, hands around a plate of biscuits - it’s not a choice between “hide and seek” and “seen and not heard” but she should be able to entertain herself for some of the time. You should have helped her by suggesting some activities she could easily join in rather than let her get upset and then leave your guests to go out to play.

How rude and obnoxious. You don't even know these people.

Me? I have two children, one with ADHD as it happens. I still always expected decent behaviour from them and for them to not hassle or pester guests. Absolutely my ADHD child needed more interaction (from me/DH) than the NT one, but we taught him strategies (fidget spinners, mind exercises, climb the stairs a few times etc ), we didn't try to change the environment or other people's behaviour, because that's not a realistic long term strategy.

OP is hilarious, most people disagree with her and there she is throwing her toys out of the pram. I actually don't really agree with the person who said the child was a brat, OP is the brat (although the child will probably grow up to be insufferable if OP is anything to go by)

you literally described her bouncing around. I get it - she is your child, a PFB?

Not everyone comes to see her, they come to see you. You let her bug them and now you're cross?

Nope.

You're being incredibly rude.

I'm out.

Maybe they just aren’t used to kids that age, I was hideously socially awkward and self conscious as a teenager (undiagnosed autism) and even when I was a child
myself I wasn’t good at playing. I just don’t know how.

But they were there for six hours! Was the 6 year old meant to entertain herself for all of that time? Nobody else was bothering with her so what were the parents supposed to do?

Funnily enough, one of the most enjoyable and hilarious family get togethers we’ve had recently was when my younger nieces made us all play hide and seek. Aunts, uncles, teenage children and grandparents. It was genuinely really funny and not something I’d really be bothered with usually.

Family get togethers should be about involving everyone. I’m not suggesting everyone should be playing hide and seek but you’d think some of the posters here had just emerged from the Victorian era with their views about children just playing quietly or being in their room. Surely meeting up with family means family members should be interacting. It’s difficult if there’s a sole child who’s much younger but the older teens are actually adults, not young teenagers. They strike me as very self-absorbed, awkward and anti-social. I know many teens who are more than capable of engaging with young children. OP- I’d be annoyed too

God no. What you are describing is you were exoected to parent your child to allow the other guests to be left alone. They aren't child entertainers and frankly other people's children are really tiresome after a while no matter how much you care about them

Go to her room.

Sure, great, pat yourself on the back, you are amazing, good for you, you have it all figured out