Would you expect/would your family join in with the Tom foolery?

[Pissingitdownquelsurprise]

Had parents and sibling and niece & nephew (late teens) over this weekend
Our Dc is 6 and bouncing all over the place talking to everyone, sibling and DN and DN are quiet people, which I get. Dd asking them if they wanted to play or trying to make conversation, no one really making any effort with her, so it always ends up being Dh and me running around playing with her, doing hide and seek and playing games etc. I totally get that they all probably don’t want to and it’s not much fun, but wouldn’t you give attention..,or at least talk to your little cousin/niece?

Felt a bit sorry for her as she was literally getting nothing back and loves them.

I don't think I'd be running around your house playing hide and seek but I'd definitely talk to the DC.
I always played with my young nieces, they usually brought toys to me rather than me having to run around, and my dcs as teens would play with their younger cousins as well.

However my sil never bothered and still doesn't bother with my dcs, which I've always found rude and selfish.

But you are not everyone, I dont know why you thinks she loves them if they dont interact with her

I would expect politeness from any adult or child but no more than that

You can’t expect shy people to be running around your house and being boisterous, but they might gradually venture into engaging with quieter activities. Hide and seek when you have guests strikes me as a mismatch. Try books or colouring in or play figures or jigsaw or whatever.

I think your DC sounds like a brat tbh. By 6 they should have enough social awareness to pick up when people don't want to play and should be able to amuse themselves quietly, not interrupt etc.

No-one should need to spend the whole day running around playing with a 6 year old, and I'd be raising an inner eyebrow at people that invited us round, then spend the whole time running around after and pandering to their child. Guests visiting is not the time for hide and seek etc. Child should have the social skills to understand that, and most certainly the parents should.

I find it odd that you think your child not picking up on the social cues of people not wanting to play or revolve their day centering on her is her having social skills, its quite the opposite actually. She's missing the social cues.

I think your DC sounds like a brat tbh. By 6 they should have enough social awareness to pick up when people don't want to play and should be able to amuse themselves quietly, not interrupt etc.

No-one should need to spend the whole day running around playing with a 6 year old, and I'd be raising an inner eyebrow at people that invited us round, then spend the whole time running around after and pandering to their child. Guests visiting is not the time for hide and seek etc. Child should have the social skills to understand that, and most certainly the parents should.

I find it odd that you think your child not picking up on the social cues of people not wanting to play or revolve their day centering on her is her having social skills, its quite the opposite actually. She's missing the social cues.

Ffs 😂 Quite a huge exaggeration on all parts of what I said.

My child is no brat, do you have kids?

But its what you wrote why was your husband and you running around and playing hide and seek when you have guests. 6 isn't that young she should be able to amuse herself or go play in her room if shes bored while the adults are talking.

Playing hide and seek while you have guests is a bit odd.

She doesn’t want to go and play in her room, hidden away, she wants to see her family she doesn’t get chance to see a great deal. She was happy and excited to see them and kids generally show this by wanting to engage and play/talk

I agree. Sounds like the 6 yo was expected to be the centre of the show.

They’re nor guests, we’re all family, she’s 6

Yes, it does.

I would expect a six year old (who doesn't have to go to their room) to quiet amuse themselves in the living area, talk to guests a bit, have them politely ask how she is, how is school, that sort of thing, then have some adult talk time. Depending on the relative, there may be room for a game or taking the child to the park or something as part of the visit, but the child certainly wouldn't be the centre of everything and I think it's a bit rude to host guests and then run around playing games with your child. I wouldn't visit again.

No centre of any show, but only little one there that they don’t see very often, I would make an effort with a 6 year old and initiate chat and play

Nope, its really not.

I very much sense your DC can do no wrong, and you completely pander to her, even when she's being a brat. Not an approach that generally encourages good social skills.

Hide and seek when adult guests are round! You don't see how inappropriate that is? Really?

Family who don't want to play hide and seek. With family we might go down to the park with the kids for a bit, play a game, do a jigsaw, push the kids on the swings in the backyard - but they would also spend a good part of the visit amusing themselves.

Your children are the centre of your universe, not everyone else's.

Some family are better at playing and interacting with little kids than others. If it became clear that these particular visiting family members weren’t good at playing with my child I would have explained to my child that the adults were going to have a chat and catch up and that she could do an activity of whatever I had set up for her such as crafts, tv, toys etc for a while.

I wouldn’t take it personally or dwell on it for any length of time

But they haven't made the effort there is a million things you can expect them to do doesn't change they don't, why would she be excited to see people who don't interact with her?

‘only little one there’

’make an effort’

’initiate chat and play’

They didn’t ask her anything though, by the end they were all sat on their phones-zero interaction, Dd had tried repeatedly to nicely talk to them and ask if they wanted to play, no one did, so we did
It’s nor what we’re used to, when friends come round and even neighbours will engage with her more, just felt a bit sad

If they are people you don't see very often in your home then I would class that as guests, even if you share a bloodline.

Did they all just sit politely alone in your living room whilst the three of you played hide and seek?

Most people aren’t the biggest fans of other children. It’s different when it’s your own child.

If I went to someone’s house, it wouldn’t be to spend the time with a six year old.

I think it is the type of game that is being played that is the issue. Quite frankly an 18 and 20 year old (or most adults) don't want to be playing hide and seek - and those are your guests.
I also think sometimes at that age they don't necessarily know how to interact with a 6yr old. It doesn't always come natural especially if they're not used to spending time around young children like that. I think you'd be better off having some activities for your child to be getting on with whilst you had a catch up and maybe a board game or something where you can all play together.

Stop calling my child a brat, seriously who does that.

Yes, Isn't that the point of visiting family - build relationships and make nice memories?

I am very lucky, as my sister is always very keen to interact with my baby. Similarly my husband and I always try to go above and beyond with niece, as she's our baby's only cousin.

I had aunts that were silly and fun, aunts that were kind, and aunts that were disinterested growing up (DF was one of 9). I am very fond and keep in touch with those that made an effort.

Them sitting on phones is rude. Were they trying to look busy so your DD would leave them alone? Still rude. It doesn't sound like they are there to visit your DD, just you. Yes, they could ask a few polite questions, but that doesn't mean they have to play.

I'd make the effort to play with a grandchild, niece or nephew myself but if it were a random friend's 6 year old, no thanks.

Do your friends who come around and play have young children themselves? That makes a big difference. I'd be more likely to play and interact more intensely if it were that kind of set up.