Would you expect/would your family join in with the Tom foolery?

[Pissingitdownquelsurprise]

Had parents and sibling and niece & nephew (late teens) over this weekend
Our Dc is 6 and bouncing all over the place talking to everyone, sibling and DN and DN are quiet people, which I get. Dd asking them if they wanted to play or trying to make conversation, no one really making any effort with her, so it always ends up being Dh and me running around playing with her, doing hide and seek and playing games etc. I totally get that they all probably don’t want to and it’s not much fun, but wouldn’t you give attention..,or at least talk to your little cousin/niece?

Felt a bit sorry for her as she was literally getting nothing back and loves them.

'I totally get that they all probably don’t want to and it’s not much fun, but wouldn’t you give attention..,or at least talk to your little cousin/niece?'

They didn't even speak to her. No interaction. And later on ended up scrolling on their phones.

It's not healthy or polite to ignore people and sit on your phone at a family gathering. How can anyone think it's acceptable to do that?

You did say bouncing all over the place in your OP. When I’m with adults, I don’t like kids bouncing all over the place. Some boys seem to do this a lot more than girls. It’s irritating when you’re trying to have a conversation. I struggle to engage with any child, other than my own DC, for more than 5 minutes as I find them boring.

I would’ve expected your parents to try and play, or maybe your sibling but I think teenagers can be a bit awkward around kids & probably just can’t relate to them.

I personally don’t make any effort with other people’s kids (despite having my own). I have a few friends who make zero effort with mine, but I totally understand. Kids are annoying to be fair :/.

But no, I wouldn’t expect anyone to want to overly engage or play with my kids.

OP later clarified that the game was running around the back yard playing hide and seek, which they did with their daughter while their visitors waited. Chatting fine. Playing, fine depending what it is. Physical games don't suit everyone, every day, and I don't think that's a reasonable expectation. Usually what is played is negotiated, not told.

What's not clear is if the phones came out when the family went out to play in the yard or when they were trying to escape the bouncing child.

I wouldn’t speak with a six year old who was bouncing around all over me either - I am not a climbing frame.

If OP wants people to interact with her DD then she needs to teach her how to behave in company, not expect her guests to tolerate being jumped on and interrupted.

What a strange comment that I am entitled. Bizarre extrapolation there.

Wanting to interact with others is not an indulgence. It is a normal human engagement.

Whether the adults played hide and seek or read r a book or played snap, it’s really really a big deal.

Perhaps stop insulting other posters too.

If the child were nagging all day for people to play, then that would be exasperating and no wonder the older kids retreated to their phones. At that age life is one long embarrassment and if they’re not used to small children it can be terribly awkward.

As others have said, a board or card game - Guess Who, Kerplunk, Frustration, Snap - all good to play for a bit at any age.

“Active play” is many people’s idea of torture - let alone at someone else’s house.

À great many people, including me, have no experience of young children, don't really like them or know how to engage with them. This nightmare situation would have made me incredibly embarassed. I feel totally sympathetic towards your young relatives.

You need to teach your child appropriate boundaries and social behaviour so she learns to sit quietly and read or something rather than pestering guests.

I wouldn't allow a puppy to bother guests like this. It would be swiftly removed to another room and given a chew toy. I certainly would not désert my guests and take it into the garden to play fétch.

If you decide to bring your child along for 5-6 hours was it? Then you need to be the ones that make sure she’s entertained.

It’s nobody else’s job.

Whether she’s neurodivergent or not that's a long time to be in the presence of others, of course she’d expect others to play with her/talk to her.

You definitely should be talking to her about how to be socially (unless she is neurodivergent in such a way that she can’t handle social situations - which she should not be made to go to)… to not bug people, that everybody is different and may not want to play at all, that if she needs someone to play with then it should be you or your husband.
You should also make sure she has enough things to play with that you’ve brought that will give her time for to play independently by herself when you’re both not able to be with her.

Personally I preferred the company of children over adults at that age and would have happily spent all the time with her, but it completely depends on who you are as a person, how you feel mentally, how you were raised… many things, and you can’t expect or rely on anyone else to entertain your child.

I feel the way you’ve written this post and the way you’ve been responding is very close minded, and no matter what anyone says you won’t take on any opinions or advice so I don’t really see the point of you asking on here.

Eh? The event was at the op’s house.

If you decide to have people over for 5-6 hours then you need to be the ones that make sure she’s entertained….

You were having an adult "meeting" and your child should perhaps have been encouraged to play somewhere else. You can't expect adults to entertain children.

You and your DH "running around" and playing hide and seek with the child while you have guests is just bad manners. Were you brought up like that?

You're going to put people off your child if you keep behaving like this.

Handy quiz for @Pissingitdownquelsurprise to dish out to prospective visitors next time she’s planning a get together:

A six year old relative approaches you and asks you to play trains with her. Are you a) absolutely outraged, why isn’t this child in her room?! b) absolutely charmed, what a great chance to get to know this child and get out of a boring chat about Aunt Enid’s leg c) absolutely unbothered, you say “I’m just talking to your mum but why don’t we have a bit of a play with them after lunch?”