Would you expect/would your family join in with the Tom foolery?

[Pissingitdownquelsurprise]

Had parents and sibling and niece & nephew (late teens) over this weekend
Our Dc is 6 and bouncing all over the place talking to everyone, sibling and DN and DN are quiet people, which I get. Dd asking them if they wanted to play or trying to make conversation, no one really making any effort with her, so it always ends up being Dh and me running around playing with her, doing hide and seek and playing games etc. I totally get that they all probably don’t want to and it’s not much fun, but wouldn’t you give attention..,or at least talk to your little cousin/niece?

Felt a bit sorry for her as she was literally getting nothing back and loves them.

For 6 hours?

Ridiculous isn’t it, send a child to her room for 6 hours from a family gathering

In response to some others being incredibly rude first of all

Not for the whole six hours, no. But I don't think kids should be buzzing around for hours on end. Not only is it highly annoying for the non parent adults, it is also overstimulating for the child. I am very glad that the friends I have with kids aren't like the OP. On the contrary, they don't want to spend their adult time around their own kids!

Do you show as much interest in your niece and nephew as you want them to show in your DD? Do you try to find common ground and know what they're genuinely interested in (not just asking generic "so how's college?" type dead end impersonal half hearted small talk)? Do you know what music they like, what causes they care about, what their worries are, who their friends are, what they do for fun when not on family visits?

Asking them to play with your daughter isn't being interested in them as people, given the twelve and fourteen year age gaps - it does sound (unintentionally/ unconsciously on your part probably) like expecting them to babysit...

Your DD is possibly a little socially ypung for her age (not unusual in a neurodiverse child) and still has a toddler's innocent expectation that everyone will want to do what she wants to do, and lack of awareness that adults (which your niece and nephew are) don't usually enjoy running around playing with much younger children, and only do it out of affection for the child.

Sometimes ND children need explicitly teaching things their peers tend to intuit, and you may need to gently explain to DD the different ways to interact with her age peers/ younger children versus adults/ teenagers.

nobody would expect her to be in her room for 6 hours.

Your opening post described her bouncing round talking at people. Then you dripped the ADHD?

You need to teach her how to behave in social situations. Why did they visit? did you invite them? do they know she has ADHD? did they realise they would be expected to entertain her? So many questions

But it's ok because you have decided that everyone who has pointed out how awful this might be for your visitors are just mean girls being mean.

Your lookout if it happens again. Or they never visit again.

Sorry, are DN and DN your niece and nephew? If so, are they children or adults?

ETA: Have now seen their ages.

Asking for this to be taken down as lots who have messaged saying lots of drunk people looking to wind up and upset others and that isn’t my scene at all as a grown woman.

OP are you honestly not taking anything from this thread?

I imagine that you’ve got used to amusing your DD, constant interaction, chat, play - you used the words tomfoolery and bouncing around. As a PP said; this is toddler behaviour. Perhaps it’s continued due your DD having ADHD, but it’s really not fair to expect people to come to your house and act the same way as you. It sounds like it got uncomfortable for everyone.

ADHD or not, your DC can be taught how to leave adults alone if they’re clearly not interested, and play quietly. Your constant messaging of ‘the only little one’ ‘it’s a little girl’ suggests you do expect some level of fuss and attention, simply because of her age.

If they are quiet awkward people then something like a jigsaw is a good way to encourage interaction. It doesn't require anyone to make a fool of themselves and lends itself to easy conversation. Sometimes just a little ice breaker is needed, not everyone is a natural with kids and doing activities where you can just talk about the activity itself rather having to have random conversations or engage in imaginative play can be easier for people to do.

What? It’s her house. She’s banished to her room because two socially awkward adults who knew they were visiting a house with a 6 year old relative in couldn’t be bothered to even talk to her? Don’t be ridiculous. I wouldn’t mind but these people advocating social confinement for a normal egregious 6 year old will be the same ones bemoaning the fact that children have no social skills.
Interacting with family members of different ages is normal and expected. I could understand if it was an elderly or ill relative who needed some quiet time but seriously, an 18 and 20 year old? Were they suddenly going to burst into conversation once the 6 year old left the room?

Why are you assuming that everyone who disagrees with you must be drunk? I haven't touched a drop and I still think you're being an entitled brat.

This seems unlikely - all the posts so far seem coherent.

Ah yes. Always best to get an AIBU taken down when most people think you’re BU.

Oh stop it. You made a ridiculous post and now you are insulting people.

Well, not everything is figured out. But yes, I've done a pretty damn good job with the hand I was dealt, thank you for recognising that. The key is equipping your child with the skills for their adult life in this imperfect world. Its obviously much easier to just centre them in the here and now and expect everyone to pander to them. This isn't sustainable though, and fails them in the long term.

My kids are 18, 17, 16, 6 and 4. Even my own teenagers don't want to engage constantly with the little ones for 6 hours. It's mad to expect it from anybody.
As other posters have said, why not get her doing things like crafts, colouring or board games that others can join in. Thats always a winner and adults can chat too. Or suggest a walk if it's not raining, or a trip to a pub or cafe. Makes it an adventure for the little one and adults will enjoy it too.

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes
OP: No I’m not, you all hate children.

My nephew has 2 small children, one of whom can be really full on when we visit. My 16 year old engages with her but I make it clear she can stop if she’s had enough, because her mum definitely uses other people to keep her entertained during visits. I understand entirely that mum needs some down time, but I also recognise my teenager finds it hard sometimes and she doesn’t always want to be doing it. You might think it’s sad your family won’t engage, but that’s your issue, not theirs.

In my family we all join in the fun because we're all similar, GPs especially. I guess not everyone is the same but more effort could be made.

I haven't seen anyone posting that seems drunk? Most responses seem quite measured and well thought out. They may not be saying what you want to hear though, but that's a different matter...

That's really sad. Six is a great age to have fun and some great and funny conversations. They were probably too engrossed in their phones.

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes
OP: No I’m not, you all hate children.
Also you are all drunk!

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes
OP: No I’m not, you all hate children.

Don’t forget: You're all drunk

You posted on AIBU, with a poll to boot, just to be really sure. Now the prevailing view is that you are indeed being unreasonable and you’re getting very stroppy about it. Well that’s never happened before…🙄

If you’re just going to decide those who think you are being unreasonable are drunk (the majority? Really?) why did you even bother? At the very least you’re in the wrong topic.

I had much younger cousins and loved playing with them. In fact normally I'd be playing games with them and you'd only see us when called for a meal.
My sister would have hated that and was really awkward in relating to them. What she wanted to do was talk with the adults.
I'd often be initiating a children's table at gatherings ( Tbf they all came straight to me) and Dsis would be fighting to make sure she was as far away from it as possible.

We each thought the other was strange, but neither was wrong. Simply we were different personalities who liked different things.