DH spent £300 on one gift, now I need to equalise it

[Emvid]

DH and I have 3 children, this year they are all bringing their partners to join us for Christmas. I hadn’t really figured out how much I was going to spend on each child or their partners yet but probably not a lot.
This morning DH proudly showed me a vintage football shirt he’s bought for DDs boyfriend, then told me it was £300!
Now I feel compelled to spend at least that much on our children and similar on our DS’s girlfriends so there are no accusations or favouritism. When I suggested DH return it he said no as he wants to give it to DDs boyfriend and if not for Christmas he will just give it to him for the sake of it.
AIBU to be annoyed he spent this much on one gift without consulting me?

I wouldn’t even spend £300 on a child of mine old enough to have a boyfriend. Wow.

That’s a ridiculous amount of money to spend on one present. Can you afford to do the same for all?

First response nails it.

absolutely ludacrous. Unless I was a millionaire.

Would you have run every present past him?

Well, I guess if you're in a financial position to drop £900 on your kids' partners that's fine....

Has your DH considered this may embarrass the boyfriend if he's not in a position to reciprocate?

It’s an absurd amount and not close to what I’d normally consider spending.
We can technically afford to equal it out but I don’t particularly want to spend £1800 on Christmas gifts for adults!

If it cost £300, yes I would.

Your DH is being ridiculous, WTF has he spent that on someonee who isn't even really a family member? Do they support the same team and he wanted an excuse to buy it?
Just spend what you normally would and your H's weirdness will be there for everyone to see when everyone opens their presents

That's insane.

Nope don’t even support the same team, for some reason he is behaving like he wants to crawl up DDs bfs arse these days though.

Is he spending the same amount on the other partners?

Isn’t it just from both of you? I’m not sure I’ve ever had separate presents from a husband and wife?

for many people, it’s too much to spend on a boyfriend, but for others, it’s a normal amount if that’s your circle. But. Is it his too? Because he’ll be mortified with a £300 top if he’s gone for a box of roses.

If we buy £300 gifts for a child's boyfriend yes, we discuss it.
£300 is a lot of money!

He suggested as long as they only get one gift each it doesn’t matter how much we spend.
I think that trick works on toddlers but not adults and it would be fair for one of the others to clock one gift was worth 5x the amount of there’s and wonder if we didn’t like them very much!

Get him to give the football shirt as a separate gift after Christmas so no one else needs to know about it?
It is bonkers behaviour though.

Suggest he keeps it until they get married.

What do you think it is about this guy that he wants to impress him so much. There is clearly a reason , what is it?

It would be from both of us, but the point would be that spending £300 on one partner, means we would need to spend similar on the others and probably more on our own children as it seems weird to spend more on partners than our own kids!

DD and her bf will give DH a gift together, I doubt it will be worth £300!

No you don't, OP! Surely we just buy people something we think they would like? I have never sat down and worked out how much I spend on each person.
And your husband can spend his own money how he wants - as can we all.

Its insane.

He needs return it.

at best he can discuss it with dd and do it as a joint birthday present or some shit.

I have no clue how wealthy you are
We make 250-300k pa as household and theres NO way this would happen in our house.

Your ds's gf is going to feel pissed when she gets £60 of make up (very generous and lovely gift) but the boyfriend gets somethibg costing x6.
Equally your ds might wonder why you "only" spent £100 on him and 3 x on the boyfriend

He is the first of DDs boyfriends to really try with the family and show an interest, DH and he now play golf together etc. I think he’s just excited to have a new friend!

Well we always try to keep it fairly equal, not down to the penny but we’d never spend £50 on one child and £300 on the other.

Or embarrass him owing to it being a fantastically over the top gesture from a girlfriend's father.

Yes, I would notice if one of us (and our husbands) got a £300 gift and other a £50 gift. And I would really wonder what was going on. I can't complain how our parents decide to spend their money but it would be odd.

Oh this is difficult then. Because he’s tried to be nice I assume, but actually it’s cringey/try hard and utterly inappropriate. He won’t be able to match it, which is just embarrassing.