DH spent £300 on one gift, now I need to equalise it

[Emvid]

DH and I have 3 children, this year they are all bringing their partners to join us for Christmas. I hadn’t really figured out how much I was going to spend on each child or their partners yet but probably not a lot.
This morning DH proudly showed me a vintage football shirt he’s bought for DDs boyfriend, then told me it was £300!
Now I feel compelled to spend at least that much on our children and similar on our DS’s girlfriends so there are no accusations or favouritism. When I suggested DH return it he said no as he wants to give it to DDs boyfriend and if not for Christmas he will just give it to him for the sake of it.
AIBU to be annoyed he spent this much on one gift without consulting me?

But what if the cheaper items were more valuable in other ways?

I wouldn't notice or care how much my mum spent on mine and my siblings' partners. Would your kids really notice and make accusations?

Who Bean-counts how much presents costs, as adults ? surely you get what someone wants, or what you think they would like, rather than having to add things up so they all get to the same value.

I’ve never, in my life, looked how much a gift, given to me, has costed .

Then that’s a hard task that by the sounds of it is going to fall on the op.

Agree with all the other posters it’s a crazy amount and will likely embarrass the lad and your DD. Another thought is it could offend the boyfriend’s own parents - do they even spend that much on their own son? I don’t think this will be the amazing gift your DH thinks it will.

It is a bit embarrassing.

Your DD sounds cool enough to handle it though.

I don’t notice the costs of gifts either but if the OP gives one a box of chocolates and the other gets the shirt it will likely be obvious there’s a large difference and it’s not that people are grabby, it’s more that they might question the meaning behind it.

I think coming from the DD is better. I’d be so uncomfortable if my partner’s parent got me such an extravagant gift.

Clearly you can spend more on a child’s spouse than their boyfriend or girlfriend.

Plus it’s one of those items where the price isn’t quantifiable. It could have been £80 or £800. It is a meaningful present. That’s not always possible, so I think just enjoy your husband’s pleasure in giving it.

This ^ it’s a bit overwhelming to receive a gift like that.
could be a wedding gift.

Good idea. I got muddled with all the characters and thought they were married.

Maybe I’m more materialistic than I thought, but every year my SIL gets a more expensive gift from our MIL than I. It always makes me feel a bit shit tbh. Should be about equal value for everyone.

What is this “he spent x so I have to spend x”? You’re married. Isn’t it all “communal” money? And if it’s separate money then what does it matter to you how much he spent? If you want to have a say in what he spends, it needs to be a joint pot of money.

Does he have a son? Has he ever spent this much on you, or your daughter?

If deciding to budget nearly 2 grand on children and their partners I would assume she'd run it past him...

We have 2 sons, and yes he would spend this much on us and has spent more than this on us. However generally we don’t spend this much on partners and we tend to bigger gifts on birthdays than Christmas, Christmas tends to just be a few small items

No we are absolutely fine? This isn’t even an argument so much as a disagreement over how much we should spend, and it’s sorted now anyway. But marriage wise we are very happy.

Could ye do a secret Santa where everyone gets one person to buy for and fix it so dh gets that guy. Make the budget high but everyone only buys one thing but get a decent present.
This is how we do it but with a smaller budget. We have no interest in loads of presents so getting one is lovely

As long as DH doesn't boast about how expensive it was, will anyone else really know that it cost £300? It sounds like quite a niche thing, which most people would not have a clue about.

This ^
I would also check with DD if she wants this kind of precedent to be set up. I wouldn’t like it if I were her.