To consider Only Fans

[Daydreamnotbeliever]

So for background im a single parent of 3. 2 uni age kids, one older but has additional needs. All 3 live with me still. Im supporting all 3 more or less full. Their father is no contact and has been for over a decade.

I work full time and earn a salary of £40k. Which on paper is ok. In reality, more or less funding 4 adults, not so much. The kids contribute what they can. They pay for their own items. My eldest works part time which is about as much as he can manage. But its not enough. My wage doesnt stretch far enough. I run out of money every month. Theres rent bills heating food etc all falls on me and i cant survive. Theres no luxuries. No fun. No anything. When they move out ill manage but at the minute its impossible. And i cant expect them to contribute more. The eldest doesnt have the capacity and the other two need uni to be the priority they are both doing courses that are intense and do a lot of work outside of lectures.

Im single. However. I have a friend who i hook up with. Its safe. Hes safe. But i have no desire to live with someone and share a life. We date, kinda, go out for drinks sometimes or the cinema, hook up, and have fun.

The idea is he manages an account i make. He makes vids, edits, promotes, markets etc. I do the chats, conversations etc in the eve. We split anything earned, more to me. My suggestion not his. All my idea.

i know its not guaranteed money, infact the opposite, it takes a lot of effort to make something. He has the time to market etc. i dont. It would be faceless. I wouldnt put my face out there. But pretty much anything else goes.

I just cant manage at the minute. Earning more in my role is impossible at the moment. Theres no second jobs i can do. No local bar work. I dont drive. I have no “talents” for an etsy side hustle. I dont have the money to buy equipment to start a printing side hustle or something. I dont have the time for much around my job at the moment. Theres just not other way to make money. Im out of idea and i need to make a few hundred a month to keep my head above water now im funding 4 adults alone pretty much.

The concern is obviously my kids, even though they are all adults. We are a pretty liberal open family and discuss anything and everything. Id probably tell them, but its still a worry.

Would you do it? Could you do it? Have you done it? Can you suggest an alternative?

your suggestion is bloody stupid though. What could i walk in to, unqualified for, that pays more than im earning now, in a role that requires a degree to do? Its really not simple. My experience and qualifications are all directed at what i do now, im earning more than average for my qualifications. Find another job without considering my experience and qualifications and whats realistic is stupid.

I'm sure that a part time job would help pay the food bills.

Are you happy with your kids and their friends seeing you on there given they are all at an age where they may use only fans? You must have a pretty amazing body considering you think you will make money while not showing your face at a minimum of 40+ years old? And you are giving all the control and some of the money to a guy you wouldn’t even consider living with…. It’s not hard to work out you are incredibly unlikely to benefit your life by doing this. Get a bar job at minimum wage, it will make you more money and you won’t risk your adult kids being a laughing stock because their mum is trying to make adult content online

I wouldn’t. Once it’s done you can’t undo it. It will follow you around for the rest of your life.

There’s red flags all over this for me. When women are desperate there’s always a man ready to make some money out of them.
Id be having a tough conversation with your adult children and asking for more contributions in your position rather than risk a whole load of unknowns by selling sex.

Maybe get rid of the pimp boyfriend and tell your adult children to start earning some money instead?

I don’t think you should do OFs either. At all.

But these glib suggestions of “just” change sector and get a higher paying job are unhelpful and unrealistic.

So the food is the element that is costing you the most at moment?

And op, you can post whenever and wherever you like on MN when something backfires. Not sure why some posters think they can dictate who posts what and when.

It sounds like you are carrying an enormous load on your own, and you are doing the best you can in a very difficult situation. Supporting three adult children on one income, especially when one has additional needs, would stretch anyone. It makes sense that you are exhausted and looking for ways to bring in extra money.

About OnlyFans, there is nothing shameful about considering it. Many people look at unconventional options when things feel impossible financially. But it is good that you are thinking through the risks before jumping in. Even with faceless content, there is always a small chance of someone recognising you. It might be unlikely, but it is not impossible. There is also the emotional weight of mixing money with a friend you are involved with, which can become complicated later. And even though your kids are adults, it could still affect them if it ever came out.

At the same time, I completely understand why you are thinking about it. You need money now to stay afloat, not in a year. When you feel backed into a corner, every option starts to feel worth exploring.

Before choosing something that could have long-term consequences, it might help to check whether there are safer or simpler alternatives. Some people earn a bit extra each month through small remote jobs like user testing or quick online tasks. Renting out a cupboard or storage space can bring in steady monthly income without much effort. Your university-aged kids may qualify for hardship grants, which could reduce the pressure on you. And your eldest might be eligible for more disability support depending on circumstances. You might also qualify for council tax or energy support without realising it.

Would I personally do OnlyFans? Probably not, mainly because once something goes online, there is no undoing it. But I am not living your situation, and when someone is under financial pressure, survival choices look very different. Whatever you decide, make sure it protects your privacy, your mental wellbeing, and the stability of your family.

Kids at uni need to find some sort of employment, the majority do. Being kept by mum is a luxury you can't afford. Can you get a weekend job? Anything to boost your income and maintain your dignity.

This is the best reply to OP that I've seen as of yet 🙌🏻

She said they all have jobs

I dont have an attitude im just desperate. I worked so hard to het my degree as a single parent and now earn over the average. When i started out the idea of earning £40k would change my life, it was a higher salary then i ever dreamed id be able to earn. I left a marriage with nothing, not a penny. No home. No belonging. Just me and the kids. I’ve worked so hard to get to where i am in this career. But its meaningless. That £40k i dreamed of earning doesnt give me or my family the life i expected. Every day is a struggle of making sure i have food and electric for the next day. Changing sectors after working myself to the bone is not an option. I cant start again. I have nothing but the degree for the job im doing. No other experiences. No other qualifications.

your comment without knowing the story of what led me to this point in my career is insensitive.

@Daydreamnotbelievercan I check you are applying for everything you can? You mention your eldest needs support - has he applied for pip?

If your boyfriend is prepared to put in the work of being your pimp, would he not also consider being your taxi driver and dropping you off at somewhere you could get bar work?
I really struggle to believe this is your only option.

Have you had an honest conversation with your grown up children about money?

I work 1/4 weekends, and its not the same weekend every month. So a weekend job is unlikely as i dont think they would understand i can only do 3/4 and have to change which 3

It’s a crap situation to be in. The hard reality is that you are really unlikely to make helpful money from only fans though, sharing the money with some
dirty pimp basically, not showing your face, have you even got a social media following? Then the realities of making pennies and the risk your kids and their friends may come across you, because even without your face they’d recognise your voice and potentially you. Have you looked into things liked match betting? I couldn’t wrap my brain around it but that could provide a little supplementary income if you can do it. I do online surveys for vouchers to help with bits like Christmas etc.

We tried but he was rejected. He is able to go out alone, wash dress cook himself etc. He just burns out quickly. He had a full time role previously but he struggled so much he self harmed to the extent he ended up in hospital with a serious infection. Part time is best for his health, but hes not so unwell he was able to get pip

...why should she not come back here, exactly?

What if your work colleagues find your only fans though? You will never be taken seriously ever again.

Agency work could work, so could care work, some retail and bar jobs would go for it if you got lucky. It’s worth keeping an eye out just incase. Not suggesting it’d be easy to find something but these jobs do exist

Only Fans definitely not a good idea for all the reasons already mentioned

@Daydreamnotbeliever I get that money is tight and your income is currently fixed (you don't think you could get a higher paying job or a second job)

But you've not mentioned outgoings. Have you gone over your spending with a fine tooth comb to look where reductions could be made in your outgoings? A good place to start would be looking at food costs.

There are loads of useful ideas on the Money Makeover on MSE : https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/