To consider Only Fans

[Daydreamnotbeliever]

So for background im a single parent of 3. 2 uni age kids, one older but has additional needs. All 3 live with me still. Im supporting all 3 more or less full. Their father is no contact and has been for over a decade.

I work full time and earn a salary of £40k. Which on paper is ok. In reality, more or less funding 4 adults, not so much. The kids contribute what they can. They pay for their own items. My eldest works part time which is about as much as he can manage. But its not enough. My wage doesnt stretch far enough. I run out of money every month. Theres rent bills heating food etc all falls on me and i cant survive. Theres no luxuries. No fun. No anything. When they move out ill manage but at the minute its impossible. And i cant expect them to contribute more. The eldest doesnt have the capacity and the other two need uni to be the priority they are both doing courses that are intense and do a lot of work outside of lectures.

Im single. However. I have a friend who i hook up with. Its safe. Hes safe. But i have no desire to live with someone and share a life. We date, kinda, go out for drinks sometimes or the cinema, hook up, and have fun.

The idea is he manages an account i make. He makes vids, edits, promotes, markets etc. I do the chats, conversations etc in the eve. We split anything earned, more to me. My suggestion not his. All my idea.

i know its not guaranteed money, infact the opposite, it takes a lot of effort to make something. He has the time to market etc. i dont. It would be faceless. I wouldnt put my face out there. But pretty much anything else goes.

I just cant manage at the minute. Earning more in my role is impossible at the moment. Theres no second jobs i can do. No local bar work. I dont drive. I have no “talents” for an etsy side hustle. I dont have the money to buy equipment to start a printing side hustle or something. I dont have the time for much around my job at the moment. Theres just not other way to make money. Im out of idea and i need to make a few hundred a month to keep my head above water now im funding 4 adults alone pretty much.

The concern is obviously my kids, even though they are all adults. We are a pretty liberal open family and discuss anything and everything. Id probably tell them, but its still a worry.

Would you do it? Could you do it? Have you done it? Can you suggest an alternative?

Not necessarily true.

I’m a manager, and last year Instagram recommended that I follow one of my team - except it was just pictures of her arse. Her OF account was linked at the top (I did not click 😂).

I had a conversation with her about privacy settings and maybe blocking her colleagues (and kids!) from it, but other than that - what she does with her own body and her own time is none of my business.

What a shitty situation - and I bet a very common one these days. I'm sorry you are so squeezed OP, when it sounds like you have done everything "right".

It doesn't sound like OF would be worth it - it's a big risk to your self esteem / relationship with your children / maybe even future employability - and it would be awful to put all of that on the line and have it blow up for just a few quid.

You mentioned that you didn't get through the initial assessment rounds for the document typing work you'd like to do. What would it take to improve your skills there? Would a few weekends spent really intensively practicing typing etc let you try for it again?

You don't drive, but is there any way to get public transport to a larger town for an evening job a couple of times a week? I also wouldn't rule out weekend work even though you can't do every weekend - some businesses might like an extra person they can call up for ad hoc cover when they need it - particularly in the busy run up to Christmas. Are local pubs needing extra help?

And are you being really frank with your kids - do they have any expenditure they can cut back on. Totally appreciate you need their education to come first, but they also need to live in the reality that money is very tight. Eg - you shouldn't be under any pressure at all for Xmas presents etc this year. How long do the kids in uni have left?

The ignorance of MN high earners is astounding sometimes. Not everyone has the same earning potential, £40k is a good salary to most and the best they can achieve.
OP, I would hold out a couple of years and just put up with being skint until the kids leave. So many people do Only Fans, the chances of it taking off, especially faceless, probably aren't that great. It could be something you live to regret and get no gains from. I'd also be wary of this man you're sleeping with editing, he will have the full videos with the face. If you were to go into this you need to be comfortable with the risk of your face being exposed. Even if you trust this man, data can be stolen. I wouldn't 100% trust anyone with that content.

Op you're in a really tough position, I agree with others that OF isn't going to help. The minority that do make money on it are those that create faux relationships with regular subscribers, so their face and their personality (at least, what they choose to portray) is essential.

I appreciate you are already working a lot of hours, but if you were open to bank work have you looked into whether there are any organisations that run children's homes near you? The experience you've got as a parent and as a SEN parent would help a lot, you do have to do some qualifications usually but they are usually offered through the company and are free or discounted, and quite straightforward (basic health and safety, safeguarding etc) I used to do the odd weekend night shift to top up my wages. Waking night shifts paid well, I didn't bother with sleep ins as the money was crap but also because if you're supporting teens who have been through trauma the likelihood it actually being a 'sleep in' was fairly remote!

BTW I don't think you're being unreasonable to consider OF, but I don't think a faceless older woman without a big Instagram following will make any money and the downsides of trying and failing are too big. I don't think it's workable.

I do understand your predicament and it isn't as easy as 'get a second job' these are few and far between in a lot of locations. I think the only solution is to be frank with the kids about the money situation and work together to cut costs and get financial contributions from them.

Well they aren’t parents so that won’t happen anyway. They will still have someone else supporting them and worrying about the mental load

It is admiral to want to make Uni easy for your kids but it is a luxury belief you cannot afford, which is why you are posting here in the first place.
If you want to do OF, go ahead. But imagine your kids find out and they turn round and ask you why didn’t you tell them
about the family’s financial position before resorting to prostitution? How would you answer that?

Would you be willing to list a breakdown of your expenditure on here and people may be able to suggest ways to reduce this, rather than increasing your income?

For example if you have any debt repayments that are crippling you, would you consider going into a debt repayment program with Payplan or Stepchange?

How much do you expect to make from a faceless account?

This. I’m sorry you find yourself in this position op. But once it’s done, that’s it. And you will regret it. You could never undo the shame if everyone knew about it. You need to sit down with the adult kids and lay all the finances on the table.

I tried something similar about 10 years ago. Very low key, no nudity, but I don't want to go into any detail.

I made a bit of cash but nothing that really made a big difference. I was too scared to do too much at the end of the day, or I may have been able to earn more. It's not as easy as you think. It does your head in. And the way some men think they can speak to you. Just, no.

I had a very bodyguard-looking male friend about 14 years ago and he suggested (it was my original idea) me doing stuff for money, while he guarded the door/waited in the car outside, but I said no.

It might be worth your kids at uni checking if they can access any type of hardship funds.

I cannot believe the people on here saying - it’s simple, just get a higher paid job! Honestly, some people don’t have a grip on reality! If it was really that easy, surely everyone would be in higher paid jobs?!

I honestly don’t know in what reality some posters are on. The threads where they tell women their husbands should contribute more and state with ease, well he should get a higher paying job. I cringe.

Are they contributing anything at all though? If each one of them even put £20 weekly towards the household, it would help you massively.

I 100% understand your pain, you want them to have the same experience as children with more privileged backgrounds, but at some point we have to admit to ourselves their experience is simply just different.

I ended up sitting down with DD and explaining that turns out I simply can’t afford everything on my wage. She decided to do uni from home so effectively I have an adult at home using all utilities and food 24/7. It wasn’t an easy conversation and I am still giving her a very easy ride considering our circumstances, but 20 weekly for your children would be nothing. Talk to them.

i wouldn’t tell the kids even if you do go down that route. could you try buying and re selling first x

This.

Many people do not realise that ie if you have a phone you can switch your sim to someone like Lebara for £5 a month and still get the same coverage and loads of data etc.

Also, stop watching live TV. If you do and you can give up the iPlayer, you don't need a TV licence. Everything on the other channels can be watched for free on their digital platforms

Don't set yourself on fire to keep your adult children warm

Am I missing something ? I thought majority of OFs were quite young, like Bonnie blue
So In the nicest way possible , I highly doubt a mother with grown up children has a very a good chance at bringing in loads of £££. what is it that you can offer that other younger and prettier can’t? I don’t mean to be hard but I think you should be more realistic.
if content creation is what you are after there are so many other options, that don’t involve OF

As plenty of others have said making money from OF is pretty brutal as its a saturated market that requires 'creators' to indulge in ever more extreme acts / niche fetishes in order to get financial traction. People would want to see your face as well at which point you run the extreme risk of being identified by your workplace or your cchildren. I also imagine you have to have an exceptionally strong mental constitution to do this kind of stuff without it taking you to some dark places.

Your kids won’t be at uni forever, you just have to get through the next three years or so. Only Fans isn’t a magical earner if you don’t show your face and are splitting anything you earn with your FWB and there are risks of people finding out and you risk your FWB using your images/ videos in ways you didn’t agree. Once you’ve given him your photos do you really 100% trust he won’t put them on other sites behind your back to earn extra cash?

Honestly to get through the next 3 years I would be looking at where you can cut back, you say you have no fun money but also say you go out to cinema and for drinks with the FWB so you obviously do have fun money! I bet if you posted your monthly outgoings here there are plenty of things you could cut back on, eg: TV subscriptions, branded foods or ways to save by changing broadband/ electricity supplier etc. Are your children paying for everything themselves or do you still have things like phone contracts or gym membership etc in their name? Make sure you’re not subsiding your grown up children for things they should be budgeting for themselves!

If food bills are your biggest issue then really look at what you’re buying and how you can save by switching supermarket or brands or types of meals. Ensure you are only buying food for 3x main meals, your grown up children can buy their own snacks with what they are earning. Same for toiletries, swap to basics toiletries and make sure your kids are buying their own not taking yours! All these things make far more sense than resorting to Only Fans, yes it will be miserable for the next couple of years to not be able to have luxuries and to cut back on drinks/ cinema etc with FWB but it’s only for 3 years until your kids are done with uni.

Given how men's tastes generally work, the average age of the rare successful OF model is probably about 20. A woman old enough to have three adult children just isn't going to cut it.

I would of thought they are eligible for the full amount of maintenance loan which is about £9,600ish per annum (well it was for me). I cant remember what the total household earning threshold is to qualify for that amount though but every student is definitely entitled to about 5k automatically im sure which means they could be contributing food/electricity money at least to take the burden off you?

Just wanted to say that some of the comments on here are pretty harsh. You have my sympathy, OP. It sounds like you are working so hard to support your family.

I wonder whether you could sell things on Vinted to make a bit of extra cash? I didn’t think I’d make anything doing that, but between myself and my husband, we’ve made a tidy amount over the last year (selling DVDs, books, clothes, old games) Maybe look into local food banks or local schemes that aim to stop food waste by giving away food, maybe you could look at call centre type roles to work from home a few evenings a week, or maybe something like social
media monitoring/answering messages, comments etc?

But having said all that, if you decide you want to try OF, then of course, that’s entirely up to you. Don’t let other people’s judgey attitudes stop you from doing what you want.

@Daydreamnotbeliever what is your degree in? Could you do some kinda tutoring? What about cleaning houses?