To consider Only Fans

[Daydreamnotbeliever]

So for background im a single parent of 3. 2 uni age kids, one older but has additional needs. All 3 live with me still. Im supporting all 3 more or less full. Their father is no contact and has been for over a decade.

I work full time and earn a salary of £40k. Which on paper is ok. In reality, more or less funding 4 adults, not so much. The kids contribute what they can. They pay for their own items. My eldest works part time which is about as much as he can manage. But its not enough. My wage doesnt stretch far enough. I run out of money every month. Theres rent bills heating food etc all falls on me and i cant survive. Theres no luxuries. No fun. No anything. When they move out ill manage but at the minute its impossible. And i cant expect them to contribute more. The eldest doesnt have the capacity and the other two need uni to be the priority they are both doing courses that are intense and do a lot of work outside of lectures.

Im single. However. I have a friend who i hook up with. Its safe. Hes safe. But i have no desire to live with someone and share a life. We date, kinda, go out for drinks sometimes or the cinema, hook up, and have fun.

The idea is he manages an account i make. He makes vids, edits, promotes, markets etc. I do the chats, conversations etc in the eve. We split anything earned, more to me. My suggestion not his. All my idea.

i know its not guaranteed money, infact the opposite, it takes a lot of effort to make something. He has the time to market etc. i dont. It would be faceless. I wouldnt put my face out there. But pretty much anything else goes.

I just cant manage at the minute. Earning more in my role is impossible at the moment. Theres no second jobs i can do. No local bar work. I dont drive. I have no “talents” for an etsy side hustle. I dont have the money to buy equipment to start a printing side hustle or something. I dont have the time for much around my job at the moment. Theres just not other way to make money. Im out of idea and i need to make a few hundred a month to keep my head above water now im funding 4 adults alone pretty much.

The concern is obviously my kids, even though they are all adults. We are a pretty liberal open family and discuss anything and everything. Id probably tell them, but its still a worry.

Would you do it? Could you do it? Have you done it? Can you suggest an alternative?

Christ a lot of Judge Judys in these comments 😒 I would do a lot of research before you do this. I wouldn't go in with someone else cos that defeats the object of making money. If you are unsure could you do YouTube instead? I know how hard it is to be a single parent, and to my mind you are earning a decent salary. Ignore the rude idiots.

Could you join the nhs bank as an administrator and be prepared to do A&E or ward receptionist jobs at a weekend or evening? Or at a private hospital because they tend to need people at evenings or weekends?

Is your eldest getting ESA or universal credit if he’s unable to work full time? If he is could you ask him to contribute towards food/bills?

OP - do you have a driveway you could possibly rent out?

Some people don't understand. There are quite a few smug sneery comments that I don't like here. I have never received a penny from my daughters father either. A complete waste of space. I've only got one child though- I really dont know how others manage with more. Its an absolute disgrace that so many men get away with not financially supporting the children they helped produce. Why dont we talk about that??

She'll be better off becoming a plumber or a gas engineer. There is so many other ways of making money. She could learn about property that's lucrative. How do people earn on YouTube?

MyAmusedOpalCrab: "Just don’t come back here and post when it backfires."

I have the reverse suggestion. Please DO post after a few months. It would be educational for others considering OF "to make some money".

(I personally, have never viewed OF, and never would. It sounds depraved.)

I have nothing against OF. But I wouldn’t do it as a mother. The risk is always there that they find out, or their mates do. And no money is worth that fall out or pain. It only takes one post somewhere, one slip up of an online footprint connection, and your secret is out.

Your situation is real and painful. You are carrying the financial weight of four adults on a single salary, and you are doing it while your ex contributes nothing. Anyone who reads your post can see you are not looking for indulgence. You are looking for survival.

OnlyFans may look like an easy valve release, but people tend to underestimate the long horizon risk. Income is uncertain, privacy control is fragile, and digital material has a habit of escaping the container you place it in. Even a faceless account can be traced through patterns. A stranger with enough time, obsession, or spite can match tattoos, furniture, carpet patterns, window frames, birthmarks, and so on. It does not matter how careful you are. The platform is built on a promise of anonymity that has failed many users.

You also give a man managerial control over your content. He may be trustworthy, yet trust becomes complicated once money and intimate material are involved. Power dynamics shift in ways that hurt friendships. Courts do not handle this type of dispute well. Once the material exists the leverage is permanent.

You asked for alternatives. Here are the ones that tend to work in the real world.

A university usually has hardship grants for students. Your two younger ones should speak with their departments now. They can secure assistance for transport, food, books, utilities, printing, and equipment. Many parents never hear about these programs because students assume they would not qualify. They do.

Your older child with additional needs may qualify for disability support or an enhanced benefit, depending on the diagnosis and functional limits. That can reduce your burden.

A forty thousand salary in the current economy places you in the zone where targeted credits or housing support may apply once all dependents are counted. A benefits calculator can confirm this in minutes.

You also have the option of shifting the household budget through temporary house sharing. A student or a professional commuter can rent a room for a modest sum. That does not require you to drive or invest in new equipment. A reliable tenant can cover the shortfall without changing your personal life.

Your children are adults. Liberal family or not, they do not need to live with the knowledge that their mother turned to adult content to keep the lights on. They may say they are comfortable, yet the emotional cost can surface years later. You deserve a path that does not create that future tension.

You are resourceful. You are already managing a large household on a tight salary. Your problem is structural, not personal failure. The safer path is the one that strengthens your household rather than gambles with your long term privacy.

A crisis like yours has a way of opening narrow doors. It can feel unfair, yet it can also lead to institutional support that should have been in place already.

I don't think the OP is the one being combative, she's just coming back and answering your questions. If it was so easy to change sectors or just get a higher paid job, we'd all be sorted wouldn't we.

Thank you for your articulate, thoughtful and useful reply.

@Marseycat what you suggest seems so wise and helpful.

You are not going to make money on onlyfans, op, so you need to come up with another plan.

This is what I would do. Obviously the weekend work in your permanent role needs to come first but definitely look into signing up for / applying for other part time roles such as these.

My husband once had a job proof reading university students papers (particularly those for who english was a second language). As long as you had a degree, you qualify. It would be flexible work so it could be good.

First of all, good on you for supporting your children so much through university. Hopefully being able to focus more on their studies because they don't have to work full time as well will set them up well for the future.

If you think you only need to make an extra couple of hundred a month, have you considered offering a service locally, such as ironing (easy in the evening as you're watching tv), lawn mowing, etc. Someone in my area has set up a service targeted at helping new parents - a couple of hours a week doing whatever is needed - picking up groceries, meal prep, even just holding the baby so mum can have a shower! It won't bring in a huge amount of money, but could help a little.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck!

@Daydreamnotbeliever

You have a good income and are clearly doing well (no apparent debt, supporting children in Uni). Its rough at the moment because you have a huge amount of adult dependents, but you are able to go out to the cinema etc..

My concerns are

1. No guaranteed income
2. Those pictures are there forever
3. There is no reason too.

I think in reality that you need to have a hard word with your kids. They can all pitch in to some degree even 100GBP a week collectively would be hugely helpful- 2 shifts at a bar a week is completely achievable for university students. I also think casual supermarket/store work 2 times a week over three months will bring in more income than OF.

Did you only start thinking this was an option when you started dating this guy? It sounds like he has been suggesting it even in non-verbals ways (looking on his phone, sharing income people make). Where you actually feeling OK about money until he came on the scene?

Have a break from this guy and see how you actually feel about money when he is not around.

Try Olio for free food..helped me out big time whilst struggling

Babysitting pays £15 per hour where I live, I would do that first tbh.

Op, you could think of a YouTube channel. It is possible to earn quite well from it as long as you have a good theme, not wandering across too wide a topic area, and you upload consistent videos with a serious intent to start earning within three months. It is not as difficult to earn as people make out on the channel.

Regarding your boy who has no capacity to earn and who has additional needs, he could be eligible to take part in Shared Lives (look this up) which is an amazing scheme placing adults who need extra help into homes with people who can give them that help. The funding is provided to the carers to allow them to care for these individuals, most with learning difficulties.

I am a Shared Lives carer as well as a YouTube earner, and I also have a professional fulltime job. If you had your son in someone's care within Shared Lives, he would have more sense of independence and you see him whenever you want. But the financial cost of caring for him is then out of your hands so that when you do spend time together, it is all about fun and enjoyment.

All these people telling you to walk into a higher paying job are ridiculous. Wouldn't it be wonderful to just walk into a 60k job in a different sector to their degree and experience 🙈 OP if you WANT to do onlyfans because you would enjoy making content then do. But realistically it's unlikely to be nearly as profitable as you are hopingespeciallyif you are splittingthe cost. I do think the 2 kids at uni need to start contributing towards their food at least. Most uni students get enough free time to be earning. I know you said they do work pt but it sounds like they are using that money on "fun" stuff. If they had moved to go to uni they would have to buy their own food ect. They are old enough to start learning how to look after themselves and its really important they do. Don't get driven in to sex work because you want to make their lives more comfortable. It isn't helpful for them and it's one thing to be posting content because you enjoy making it and get a bit of cash out of it, its another to be doing it out of desperation. You may soon find yourself doing things you really aren't comfortable with to get money. There is no shame asking your children to contribute.

I don't think you'd make much money at your age OP, unless you do really demeaning things. Sign up with agencies to do as and when stuff like events, catering, stewarding etc. And get your dc to too. Working while at uni is the norm, it's often part of your social life if you work in a pub or club for eg.

4 adults to feed is a lot, food is so expensive now. Your uni student kids really need to work more and contribute considerably to that. My daughter went away to uni, her loan wasn’t enough to fund everything she needed, I couldn’t afford to support her consistently every month so she worked, then when her student loan dropped the next year due to my husbands income being taken into account (he isn’t her Dad and already had his own kids to support so couldn’t/shouldn’t have to help her) she negotiated with the uni to go in 3 days a week and work as an Agency Teaching Assistant, it was about £100 a day and meant she could then support herself while gaining lots of experience. She still graduated with a first and the Dean’s prize for student excellence so it can be done m. Don’t feel bad about asking them to step up.

Your adult child who is not working needs to claim Universal Credit.

Then also be assessed for his ability to work, it might be that he has limited capability to work.

Suggest he applies for PIP again with help of an expert agency like Citizens Advice.

You should also use a benefit calculator to check what you might be able to claim - Entitled To is a good website.

Your children should be taking it in turns to buy the household groceries. You shouldn't be buying food for 4 adults on your wage - you don't earn enough for that.