To consider Only Fans

[Daydreamnotbeliever]

So for background im a single parent of 3. 2 uni age kids, one older but has additional needs. All 3 live with me still. Im supporting all 3 more or less full. Their father is no contact and has been for over a decade.

I work full time and earn a salary of £40k. Which on paper is ok. In reality, more or less funding 4 adults, not so much. The kids contribute what they can. They pay for their own items. My eldest works part time which is about as much as he can manage. But its not enough. My wage doesnt stretch far enough. I run out of money every month. Theres rent bills heating food etc all falls on me and i cant survive. Theres no luxuries. No fun. No anything. When they move out ill manage but at the minute its impossible. And i cant expect them to contribute more. The eldest doesnt have the capacity and the other two need uni to be the priority they are both doing courses that are intense and do a lot of work outside of lectures.

Im single. However. I have a friend who i hook up with. Its safe. Hes safe. But i have no desire to live with someone and share a life. We date, kinda, go out for drinks sometimes or the cinema, hook up, and have fun.

The idea is he manages an account i make. He makes vids, edits, promotes, markets etc. I do the chats, conversations etc in the eve. We split anything earned, more to me. My suggestion not his. All my idea.

i know its not guaranteed money, infact the opposite, it takes a lot of effort to make something. He has the time to market etc. i dont. It would be faceless. I wouldnt put my face out there. But pretty much anything else goes.

I just cant manage at the minute. Earning more in my role is impossible at the moment. Theres no second jobs i can do. No local bar work. I dont drive. I have no “talents” for an etsy side hustle. I dont have the money to buy equipment to start a printing side hustle or something. I dont have the time for much around my job at the moment. Theres just not other way to make money. Im out of idea and i need to make a few hundred a month to keep my head above water now im funding 4 adults alone pretty much.

The concern is obviously my kids, even though they are all adults. We are a pretty liberal open family and discuss anything and everything. Id probably tell them, but its still a worry.

Would you do it? Could you do it? Have you done it? Can you suggest an alternative?

I love how people think it’s so easy. Delusion. It’s a HIGHLY saturated market and in order to make money you have to be all over socials marketing yourself as well as chatting to grotesque males regularly. Faceless will earn you NOTHING. You need a more realistic plan as unless you have something very different to offer or you are very young and gorgeous you are being completely unrealistic quite frankly

I make £100 a month at least selling on Vinted - you must have so much stuff around with 4 adults. It would take just as long if not more to try and sell stuff and market it via social media. You don’t have to pay tax on that money either, whereas additional income from OF is more complicated especially as you have a £40k. Other options: copywriting, virtual assistant, drop shopping.

Just looking at this logically, surely 3 adult kids working part time and 2 of them with small uni loans as well could be covering the food shop between them. At £600 a month say, which in my mind is do-able for 4 adults (admittedly not loads of luxuries all the time) that would be £200 each? Which in real terms is super cheap to essentially include rent, bills and food???
That way your money could do rent, council tax, utilities and I’m sure a little ‘fun’ money and a little bit of savings?
I think you’re supporting them too much, when it’s just not tenable and grown up kids need to pay their way if you’re not on £80k to sustain it all. £200 is soooo cheap for what they’re getting, but would make a massive difference to you.
put that in place before even considering only fans and be brutally honest with them that you can’t continue as you are

Just want to say O.P, first off you should be really proud that your three kids are clearly doing well in life, working/at uni. Well done.

Secondly, look at PIP again if you can for your eldest. Many are turned down the first time. I know the paperwork is a bloody pain but worth it in the long run.

Finally, I don't know anything about Only Fans but sounds like you wouldn't be able to make much from it. If you did do it, I wouldn't tell your kids. What about a cleaning job? You can make decent money and be flexible or possibly dog walking or doggy day care the odd weekend...

It’s not easy to find higher paying jobs! If you have a secret method, let me know!

I think you need to be realistic with your DC OP. You can't shield them from reality, it won't help them when they finally move out. They need to be contributing to the rent, bills, food shop etc as they would if they were in halls/student shared house etc. the majority of their peers will be working alongside their course in order to pay for these things. Yes living at home gives them a slight advantage in terms of not paying the extortionate fees aimed at student housing, but you are struggling to keep the lights on and everyone fed. They need to understand that and help. If they have no personal expenses beyond their social life, at least 70% of their wage needs to be plowed into the home.

I would call a family meeting and lay your financial situation on the line to all your kids, explain you all have to figure out a way to, say, make another $100 a month each. This should be a family effort. If you all had a much smaller amount to find it should be easier, brainstorm together but please keep OF and sex work off the table. I am in the USA but my three young adult kids are very resourceful. I really think your kids would be absolutely devastated to think you are considering OF rather than turning to them. Another $25 a week each is not much and maybe you can all do some ruthless budgeting. They are adults and they need to know the reality; you CANNOT be the one responsible for providing for 4 healthy adults - 3 of whom are young and don’t have kids or other responsibilities. This is also a temporary situation just to get everyone through college. In fact as the older ones graduate maybe they can throw a little more in the kitty to help those still in college. My two young adult daughters both made money on Depop selling second hand clothes, doing a bit of babysitting etc. My son does DoorDash (I am in the states) and mows lawns and does some tasks for elderly neighbors.

Cross posted with @Sausagedognamedmash. This is a family emergency and the solution should be a joint one.

I'm not being funny but, when I was at university I paid my own way. I paid rent and bought my own food. Why aren't they doing the same?

I don’t know what area you are in but most major cities have food redistribution charities or food banks which can remove some of the pressure.
You can speak to your GP about a referral in your situation - you may even be able to get help with the electricity via this route. Look into batch cooking where you can which will make food go further.
steer well clear of only fans - very few make and money and it could just ruin your life.
You have achieved so much as a single mum, hold your head high.

You could do cleaning, being a nanny/sitter or baking/cooking? Older people often like home cooked meals, you could try that. Or you could clean a few houses on the weekends. Gardening could be an option in the summer? Or offer to watch kids while parents go out for a meal etc. There are always options if you want to find work.

Only fans is an MLM.

you are way too late to get into the top tier of the pyramid scheme so would only earn peanuts.

and faceless accounts aren’t popular* because the appeal of OF (as opposed to normal porn) is the viewer has a pseudo personal relationship with the content creator.

*unless it’s something super niche in which case you will have an audience of men with paraphilias (who most women would seek to avoid as much as possible).

Anyway, leaving the practicalities of actually making money from OF aside, participating in the sex industry is largely a soul destroying experience, it sucks in women with low self worth and spits them back out with even less.

Those who are drawn to the various forms of sex work are often already vulnerable (due to past trauma) and it can be very hard to see the harm of these pernicious and exploitative systems in the round until the benefit of hindsight kicks in, by which point you cannot undo what’s done.

This ^

If you get involved with OF you will become a pimped out puppet and your pimps will be your subscribers.

You will become sucked into providing more and more extreme/fetish content in order to keep them happy.

No amount of money is worth compromising your self-respect for.

Can you work for yourself or reskill? You'll get a lot more money.

OP, think about the moral of your own tale: if something is so important to you, it's worth the blood, sweat and tears to get there. Your kids need that same tenacity.

Of course you want more for your kids and for them not to struggle, we all do, but the reality of your sitatuation is that they can't just focus on their studies and get away with working a few hours a week. If they really want their degrees, they're going to have to make this work and that means spending morectime in paid employment.

Or alternatively, they eat less or more cheaply.

What were the five jobs?

There is so much effort that you have to put in OF. Especially today as the novelty has worn off and its super competitive. The fact you don't want to show your face will mean less traffic for sure. I would rather go to a food bank than degrade myself for a bit of extra pin money.

Agree.

Yes, that's what most students do! I think people keep pointing out the obvious solution- the kids contribute.

When you work for someone else they control how much you earn and when you can start and clock off. I hope you do consider working for yourself. Earning a degree opens up your mind but you should not stop learning new skills. The fact that you are learned person means you can progress onto new careers that isn't related to your degree. You have to be brave to make the change.

I'm not sure she can get a referral to a foodbank in these circumstances. Just ask her children for household contributions.

If my mother was so desperate as to turn to OF, I'd work all hours to prevent that. Your kids would be so upset to think you debased yourself so they can have a social life.

Don't do it.
It's a bad idea.
Look at your budget carefully.
Yes, 40k is not luxury, but where is the money going exactly?
Do you have very high rent/mortgage costs?
Are you giving money to the kids?
Like you said on paper the money isn't too bad so what's happening?
What unnecessary expenditure can you cut out that will make a difference? Or do you just want to be able to eat out a lot and be able to buy stuff without looking at the price?

I would also advice you to get professional advice for your eldest, they might able to get pip, go to the citizens advice bureau, he sounds like he could get it but maybe you need help with forms.

Please read OP

https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/real-life/is-onlyfans-safe-uk/

You need to realise that your children are now adults, you no longer have to provide for all their needs. They need to be able to pull together and work on the family finances too. Be upfront and honest with them.

It’s the next few years you need to get through, this isn’t forever. Until they get through uni and find a full time job.

Certainly, even if you found OF successful for you….ifs not a long term career and may have an impact on your current career. It’s not worth it.