To consider Only Fans

[Daydreamnotbeliever]

So for background im a single parent of 3. 2 uni age kids, one older but has additional needs. All 3 live with me still. Im supporting all 3 more or less full. Their father is no contact and has been for over a decade.

I work full time and earn a salary of £40k. Which on paper is ok. In reality, more or less funding 4 adults, not so much. The kids contribute what they can. They pay for their own items. My eldest works part time which is about as much as he can manage. But its not enough. My wage doesnt stretch far enough. I run out of money every month. Theres rent bills heating food etc all falls on me and i cant survive. Theres no luxuries. No fun. No anything. When they move out ill manage but at the minute its impossible. And i cant expect them to contribute more. The eldest doesnt have the capacity and the other two need uni to be the priority they are both doing courses that are intense and do a lot of work outside of lectures.

Im single. However. I have a friend who i hook up with. Its safe. Hes safe. But i have no desire to live with someone and share a life. We date, kinda, go out for drinks sometimes or the cinema, hook up, and have fun.

The idea is he manages an account i make. He makes vids, edits, promotes, markets etc. I do the chats, conversations etc in the eve. We split anything earned, more to me. My suggestion not his. All my idea.

i know its not guaranteed money, infact the opposite, it takes a lot of effort to make something. He has the time to market etc. i dont. It would be faceless. I wouldnt put my face out there. But pretty much anything else goes.

I just cant manage at the minute. Earning more in my role is impossible at the moment. Theres no second jobs i can do. No local bar work. I dont drive. I have no “talents” for an etsy side hustle. I dont have the money to buy equipment to start a printing side hustle or something. I dont have the time for much around my job at the moment. Theres just not other way to make money. Im out of idea and i need to make a few hundred a month to keep my head above water now im funding 4 adults alone pretty much.

The concern is obviously my kids, even though they are all adults. We are a pretty liberal open family and discuss anything and everything. Id probably tell them, but its still a worry.

Would you do it? Could you do it? Have you done it? Can you suggest an alternative?

yes because everyone can just
do that.

How would you feel about doing housekeeping? It is hard to find a reliable and trustworthy cleaning lady, so if you don't mind doing that, it could be an okay option.

I would recommend to stay away from OF because 1) most likely you won't earn much or anything at all 2) you boyfriend will have a lot of control over you due to him owning all the images 3) people might find out and you have kids.

Only thing I know about OF is Stacey from eastenders and that didn’t go well and Katie Price

do all subscribers see everything or is it individual chats/videos for everyone?

if individual that’s a lot of work

First, I just want to say that you are a wonderful and hardworking mum.

I would never consider doing such work; it would be an embarrassment.

If you join such a platform, it could lead to a loss of respect and reputation from others, especially from your children. Don’t do something you might regret later; set a positive example for your children as you are a role model to them.

Great suggestions about alternative jobs from people here.

There are opportunities out there; you just have to find the right connections, recruitment job agencies, and trustworthy companies that offer part-time work from home. I had a friend who used to do market research at home, on her own hours.
With this busy season, retail, online customer service, etc., are looking for additional staff. If you have teaching skills or some experience, what about becoming an examiner or an online tutor?

I hope you find something that works for you x

I hear you about wanting your kids to have a uni experience you didn’t but you’re projecting. It sounds like you’ve been an incredible mum - raising four kids, putting kids through uni as a single parent. A degree, a good job. You should be really proud. Your kids will look back and marvel at what you achieved for them!

But you need to live in your reality and let your kids help you - I say kids but they are young adults. Taking in more work alongside uni is completely normal. Yes, in an ideal world they’d only focus on their studies but that’s not the situation and for the very good reasons you’ve explained, there are very few options to increase household earnings. But you have two adults who are capable of working a little bit more and really easing the pressure. Let them step up. Let them do something that helps make a huge difference to your life.

I have no judgement about OF - just that you won’t make any money. And IMAGINE if the kids found out later on that the choice was them taking on some extra bar work or you having sex on screen for money, risking your emotional wellbeing. They would think you were insane, surely!

.

Their loans won’t cover housing costs - they basically never do, this is why parents end up spending so much on their uni age kids. So she’s saving money by having them live at home. But yes they should be contributing to food and bills from PT paid jobs - as they would have to of living in halls/rented housing.

Reality is faceless OF doesn't pay much there is just so much competition. If you can find a great niche then maybe. Probably make more from escort work.

Could you take a lodger / host a foreign student? Your kids could share a room? Not ideal but would be at least £100 pw

I guarantee, your kids would rather work and contribute more than having their mum on only fans so they can fully enjoy their uni experience. Even over taking a second job tbh. I never went to uni but I helped support the household at 18 when my mum was severely ill. I don’t regret it at all and I cannot imagine the deep shame I’d feel to this day at the thought of her having to do sex work so I could fully focus on uni which from what my friends told me largely consists of going out, getting pissed and lying in bed until the next lecture.

I think you need cash in hand work.

What about babysitting? Evenings or weekend? I know you work 1/4 weekends - but you could do on the other weekends. Build up local families.

Overnight with kids for someone who does nights?

Children's birthday parties. Face painting. Can get quite a lot of this if you are good- but do need cash for the kit.

What would you feel if one of your children did this, now or in the future?

@Daydreamnotbeliever If you are not working today, or on your next day off, take the day to see how you can reduce any outgoings (if there is anything left you can cut) and how you can reduce your food bill - if this is possible.

Then you need to ask your uni age kids to contribute to bills - even if it is £10/£20 per week, it will all help. Can they work another couple of hours a week?

Don't do OF - you won't make any money as it's saturated and the creators who make money are all young, it's degrading and can have future consequences. Your kids would not want you to do OF so they can have an easier time. What if it affected your current job? You would be better off getting another job with hourly pay - care work? Something with flexible hours?

Food bills - look at your receipts - is there anything that jumps out as being expensive? For fruit and vegetables - can you switch to cheaper ones? Think apples, bananas, oranges, carrots and cabbage instead of berries, salad leaves and broccolli. Frozen vegetables are cheap and as nutritious. Can you add in some cheaper meals for dinners? Things like dhal, vegetable curries, beans on cheese on toast etc.

Can you cut any outgoings? Any subscriptions? Change energy provider?

Money Saving Expert is good for ideas

MN has a cost of living section https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/cost_of_living

More ideas for for side hustles https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/cost_of_living/4656500-real-side-hustles-that-actually-work

For God's sake. Like its that easy? We don't even know what field she's in, plenty have an upper limit and it takes years (and more money) to retrain in something else with a higher salary. Nothing unskilled/requiring no experience pays over 40k a year.

OP, I don’t have anything to add except to put yourself in your kids’ place. I can’t imagine the guilt I’d feel if I knew my mum had chosen to pimp herself out to strangers online so that I could have some nights off at uni. I’d work every bloody night of the week to stop that happening. Your kids love you, and your two at university are both now adults. I know it’s not the advice most people would give but I’d have an honest conversation with them about how desperate you are and what you’re considering. You can all pitch in to fix this together.

Also, please, please listen to the other posters who point out that what most people earn from OF is a pittance. You’d be putting yourself online for eternity and getting zip back in return. It isn’t worth the life long cost, even if you say you won’t show your face.

The average income is £150 a month. That's not worth it.

The market is so oversaturated, every type of person and content already exists.

And it’s put out by people who are a lot more committed and experienced (eg. Doing requests; marketing across their social media; messaging 1-on-1).

Anyone joining now has nothing to offer, except maybe to curious acquaintances and colleagues.

That was a ChatGPT response, surely you could tell that? I wish there was some way for MN to ban them.

Nope. I couldn't tell at all. Probably because I've been accused of using AI before, even though I've literally never used it

I think you're amazing for having turned things around the way you have, and completely respect your desire to let your kids make the most of their uni experience without having to worry about money. I think it's boneheaded and insensitive the way people just keep banging on about making your kids pay more as the solution to the problem. Though not quite as boneheaded as "just get a higher paying job" 🙄

The thing that stands out for me is that one of your children will be finished their degree in one more year, and then in a position to be completely financially self sufficient (even if it means they have to take whatever job they can get rather than taking time to get one fitting their qualifications). From that point things surely start getting easier - a few years after that, the last one finishes and then you're basically just having to support yourself and semi-support the one that's struggling, You can surely do that on 40K.

So isn't the answer to take out debt to carry you over for the next year? Even if it takes you some time after that to gradually pay it back. Obviously it's something people bristle at, but this seems like a rare situation where it's justified and makes sense. Would a personal loan of 5K or so be just enough to tip the balance for this year, and get you over the hump?

It doesn't seem to make sense to think about desperate measures like OF to solve a problem that is so short term and temporary.

One giveaway was the inaccuracy. The AI missed that permanence of content means risk of future back-trailing (ironically, assisted by AI).

That and "renting out a cupboard"? Is that a thing?

I have nothing against OF tbh, I'm not going to do it but if someone chooses to then fine BUT I do have a friend of a friend who did it, she actually made a really good amount of money and enjoyed what she did, she has 3 children (all boys), at the time were 21, 17, 16 and did it for the reasons you sound like you are, she didn't tell them but a friend of the eldest found her videos, then the brother of the youngest friends did and suddenly everyone knew and the youngest 2 were bullied mercilessly by their mates and they HATED being the kids who's mum was "a porn star" (which is how they saw it), she quit soon after they made their feelings known but it has taken near enough 3 years to get their relationship back on track, they were incredibly upset by it and the eldest was extremely angry for a while and frankly, got in a ton of fights defending his mum.

Think very carefully bout your children.

“Get a higher paid job” doesn’t even count as advice. It’s just someone saying something stupid. For a lot of people, £40k is a higher paid job. It’s just that in reality it doesn’t go that far. I’m on a similar salary, and I don’t have a lot of money left over, and I’m not supporting 3 other adults. I also don’t have skills, qualifications or connections that would allow me to earn more. But when I went to uni I had to pay rent and buy my own food and pay for transport etc because I didn’t live at home and my parents couldn’t help me so I do think that your children could contribute more.

I would just shelve the whole OF idea. I know someone who earns a living this way so she knows a lot about it. You can’t make money if you won’t show your face, you can’t make money from your feet, people will always try to get things for free. The only way you can make money is by either already being famous, or by building up a loyal fan base over time. My friend works non stop, all hours of the day, gets up in the middle if the night to catch the American audience. Doesn’t take a day off. Even then, people will try to get your time for free, or ask you to do degrading or horrible things e.g. my friend was asked by a guy to racially abuse him. You also live in constant fear that people will find out. My friend bit the bullet and told everyone so that no one could blackmail her or have power over her. People she knows have looked up her page, she’s been gossiped about and judged. It can never just be a normal job, even when you do make money.

Is it really worth embarrasing yourself and your children by going on OnlyFans!?