To consider Only Fans

[Daydreamnotbeliever]

So for background im a single parent of 3. 2 uni age kids, one older but has additional needs. All 3 live with me still. Im supporting all 3 more or less full. Their father is no contact and has been for over a decade.

I work full time and earn a salary of £40k. Which on paper is ok. In reality, more or less funding 4 adults, not so much. The kids contribute what they can. They pay for their own items. My eldest works part time which is about as much as he can manage. But its not enough. My wage doesnt stretch far enough. I run out of money every month. Theres rent bills heating food etc all falls on me and i cant survive. Theres no luxuries. No fun. No anything. When they move out ill manage but at the minute its impossible. And i cant expect them to contribute more. The eldest doesnt have the capacity and the other two need uni to be the priority they are both doing courses that are intense and do a lot of work outside of lectures.

Im single. However. I have a friend who i hook up with. Its safe. Hes safe. But i have no desire to live with someone and share a life. We date, kinda, go out for drinks sometimes or the cinema, hook up, and have fun.

The idea is he manages an account i make. He makes vids, edits, promotes, markets etc. I do the chats, conversations etc in the eve. We split anything earned, more to me. My suggestion not his. All my idea.

i know its not guaranteed money, infact the opposite, it takes a lot of effort to make something. He has the time to market etc. i dont. It would be faceless. I wouldnt put my face out there. But pretty much anything else goes.

I just cant manage at the minute. Earning more in my role is impossible at the moment. Theres no second jobs i can do. No local bar work. I dont drive. I have no “talents” for an etsy side hustle. I dont have the money to buy equipment to start a printing side hustle or something. I dont have the time for much around my job at the moment. Theres just not other way to make money. Im out of idea and i need to make a few hundred a month to keep my head above water now im funding 4 adults alone pretty much.

The concern is obviously my kids, even though they are all adults. We are a pretty liberal open family and discuss anything and everything. Id probably tell them, but its still a worry.

Would you do it? Could you do it? Have you done it? Can you suggest an alternative?

Haven’t read the whole thread but some second income ideas: cleaning, pet sitting, ironing clothes. Could any of those work OP?

OP, I can empathise, and it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job by your three kids - they are lucky to have you.

Have you considered the virtual assistant route? I know several ex-colleagues making a good wage as a VA - fully remote and flexible, booking travel and accommodation, etc for their clients. Not sure if that’s of interest?

OP, if you think OF is such a good way to make some extra money easily, why don't you ask your kids to open OF accounts? 🙃

On a more serious note, if you have university age kids yet you only did your own degree five years ago or so, then surely your pay will still go up in the next few years - in one of the posts you said you are only five years post-grad.

And do you really want to jeopardise your hard-earned career by selling pics and videos of yourself on the internet? What if your manager or colleagues or customers came across them - could it have negative consequences? That university degree won't help if people think you have bad judgment and embarrassing pics on the internet.

What's stopping your kids from taking out student loans like everyone else?

What’s stopping you from reading the thread to see they’ve already done that? While I don’t disagree regarding the sex work, the sly comments regarding her children are not helpful.

This is a great post!

Honestly, I think you are so stressed about money that you have lost your actual mind. Of course you shouldn’t do Only Fans so your adult kids don’t have to contribute. You would make absolute peanuts, if anything, your FWB would have a load of videos of you to do what he liked with, your friends and colleagues would almost certainly find out and your kids would feel like utter dicks that their mum is doing sex work so they can Netflix and chill. Your eldest, in particular, shouldn’t have to carry that.

Your salary is decent

Your student dc should have around £6K loan each as a living at home with household income of £40k
£500 each a month is not bad when you aren’t paying bills or food
The bar worker one doing 3 nights a week is likely earning £600-800 on top
THEY CAN AND MUST CONTRIBUTE

You can work with a 1in4 weekend commitment - I do it myself (as I also have 2 uni age dc and I get it isn’t cheap - my London dc only gets a few hundred more for living away from home in London than yours get for living at home). Lots of supermarkets and fast food chains have 8-12 hour contracts. Care homes will take people on short shifts in the evenings. I’m not saying you should, I’m saying you can. FWB can help you get there. Ultimately you could do with moving to somewhere with much better transport links for everyone’s benefit but not realistic atm.

Your eldest should be able to pick up a lot of the slack at home which will allow the other 3 adults to work a bit more. You need to work as a team rather than you do everything.

I really like the dog sitting idea. Dog walking is a huge commitment but having someone over a few nights leaves you a lot more flexibility. I have paid SIXTY pounds for my boy to sleepover as he is too precious for kennels and is scared of other dogs so he goes to a “hotel” where he is the only pet - no resident pets, no other guests.

If you could have a dog 4 nights a month at £30 plus your eldest contributes say, £70 a week and the students £40 a week then you would have £180ish a week which would more than cover everyone’s food. Without the dog is would be £150. A dog 10 nights a month would be £300 and with 4 adults in the house you could probably manage.

You need a family meeting with a grown up discussion on budgets and expectations with your grown up family. Unless they are absolutely horrible it’s very very likely that they would much rather hand over 4-6 hours wages a week each than literally let their mum prostitute herself to buy food. You are prioritising them having a nice relaxing time over eating and your own unmanageable stress. I suspect you have had to work so incredibly hard trying to make up for them having a shit dad that you never want to put any stress on them but it’s beyond what is appropriate now.

OP, I also think OF would not help your situation.

Look into online surveys? I (a single adult) manage to earn 1k a year.

I would have been horrified if my DM had done this to pay for me to go to uni.

As one is in their last year, you only need to hang on until next June.
Then you'll only be supporting 2.

I would absolutely ask for a bit more food money from all 3. Tell the two uni students that as soon as their degrees are finished they need to be fully self sufficient.

You've done so much and so well don't sell yourself now.

I would have been horrified if my DM had done this to pay for me to go to uni.

Yes, same. I’d have definitely been happy to put more into the household finances to prevent that happening even if it meant taking on some extra shifts.

I can't believe some posters are suggesting ways for OP to earn more, when it's clear her adult DC have plenty of money to contribute.

3 evenings bar work - so about 12 hours a week? At minimum wage that's £145 a week. Plus student loan of at least £6000 a year (as a PP pointed out it will actually be more). So that's £115 a week.
Altogether - £260 a week.
That is plenty to be paying their fair share of bills, heating, food. They could easily contribute to rent too, although I can understand if OP wants that to be her contribution to their education.

OP, you are doing them no favours by paying for so much for them. I've seen this with so many people I know - they never had to budget or contribute so really struggled when they left home.
It's so tempting as a parent who has gone through tough times to want to shower your DC with everything you didn't have - but they don't appreciate it as you would, because they didn't go through the hardship you did. It actually makes them struggle to budget or to become entitled.

Your "friend" sounds more like your pimp to be honest and very sleazy

Because that is so easy, these higher paying jobs grow in trees only on Mumsnet 🙄

The first year child should have deferred until the other sibling was finished.

You're in this situation because you can't say no to your kids.

Sometimes they need to hear 'no, we can't afford it right now'.

Yes I get it that it's sad they wouldn't go able to go to the same uni as their pals at the same time but if the alternative is waiting a little longer and their mother not having to become a prostitute then I think it's pretty clear which they would have chosen.

Now they're caught in a hard place where really they cant afford to be in uni. You should have told them that honestly from the start.

You can't afford it.
That's not a reason to pimp yourself out. It's a reason to start teaching your kids hard lessons in life, that if you can't afford something you don't do it. You don't bakrupt yourself and your whole family trying to keep up with the Joneses.

OF is not prostitution.

Let's face it, it's a very thin line.

Another suggestion is switching current accounts for a reward. You can work your way through 5-6 banks in a year x 4 adults is potentially quite a lot of money (maybe £4k-ish over 1 year). It requires some admin time (but really not much) and at least about £500 to shuffle about the accounts to meet the criteria for the reward. You can find exactly how to do it on money supermarket I think. It's something can you do only about every 4 years but as a one off it's still a really decent amount of money to get you out of a tight spot for really not much work (and very flexible, all the admin can be sorted out in the evenings or whenever).

Your 'friend' is someone you need to boot out your life.
This sleazy scumbag will.destroy your confidence, dignity, pride and soul.
Kick him to the kerb girl and take the jobs mentioned here.
Sit down as a family with your budget

Ask all of them except your child with disability to come with ideas
how they will make savings
or contribute to the family budget.

Meet up every 3 weeks to monitor how things are going.
Be the united family and you get through it.

Today is a new start to a positive life.

Right. Your DCs have student loans, plus part time jobs. But you’re paying for all the food and household costs.

What does their money go on? If they each paid a very minimal £20 a week that would be £240 a month which is probably more than you’d make on OF. And that is VERY reasonable. £50 a week each would be pretty average for students or youngsters living at home and more than fair.

I know you want them to enjoy uni but paying towards life is part of being an adult. It does them no favours to be shielded from adult responsibilities.

i bet they’d be horrified at the thought of their mum on OF..:

It’s sex work.

Your of suggestion is pretty stupid as well. Listen to people who are telling you, you won't make any money so it will be a waste of time anyway.
Lots of people are short of money but dont post about OF. What do you think people did to make money before Of too?

If OF had been around when I was a struggling single mother 30 years ago, I would have seriously considered it. I ended up homeless because my prick ex wouldnt give me any money for the kids 😡

1. Have you thought about using food banks and community larders? There’s no shame if you are in need, which it sounds like you are.
2. Have you replaced all your branded food purchases with cheaper own brands?
3. Have you looked at alternative supermarkets where a shop might be a little cheaper (eg. Aldi or Lidl)
4. Make a Citizen’s Advice appointment. They are very good at making sure you are claiming what you are entitled to and finding ways you might be able to reduce spending. For instance, are you claiming carer’s allowance for your son who has additional needs, even if he’s not entitled to PIP?
5. Check through your bank statements with a fine tooth comb. Are you paying any subscriptions you don’t need or could do without for a while (eg. streaming services).
6. Put up some notices in local shops and supermarkets offering a typing service. People often want things like CVs done. It won’t be consistent and might not help much but every little counts.
7. Have you considered an extra cleaning job? Some people may not mind if you can’t consistently commit to a particular day as long as you guarantee once a week or you might be able to do after hours office cleaning.
8. Could you move onto a cheaper phone contract?
9. Batch cooking in bulk and freezing can reduce food costs as can buying frozen meat as opposed to fresh. Investigate ‘budget’ recipes online as well.
10. Get the ‘Olio’ and ‘Too good to go’ apps
11. Make a packed lunch for work if you don’t already, rather than buying overpriced sandwiches and coffees.
12. Could your kids share a bedroom for a while and you get a lodger?

I really hope something there helps a little and might mean you don’t have to resort to OF! 🤷🏻‍♀️ As others have said there are many reasons not to do OF but I also don’t think it’ll make you much money.

Actually, thinking about it, I had a friend who used to do the telephone sex lines years ago, while she was doing her ironing and she made a mint! Are they still a thing?

Can you reduce your food bills at all?
Most people can, if they eat less meat.

I simply can't believe that a 40-year-old mum of 3 can earn any money on Only Fans. Cat sitting or dog walking sounds a far better idea. People are desperate for sitters where I am.

Like @Speckly , I just remembered about the lodger idea. I understand it might require some compromise, but two of your DC could share. If they are near enough to uni to commute, there is probably a market for student rooms too. You could make the offer more attractive by only charging rent during term time, or not include the long summer break (if they don't want use of the room for 52 weeks a year).

Under the Rent a Room Scheme, you can make up to £7,500 per year tax free by renting out a furnished room in your home! That would solve a lot of financial problems.

Renting a room to an international student if you are near a uni that has several?

And yes, of course, your DC can share. Better than letting their mum pimp herself out.