To think my friend was racist, rude or both?

[RicottaOtter]

I was talking to a friend this morning. This friend is very concerned about excessive immigration to the UK, and plans to vote reform at the next general election because she believes only reform have the guts to tackle the problem properly. I was listening and not saying anything when this friend suddenly said, ‘Don’t worry - you’ll be okay, because of your husband, and you’re a mother to English children…’

I was gobsmacked at first - then realised she was talking about my ethnicity (one quarter English/one quarter white South African but originally English/half East European Jewish). I’ve lived in England my entire life and as far as I’m concerned I’m as English as this friend who was talking to me - whatever my ancestry might be.

Now, remember, this friend was (I think?) trying to be nice and reassuring (‘Don’t worry, you’ll* be okay’) - but I felt quite horrified and angry to have this said to me - am I being unreasonable?

I think you may be known as an African National, as in born there, but not indigenous. Think that's the right way around. Or maybe an English National. Depends on the countries citizenship policy I think.

Yes, she is against the huge amount of immigrants coming in from France. That is not racist...

That’s exactly what we got from a small but persistent minority of people when we lived in the UK. I have literally overheard myself being described as ‘Irish, but quite nice really’, with the word ‘Irish’ pronounced in slightly hushed tones, as if it was a dirty word. The same type of person, usually but not exclusively male and always white, used expressions like ‘worthy oriental gentleman’ to describe the village postmaster and said things like ‘a person with a skin tone slightly darker than pink’ as a way of circumventing that pesky political correctness.

Yes, she blurted out that she is against the amount of immigrants coming in to the country. That is not racism. She possibly then thought that her friend would be offended.

You're totally missing the point as to why people are saying the the friend is racist.

There used to be an expression "Friend of Dorothy", used to subtly establish or comment on a (male) individual's sexual preference, before de-criminalisation of homosexuality.

Perhaps we should have a new expression, "Friend of Nigel" to indicate someone who swears blind - in the face of historic and current evidence - that a fascist is not a fascist because they "don't believe" it could be the case. Oh and GenAI told them different.

There is no such thing as African nationality. That’s a simple statement of fact.

The race equality webpage does not refer to “people of African nationality” does it? No, it does not.

And my “other point” is factually accurate. On all accounts.

In my experience it usually is. The people who are against it weren’t against Ukrainians coming in huge numbers through safe countries. (And if you are going to go on about ‘the right way’, remember we made a ‘right way’ for Ukrainians. Wonder why that was?)

Our country has a lot in common with Ukrane including our religion (whether one is religious or not...it's the way of life that the majority live by). I've never met anyone with a bad word to say about any of the Ukrainians that have come to the UK. They appear to be hard working, decent people. That's it!

I know a few Ukrainians. All lovely. I know a few asylum seekers and refugees from Muslim countries. Also all lovely. I know at least 2 people who put Ukrainians up at home and have lots of bad things to say about them. I know some asylum seekers/refugees from Muslim countries do bad things. It’s almost as if all of one race/religion/nationality don’t behave in the same way…

Are people really unaware that there is no such thing as an African national? Do they believe there is a country called Africa?

It's mindboggling.

Who'd have thunk it?!