To allow DD to buy this 'obscene' top?

[maggie2k]

DD14 just lost 10kg, went down from 62 to 52kg (she's pretty petite, only 160 cm tall) and wants to buy herself this top since she's now at a healthy weight for her age and was putting off buying new tops earlier because she didn't want them to stop fitting her: https://www.victoriassecret.co.uk/style/su826145/w96067

My sister thinks it's 'obscene' and a 'lingerie ad' as well as 'something she saw on social media' which is complete nonsense because she uses one of those granny flip phones and isn't on social media except discord, spotify and IRC (no idea if those count)

I don't see the problem honestly, there's nothing obscene about lingerie if you ask me in the 1st place, and VS has always made clothes

This is a photo of the top in the colour she wants it:

I didn't know it was still a thing! Wow.

Agreed! It’s literally just a grey tshirt with a brand name on it, and it might be underwear but it isn’t a brand name like playboy or only fans, Calvin Klein sell a lot of underwear and your mum wouldn’t blink if it said ck.

My daughter had a Victorias Secret bag for school and it was a non-issue.

Er - I have a Victoria's Secret Pink hoodie around here somewhere (Pink being their leisure line, it's not pink!) that I bought in my 30s. I never even think about it "advertising underwear".

Nothing wrong with it but don't think it will be appropriate for her to wear for school with Victoria's secret accross it

Tell your sister to wind her neck in…she’s being utterly ridiculous!

Agree with a pp who said it's a brand, with perfumes , PJ's and accessories. The tshirt is just a logo.
I see teens wearing stuff like that all the time, I wouldn't even notice.If I did might think it was ironic.
What did your sister wear as a teenager?

Yep still around! She likes one named libera or something

This is exactly what I was going to type!

It's a T-shirt???!

Pretty plain stuff, a tee shirt and jeans usually

Yes, that’s my view. They are hardly the same. All I can see is a grey T shirt with a brand name on. It’s not even low cut. In fact it’s very modest in appearance.

OP, when I was your DD’s age I was walking about wearing Iron Maiden T shirts. My DM used to roll her eyes and ask me not to wear them to church.

I'm nearly 64 and I don't think it's obscene in any way.
It's a t-shirt with a sparkly slogan.
It looks like something you'd wear in bed tbh.
I was expecting something far more revealing.
People may not like VS but that doesn't make this garment obscene.
She didn't produce some crotchless knickers and nipple tassles out of her school bag 🙄

As a teen who used to wear the Playboy bunny rhinestone tops… I find it icky. The one and only time I’ve realised I agree with my mother over my father is thanks to this 😂 Young teens should not be wearing any clothing that advertises a lingerie brand or dirty mag brand. It’s just so icky.

And OP, this is literally the mid 00s version of it. And I can 100% tell you your daughter wants that tee over another, purely because they logo, and the thought that boys will make the link. And they do. Particularly when you make all the typically 14/15 year old comments about your clothes to encourage it.

It’s a rite of passage, but I’d much prefer it stopped being one.

she already has a 'boyfriend', this nearly 16 year old russian boy who lives 2 streets down, i personally find him very annoying as all he talks about is games and ww2 and all they ever seem to do is sit in the living room and (noisily!) play video games on some console he brings over

she's been in a 'relationship' with him for a year now and not done any major changes to her wardrobe so I doubt the reason for this is to appeal to boys

I thought it was actually pink for a moment and liked the idea rofl

Your sister has some serious problems. Without any hyperbole. Of course she can buy herself this top.

I wouldn't allow your sister to interact with your child on her own, just be around within earshot, because her reaction to this is odd and extreme, and I wonder if it comes from jealousy of your daughter or from something equally concerning.

Your girl deserves to have the top for all the hard work she has put in, losing weight and now feeling good about herself. The last thing she needs is some other kind of body image judgement from your sis who is off her rocker!

It's a really nice t-shirt and there is nothing obscene about it. I suspect your sis has some sex hangups and to her, this is vulgar because anything hinting at sexy lingerie is vulgar. That is her problem. It smacks of her own insecurities.

Again, with all due respect, the change in the T-shirts style was my point in encouraging attention. All wanted attention, this is in no way a comment on boys or girls as teenagers. But I genuinely can only describe it as the weirdest ‘courting ritual’ ever. There’s always a tee 🙂🙄

Which links in with going past being a tween to TEEN.

Oh and yes at her age it probably is to appeal to boys, which is fine and normal. It's not obscene, and it does not cross any boundaries at all.

So.. Victoria’s Secret is a lingerie brand. Overpriced and made of polyester but ultimately just… underwear. Like wearing a top saying La Senza back in the day, except with better marketing? We do all in fact wear underwear, I’m not sure why the idea is obscene.

At 14 in the 90s my three favourite tops were: a bright red top with a glittery silver playboy bunny on it, a black top with FCUK on the front, and a black top which had in very small text over the boobs “if you can read this, you’re standing too close. Fuck off”.

This is very tame comparatively; but I would warn her that the school might not like it in which case she can’t wear it and the money might be wasted.

why are you asking your sister to approve what your daughter wears?

The stricter you are with a teen the wilder they will be when they are finally off the leash. Many years ago, one of my friends ended up staying in a hostel as a teacher trainee and it was run on supposedly strict religious lines for the "young ladies", most of whom were convent educated. My friend whose family were a bit more secular was open-mouthed about what went on there - I mean near unconscious drunken residents being hauled upstairs by their friends to make curfew, men being smuggled in and so on. I heard the same sort of story recently about the goings on in a hall of residence where you were expected to dress for dinner. Let her buy the top - in some circles it would be seen as positively Quaker-like. I was expecting a skimpy plunging thing from the description of obscene.

I was thinking exactly the same. Times haven't really changed

Your sister sounds unhinged,not that it matters as it’s got sod all to do with her anyway

Good grief,.its fine! As.the mother of an 18 yr old dd i was expecting somthing totally different! I assume your sister doesnt have teen daughters. It thats as reveling as it gets you have no worries