Parents bought sister a house

[MikeL1993]

I am the middle child between two sisters and there is 5 years between me and my older and younger sisters.

Me and my younger sister both own a three bed semi detached house, she lives with her husband and I live with my girlfriend and son who is 18 months old. The week after my son was born it was announced that my sister and her husband had bought a house. And we were all happy for them but then it turned out what had actually happened was they had approached my parents and asked them to lend them money so they could buy an old bungalow, raise it to the ground and build a new house and we were told that they would sell their current house after they have moved into this rebuilt house and then somehow pay my parents back the money they borrowed but everyone seemed vague about how that would happen.

Fast forward to now and they are almost ready to move in but the buyers of their current house have pulled out but it is not affecting any chain. Anyway we have now discovered that my parents have told them not to pay them back so with everything included have basically gifted my youngest sister half a million pounds or in that region.

Obviously this is now creating resentment for me and my older sister. It has been mentioned in passing that me and my gf are struggling for space in our house but we are having to make do until we can afford something bigger but that wont be for a number of years yet.

I think I am feeling most resentful because not only has my sister and her husband been gifted a house but when they had a big extravagant wedding back in Summer my parents paid for 90% of it whereas I am working all the hours I can and after bills and nursery fees etc I am having very little to show for it whilst my parents have given all this to my little sister and don't seem to understand why I am annoyed.

This is also not including that the money they have given my sister and her husband over the years with other stuff whereas I have basically been left to fend for myself.

Am I being unreasonable or am I justified in feeling annoyed?

This 👆 100%

Perhaps the will might be adjusted so that this early inheritance is taken into account.
its up to to the parents how their money is spent and it doesn’t need justification.

It may be up to the parents but surely you can understand that it is incredibly hurtful to be on the receiving end of unequal treatment compared to your siblings?

I do understand how hard it will be to " just ask" . However your relationship with them is effectively ruined by their unfair treatment of you and your older sister . ( Even if you are all pretending to act normally, you both know you are hurt and upset.)
So actually you might as well risk their anger. They may not realise how you are feeling and perhaps it could be sorted. (Although they must be pretty dense if they cant see the problem)

The downside with expecting an adjustment in the Will, is that it could change again. This happened to DH, his sister was bought a home and he was told the inbalance would be taken care of in the parents Wills.

his dad died first so it went to his mum as you would expect. On reaching terminal stage, SIL convinced her to ditch the family solicitor and use her GF’s one. A trust was created for SIL to keep her inheritance away from creditors, additional bits and bobs were left to her adult children, and a balance left to DH of no more than being left to SIL trust…

My SIL was bought an entire house by FIL when she was late 20s. Then they bought her a house outright. Meanwhile, DH and I both have very full on jobs and have worked our way up and had managed to buy a home ourselves at the same time but with a big mortgage. It’s been many years since this happened and we’ve never said anything but I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t bothered DH. FIL mentioned once that it’ll all “even out” when he passes away and DH will the inherit the same amount - but it’s not really the same amount is it? Because that money has grown for SIL in equity, and the freedom that not having any mortgage has allowed during the years most of us struggle most (eg only working v part time as bills are so low).

But no one really knows what their care will cost as they age so there may not even be anything left to leave - self funding care for two people will burn through cash super fast

Iyou don’t say something to your parents this is going to fester - in terms of your relationship with them and with your sister. Could you pluck up the courage and tell them you are hurt by the apparently preferential treatment, unfairness and say you feel siblings should get the same? I’d have a financial plan / sum up your sleeve to propose to them. I’m sorry your parents haven’t given this any thought. It was the one thing my parents did and I’m grateful to them for it. My mum’s cousins fell out and never spoke to each other after their parents gave one of them everything and the other one got nothing. It’s an awful messsge to send to your children. I hope you can resolve this but you do need to try and do something. Your sister isn’t going to resolve it as she doesn’t hold the purse strings. It sounds like your parents aren’t thinking about this at all.