To think if you earn this, it doesn’t matter your circumstances, you’re still bloody privileged?!

[Herefo1]

My sister takes home 4,200 a month. She gets a tiny bit of maintenance (250) and has her DD full time.

I know her income as I helped her with her tax return for CB (and to be fair her income may be even more now!).

All me and my parents ever hear is how hard things are financially. She won’t ever buy coffees if we are out or get the kids a lolly or pitch in for something. Birthdays and Christmases are a really basic gift with the apology that it’s ’hard on her own.’

I could never admit this in real life to anyone as I’m really close to her but I honestly feel like this takes the piss. She feels her earning potential is hampered now but on this take home pay in your thirties, regardless of having DD..surely IANBU to think this is privileged and she should stop being so mean spirited?

I think privilege is the wrong word for it. Leaving aside extremes of wealth or deprivation at either end or extremes of neglect or overparenting, or SEND or health issues, people can make what they wish of their lives. You can choose to identify and pursue a career you enjoy or find stimulating and reap the rewards. Sadly I know a few people whose relatively dull and poor lives are the result of simple inertia and lack of drive. Not everyone is a victim of circumstance. More ownership of our choices would be a good thing, instead of calling the results of good ones "privilege".

Whilst that's clearly an above average salary, I can easily imagine that it doesn't leave very much spare cash for luxuries. The household mortgage or rent is the the same regardless of whether it's one adult or two in the household, bills aside from food will be the same, she's paying for child care expenses and presumably also for all extra curricular activities for the child. I do think she's wise not to be splurging on gifts for adult family members, but I can see your point that it's irritating that she's accepting ice creams and coffee paid for by you and never reciprocating. I think you just have to stop paying for things for her.

Like I said, on the face of it, her salary is considered good but how well off she feels very much depends on her outgoings as well as her ability to manage finances in general 😊

It's not that from my point of view, I have a sister who is a higher earner but single whole the rest of us have partners and kids. She actually does contribute a lot and travel a fair bit but I tend to think she should be more frugal as she has noone to fall back on. It also can mean if she treats someone she's treating several people while treating her back is only treating one.

It sounds like op is in a similar income bracket to her sister but seems to think SHE is worse off when it really isn't the case.

I get £143 a month cm. I'm lucky I get that, he was offering me £50! CF. (My ex, not you.) 😊

absolutely it does. very hard to swallow

I don't think she sounds privileged, I think she sounds tight,

Tell her to buy her own coffee.

I'm assuming your sister needs school wrap around care to be able to work, that alone would be 80 a week in term time never mind anything in school holidays.....

Not in the UK it's not £70000 is about £4200ish per month

Minimum wage is roughly £23000 about £1600 per month or £3200 for two.

Do you mean post tax pay? (That is what I understand by ‘take home pay’ .)

I wouldn’t call it “privileged” unless she somehow obtains that income through some sort of handout. Is she not working to earn it?

If you don’t want to buy her a coffee, don’t offer.