Would your husband care about a one off lesbian kiss

[Loralo]

Relatively new fried of year that you’ve instantly clicked with. Both felt a bit lonely being SAHM and married to men who work incredibly unsocial hours. Neither consider themselves lesbians. No feelings involved. Very strange and unexpected.

Ive contemplated telling dh as he may well just laugh it off (he’s very level headed and not a jealous cave man type man) but I don’t see what is to be gained by doing so. It won’t happen again.

Tbh we probably leaned on each other too much and became a tad codependent. Friend and I probably spent far too much time together.

Why is labelling it 'lesbian' not cheating?

I agree with this. It sounds like a mistake which is best kept in the past. I don't think it makes any difference whether it's a woman or a man you're snogging, really. But you're only human.

Sounds like a big fuss about nothing much.

How did it even come about? Obviously you can spare us the gory details but you're quite insistent you're straight, so I don't understand how there was even an opportunity to kiss, despite how close you are as friends.

Would you say the same if it was the exact same scenario, but with a man?? Genuinely curious!

This

Are you thinking of telling him to ease your guilt? If so, don’t do it, it’s possible you will cause more harm than good.

Yes because it's cheating....

Probably not. Have you ever wondered why at a gathering it is not seen as outrageous if two women exchange kisses on the cheek, but if men do it is a little odd. This of course doesn't apply with my Italian male friends.

Yes, my DH would have a problem with this. It's cheating.

I'd distance myself from that friend and probably not see them again, the same way it should be if it were a man I'd kissed.

It's not OK to kiss someone else if you're married.
Not sure which bit you find confusing

It's just a kiss. Happened to me too.
We were drunk, moaning about husbands, saying how great eachother was and kissed. Talked about it when sober. Embarrassed but laughed it off. Say nothing. Ignore the judgementals.

If it's OK why say nothing?

Why would it be any different to if you’d kissed another man?

Your version of what happened doesn’t ring true for me at all and I think you might be in denial, gaslighted or you’re trying to rewrite what happened to alleviate guilt.

What actually happened? Who kissed who first? Where and how did it happen? What was the reaction? etc.

My advice would be don't tell your husband. If there was nothing in it and it won't happen again I wouldn't want to know. There is nothing to gain, you just have to learn from it.

People can be bisexual too, to varying degrees. Sexuality is a spectrum.

You mean find it hot and try to engineer more? Yes, probably.

There's a big difference between a peck on the cheek (whether between men or women) and a full-on kiss. A hello/goodbye kiss on the cheek isn't a sexual gesture in the slightest. It's non-sexual affection - people do it to their own kids, as well as friends, relatives etc. It's not remotely the same thing as a a romantic kiss on the lips or a proper snog with tongues.

This is cheating and if it happened sober there must be some sexual attraction between you (in some way), hanging around together all the time does not explain this at all, it sounds like you are trying to justify and make excuses.
if this is a one off I wouldn’t disclose but this is a wake up call. You need to fully reflect on this , possibly change your lifestyle and also put steps in place to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Could you even consider going to work part time or something like that ? It sounds like you are feeling really lonely .

Depends on your boundaries. I'm polyamorous, generally my DPs wouldn't mind if I kissed someone, but like monogamous people we could put in boundaries to say we're not getting involved with any others. To me, kissing is definitely getting involved with someone, and cheating if you're in a closed relationship or have otherwise said it's not permitted. At one time we had closed our circle off to other people, and I wouldn't have kissed anyone during that time.

My husband would fucking love this. He knows I am bisexual and has already said he is OK with me doing stuff with girls as long as i don't lie about it or try to hide it from him. It's always been a little fantasy if his to see two girls together or even a MFF threesome.

Is your husband 15?

No, he's 43.

Yes my husband would be devastated if I snogged someone else, wouldn’t matter if they were male or female, he would be gutted. It’s not something I could keep from him either, I would have to tell him sooner or later