Would your husband care about a one off lesbian kiss

[Loralo]

Relatively new fried of year that you’ve instantly clicked with. Both felt a bit lonely being SAHM and married to men who work incredibly unsocial hours. Neither consider themselves lesbians. No feelings involved. Very strange and unexpected.

Ive contemplated telling dh as he may well just laugh it off (he’s very level headed and not a jealous cave man type man) but I don’t see what is to be gained by doing so. It won’t happen again.

Tbh we probably leaned on each other too much and became a tad codependent. Friend and I probably spent far too much time together.

Yes of course he bloody would and so would I if it were the other way around.

Its cheating.

Both me and my husband are bi so yes he would be very very upset and see it the same as if I kissed a man. I actually ended up in a similar situation a few years ago during a difficult period at work. The woman was straight and we were very drunk, I don't remember who initiated it or if it was a mutual thing. I instantly ran off in tears, tried to forget it but ended up telling DH a couple of months later because it was killing me.

It was a wake up call really that I didn't want to ever be in that situation again and that I needed to open up more emotionally to DH, as well as be more careful about drinking with colleagues. I have worked hard since on our marriage because he is an incredible husband who I love with all my heart and treats me amazingly. I was just stressed and scared and trauma bonding with this woman who I liked and yes she was undeniably very pretty.

I can't say what I would do in your situation and I imagine you may be confused about the sexuality stuff that this has brought up. But I would say if your DH is half as great as mine, I would tell him and be honest because he deserves that and your marriage deserves that.

Yes my husband would care if I kissed someone else, male or female.

My husband would be devastated, as would I if he kissed a man he was having an emotional affair with

... too late?

I thought this post was going to be asking about the idea taking place in the future, but you're actually coming to get reassurance it's okay to hide cheating on your husband. No doubt you'll filter out the responses that highlight you've been unfaithful and he deserves to know so he can make decisions about your marriage in possession of the truth.

It's only a lesbian kiss if you're a lesbian. Otherwise you kissed your friend.

If I were you I'd just not do it again but no point saying anything. Unless you genuinely do want to be with her. And she feels the same.

I think it’s very easy in retrospect to call this an emotional affair. I would not label it as such. I have never had to hide anything from dh. He was fully aware of all our meet ups. I am very much a straight woman. I think we have both enjoyed a close companionship where we have been heavily supportive ie she would look after my kids whilst I went to the supermarket. I do think that that companionship is misplaced and should come from my husband.

"I do think that that companionship is misplaced and should come from my husband." = Emotional affair

You cheated end off.
Stop trying to blame him for what you did.
What if he done it to another man or woman.
You wouldn't like it and it would be LTB.
But this is mums net so someone will be along soon to tell you to keep your mouth shut.
You need to take responsibility for your own actions and stop trying to dip feed us crap.
You cheated so be a grown up and own up to it.

I hope you are alright. It’s never happened me but I can see how it could, and I understand that you are lonely. I hope you figure it out x

My husband would be gutted that I'd cheated. Man or woman, it's the same thing.
Just as I'd be devastated if he kissed anyone else.

Been there. Went further. Left my husband. I'm not with her. But if I ever dated again , I can categorically say it would only be with women.

“I do think that that companionship is misplaced and should come from my husband.”

Sounds like the poor bugger is working crazy hours. He can’t do that and then give companionship at the same time.

Perhaps get a job, so he can change his hours and give you the companionship.

I wouldn't care if my wife did this, I'd probably feel a bit bad that she felt lonely enough to want to. I expect some men would be put out, so telling him is risky, but as "cheating" goes it's definitely at the milder end.

You have become highly emotionally reliant on another person which is usually a symptom that something in your marriage is not quite working. Whether that person is a man or a woman is largely irrelevant.

Your choice is either to fix your marriage or carry on down a road which will likely result in your relationship ending.

Would you care if your wife kissed another man?

Yes my husband would care and see this as cheating, it is. My friend was in a similar position, married and had been with her husband for well over 10 years, very "straight", she decided to kiss a girl at a party, that then moved to dating (with the husband's permission) so my husband and I have discussed this very situation. I viewed it as their marriage was heading for disaster I said to my husband her marriage is over and she doesn't even realise it. My husband made it clear (and I agreed) kissing/spending time with a woman where there's feelings involved is cheating, whether you claim to be straight or not. My friend has been married to a woman for over 4 years now. Thankfully there were no children involved in this situation.

You cheated on him. It doesn’t matter how you try and dress it up. It’s irrelevant what genitalia the other person has.

Not really, not in the circumstances in the OP.

Yes. Absolutely. I am a bisexual woman and he has been clear about his boundaries over this from the off. I would find it offensive if he didn't acknowledge my sexuality and honestly thought sexual contact between me and another woman was not significant.

As a woman in a same sex relationship, I'm loving the insinuation by OP that it's less of an affair because it's a woman, and relationships between women are no big deal?

There must be emotions involved: I’ve never had the urge to kiss any of my female friends.

The part about him being fully aware of your meet ups… He thinks this is a purely platonic friendship and so has no issue with it. You’ve crossed a line, and I doubt he’d be so easy-going about it if he knew what had happened. You and your friend are taking time apart… Do you think your husband would be so accepting of you meeting up again if he knew the truth?

Fair enough.

I think most people would consider it a form of cheating though and would care a great deal.

I have kissed women for fun on drunken nights out when younger, DH was present and is not bothered in the slightest. The situation you have described is different though, it’s an emotional connection and there is some form of relationship there not just a silly meaningless kiss.

I disagree. If OP is a Lesbian then this will cause problems in the marriage if not now then in the future. But I still dont think she should say anything.