To refuse to give a colleague a lift to/from work?

[NotTonightDeidre]

A colleague at work, I'll call her Kate, gets a lift 4 days a week with another colleague, Jen. Jen doesn't work Thursday, but both Kate & I do.

I've given Kate a lift on several occasions but I find it awkward as she's not all that talkative & I'm a very chatty person.

We did some training last week & I was in the same team as Kate, she barely acknowledged me, let alone spoke to me.

We saw each other at work today (we're in different teams day to day) and she half smiled at me. Fast forward to after work & I get a text from Kate asking for a lift tomorrow morning.

AIBU to have replied saying I'm unable to offer a lift at the minute? I feel like a dick, but also, I don't want awkward journeys in my own car.

Says the person calling a stranger a cunt ... project on me all you want .. idc .. It's just funny that your replies completely describe your reactions...

Lots of adults are not independent in their approach to life. They expect things from others through some sort of (minor) victim entitlement complex.

Holy shit. I don't own a car and I feel like shit accepting a ride from my best friend when we are going to the same place and I still offer to take public transportation and to meet there. And then there are people like this, yikes.

Morning, everyone. We just wanted to pop by with our usual reminders about posting within Talk guidelines. Things seem to be getting a bit personal in places here and it's taking the OP's thread off track. If everyone could refrain from name-calling and personal comments within the thread we'd be very grateful.

You say you dont care, yet you continue to respond (to me). 🤦‍♂️

Strange.

And yes, I can call a stranger a name I deem commensurate with their attitude towards the OP.

Thats what a discussion forum is for. Great, isnt it?

It is no more weird than people who won't open their doors because they don't like having other people in their home. You have no obligation to let someone you don't get on with or who makes you feel awkward into your car. It is a small space and makes the morning start off badly.

The op wants someone who can make small talk, provide some entertainment andand make the journey not awkward. that is part of her price for a lift once a week, if the colleague can't be bothered to do that then she can't have the lift. Simple really

Quite a few people have quoted this post to express shock or incredulity at it

I am not sure why so many posters are shocked at this post. I don't see anything written here as unreasonable. Just very sensible boundaries. What on earth is wrong with not letting people change your schedule to suit them.?

There is no way I would miss the first and last 30mins of my once a week hobby for a random person whose daughter wants to be somewhere at a set time. I might occasionall for a special reason for my family or close friends but not someone else hat has already been told I am nto available that day.

I also would leave is someone is late to meet me for a lift. I'd be clear how long I would wait and of course if I got a text with a reason for them being late and it was very occasional, I would wait but as a matter of course absolutely not

I also would not walk half a mile down a dark lane just because someone else won't take their share of the driving, I'd find another solution that works for me. What the hell is wrong with all that? I don't see any of it as selfish but pretty clear boundaries

As for going to shops for someone else on the way home - no not that either . I don't do that for myslef as it means I am late home so why should I do it for someone else ?

I haven't seen any messages where people are shocked about the commenters actions. I do see messages where people are shocked at the expectations of the CF's she is writing about.

You moan that I'm targeting you ...but keep replying. ..see ...I can twist things too ;)

HebeMumsnet · Today 12:05
Morning, everyone. We just wanted to pop by with our usual reminders about posting within Talk guidelines. Things seem to be getting a bit personal in places here and it's taking the OP's thread off track. If everyone could refrain from name-calling and personal comments within the thread we'd be very grateful.

Something you've clearly missed.

@Boygirlmum1621

Until the last few posts exchanged with you, my posts have been on topic.

MNHQ can see that. It is you that seems to have an issue with my posts against KTC.

Ergo, I have missed nothing. Appreciate the concern though.

Pity Kate doesnt show OP the same concern....

I don't understand why people find it so hard to say no. Why is this?

So you've done zero name calling?..OK..

Some of these replies are wild
OP- of course you don’t have to a lift if she’s not your type of person. The drive to work should be when you are prepping for the day, not feeling awkward.
Youre find yo text back ‘sorry I have plans first thing’ because you do. Plans to spend the first half hour on your own.
Fwiw I don’t drive and I use public transport- I wouldn’t ask a colleague for a lift as it’s their personal time and I’d be embarrassed to impose

For someone who doesnt drive, its kind and refreshing to see your comment that doesnt have self entitlement.

You are a rare breed 👍

@bumblingbovine49 - the shock is at the cheeky fuckery of those wanting lifts, not the sensible Mumsnetter turning the CF down.

People are shocked at the sheer cheeky fxxkery of @cleanasawhistle post.
I am not shocked at all.
I have come across People like this and have backed away sharpish the first minute I clock it.

As she wrote, some people think the whole bloody world circulates for their convenience.
I feel under fxxk all obligation to give anyone a lift anywhere.
Op's car, OP's entitled to not share her private space with anyone.
Giving regular lifts to anyone means you are on their clock.
No thank you.

I know loads of people who don't drive but also don't rely on others and I know drivers who are entitled in other ways - cheeky fckers are cheeky fckers.