To refuse to give a colleague a lift to/from work?

[NotTonightDeidre]

A colleague at work, I'll call her Kate, gets a lift 4 days a week with another colleague, Jen. Jen doesn't work Thursday, but both Kate & I do.

I've given Kate a lift on several occasions but I find it awkward as she's not all that talkative & I'm a very chatty person.

We did some training last week & I was in the same team as Kate, she barely acknowledged me, let alone spoke to me.

We saw each other at work today (we're in different teams day to day) and she half smiled at me. Fast forward to after work & I get a text from Kate asking for a lift tomorrow morning.

AIBU to have replied saying I'm unable to offer a lift at the minute? I feel like a dick, but also, I don't want awkward journeys in my own car.

Can't believe some posters would wait around and be late to work themselves waiting for people they are doing a massive favour.

I said upthread about a colleague inviting her friends into my car etc...but when that colleague originally asked for a lift I said I will pick you up at this time and if you are not there I won't wait.
I leave the building at this time for home,I won't be waiting.
A few times she asked me to go via shops and I said no I want to get home.

A few years ago I started a hobby one night a week.
I told my friends I loved it and my kids had been told that I won't be missing my night off to take them elsewhere...so I was shocked to get a message from a friend saying she had signed her daughter up to an activity in the same town as my hobby.
Could I drop her daughter off and also pick her up.
But she was afraid I would have to miss the first and last half hour of my hobby to accommodate the timings for her child.
One word reply from me NO.

A neighbour and I had mutual friends.
We were invited to a night out to somewhere in the middle of nowhere but it did have four pub/restaurants.
It was all back lanes and no street lighting or pavements.
The only parking was at least half a mile away.
My neighbour asked if she could get a lift from me.
I said of course my husband would drop us off and maybe her husband could collect us.
She says no her husband would be at home having a few cans and I would have to drive because she was only going to be out a couple of hours then needed me to give her a lift to work.
She was raging with me when I said no I am not walking up that road on a cold winters night.

Suggest you re-read, carefully the OPs first post.

Kate the cunt is rude, ignored her, didnt acknowledge her AND the OP has given her lifts in the past.

Texting is a complete cop out as Kate the Cunt (KTC) is arrogant and knows her avoiding of the OP is the reason why she hasnt got the guts to ask in person.

SUCKS TO BE YOU KATE! WHEREVER YOU ARE!
🫠🖕🤣

I don't know why you're so invested in this...Kate is a stranger to you ..it's a little unhinged..it's a lift to work..not a request to murder someone.

I don't know why you're so invested in this...Kate is a stranger to you ..it's a little unhinged..it's a lift to work..not a request to murder someone.

It may not be your primary intention, but if you know it's rude and you're doing it anyway, it's not accidental.

If you can text asking for a big favour off someone you refuse to be civil to, you can't be that shy, can you?

I also didn't claim it to be rude...you're claiming it is.

Nobody said she wasn't civil.. did she talk to anyone else at that place? ...

I had this with a guy on a college course. Really pissed me off because I could always tell if he was going to ask for a lift that evening or not. After a while I pointed out to him that he only greeted me when he was going to ask, and that he was ridiculously transparent. He stopped asking for a lift after that.

OP's description of her - barely acknowledging a colleague who has done you favours in the past and whom you're in the same team with on a training day - is not one of someone being civil.

Pot, meet kettle....

Its a discussion forum - several people have chimed in, yet you hone in on me. If you dont like it, you dont have to participate, yet here you are.

THAT is unhinged.

You know it's rude. You know you're freeloading on everyone else.

Just adding late to this. I had a "lift to work" issue once. We both lived nearby so I was sort of 'obliged' to as the place of work was quite awkward to get to (public transport would have been a nightmare). However, my issue was more with the person's weight - my car is quite small and I was concerned about the impact on the car. I ended up making some excuses up and stopped.

Hardly. People who don't drive need to ensure that there are public transport options for getting to and from work rather than expecting lifts from colleagues every day.

I'm sure OP would have responded differently if this colleague had been polite and friendly but she pretty much ignores OP until she wants a lift. You'd have to be a complete door mat to agree to giving a lift in those circumstances.

….. or maybe just kind and helpful. You have no idea what’s going on in their life.

And you have no idea what's going on in OPs life.

Blah blah blah. I didn’t say I did and neither do you. Bye

No, but you called the OP "petty and immature" ... perhaps you should take your own advice, as you have no idea what the OP has going on in her life, and think about that before name calling.
Talk about being a hypocrite!!

Stop projecting your feelings of Kate on to me, I don't need to ask for a lift thanks.

You need to learn what "pot meet kettle" means. You're name calling a stranger ... that's not adding to a discussion thread..it's taking the whole thing way too personal...it ain't all about you.

& THAT is making you unhinged...not me replying to a discussion lol ..

Only person "personalising" things is you.

You are following my every comment - no idea whats triggering you.

That IS unhinged. Nor do YOU get to be the judge and jury of what constitutes a discussion. Kate is a cunt, and you seem to be having some issue with that.

I hope you find a cure for it.

Omg 😱 😲

How has she got a job she can’t get to by her own means? Unless she’s lost her licence for medical/legal issues. Happened to me recently medical issues but I could get to work in public transport - just took longer. Sometimes my manager dropped me at the station but she offered.
I’d just say you can’t commit at the moment, sorry.