RSVP to my 4 year old’s party told me they’re bringing 2yr old sibling

[Watchespaintdry]

We’re doing a 4th bday party at home for my daughter (money is tight hence at home), sent the invites out yesterday specifically addressed to the invited child and one of my friends has responded saying their daughter + 2yr old brother would love to come (she’s worded it to imply they don’t have childcare). So she’s telling me, not asking me, that the brother is coming too. I’ve been to parties before and always asked if if was ok to bring my 2.5yr old son too, due to lack of childcare, and these were soft play parties with no space issues, as it were. If they’d said no I couldn’t, I’d be totally cool and understand.

Thing is, I’m concerned about the space, and that this person will have 2 kids to watch. We’ve only got so much space around the dining table. She was the first to rsvp and now I’m worried other people are gonna bring siblings. I’ve got no problem with the brother, he’s cute and lovely and I love my friend and don’t want to upset her. I’ve invited 11 of my daughter’s friends (mixture of preschool and others) and confident they won’t all be able to come, given party statistics. Should I just suck it up and hope no one else brings siblings? This is the first party I’ve ever hosted.
My 2.5 yr old son will also be there (ofcourse).

It'll be nice for your son to have someone to play with - maybe the mum can supervise the two little ones playing while the older kids do party games or if they get bored at the table

Shitplopping, absolutely love this!! It does certainly make them CF's.

That’s very cheeky and I think would have been appropriate to say, “please explain ahead of time to big brother he won’t be able to use the bouncy castle since it’s a party aimed at 3&4 year olds so will be too dangerous.”

I’d say she could bring if it’s a personal friend, but next year be more precise in your invite.

Suck it up it’s a 2 year old

I have 4 children and this has happened a lot over the years! So I always make small party bags such as a nice dressed up bag of sweets and have about 5 spare. If extras don’t turn up then my kids shared them. Some peoples husbands work on the weekends or are doing something with another child or working away so I do think childcare can be an issue. I would say it was about 50/50 people would check. The only one I was miffed at was when someone turned up with their kid and their siblings and then left them all for the 2 hour party! That’s rude! As long as someone is supervising I think it’s ok. Saying that if space is an issue that can be difficult and either way I sympathise as you will worry about extra food etc. it’s nice to be asked but I wouldn’t be surprised if a couple more turn up with siblings too. I’ve loved parties but also loved when the 2 hours was over!!

When dd was little I noticed parents bringing siblings to parties we had been invited too even when the invite said no siblings.
So when I did parties for dd I would invite siblings along.
One year I think 8th birthday we had a party and could only invite 10 has dd was set on having a cake decorating party at her favourite cake shop.
She only invited friends that didn't have sibling because she knew her friends with sibling wouldn't come without their siblings.

8th birthday and you still expect parents to stay?!!

Well it’s funny how people react to bringing a sibling to a party. I ask if the party is in the soft play but if it’s in someone’s house I don’t take my younger one because of the space. Also I wouldn’t want to host a party for 4 year olds where parents drop them off - hell no! Way too young!

what I don’t understand is very often both parents coming to a party with their only child - seriously have you got nothing better to do?

Around here it’s fine to bring siblings to at home parties (not paid things like soft play or nerf gun party where it’s paid per head)

we all understand that people have siblings and it’s hard to juggle it

No I didn't expect parents to stay. But from going to other 8th birthday parties before my daughters. Parents tended to stay have a chat, drink coffee and help out.

This sort of thread always slightly bewilders me. When my children were very little I invited some of my mum friends and their children to parties. Once the children went to school, invitees to parties were dropped off and picked up two hours later. I always put a finish time on the invitations. Never any excuse for gate crashing siblings.

what will your toddler be doing? Would it work to just have the toddlers together in another room while you focus on the birthday party? Or were you going to have your toddler looked after elsewhere (my kids don’t go to each other’s parties)?

My neighbour had arranged for her daughter's birthday party at somewhere not sure where, but it was x amount of £s per child. She had a parent say she would have to bring their other 2 children as well, no offer to pay for the other two, so it ended up with 2 adults and 3 children instead of one adult and one child, she was quite upset about it and couldn't believe the cheek but didn't refuse as it was her daughter's best friend at school, parents didn't even know each other. I think it's a real cheek and would never dream of doing it.

I found it much easier to deal with the dc if no parents there.

Long time ago we hosted a 4th birthday party at home for the same reasons. We were very new to the children’s party scene and it was a surprise to us that siblings came along with parents. There was no room. Never again!
We were naive to expect people to drop off 4 year olds when they would have known us but some of them no more than chats in the playground. Closer friends dropped and went but it was ridiculous and very stressful!

Ever shared a king-sized bed with one?!?!

YABU to think you were fine taking a sibling to a soft play party but having issue with a sibling coming to a house party. Soft play parties are usually a price per head so you were adding costs to the price of the party.
I also find it odd that the sibling wasn't invited when you say this is a friend of yours. If a friend invited my DC to a party I would think it was for the whole family and I would also invite the whole family if I was hosting. It would be different if it was a school/nursery friend but choosing one sibling when you are friends with the parent, so I'm assuming you see both children, doesn't seem very nice.

And they usually expect a goody bag for them 😡

That,

you should really have specified to avoid this situation coz people don’t always ask and might just show up with…

I mean, if you were paying per head or she was a total stranger, it would be cheeky. But she's a good friend and it's round your house. It probably wouldn't occur to her it would be an issue, it certainly wouldn't be in my circle of friends. In fact it would be a given that siblings are invited. So by all means say no if you want to but I don't think she's cheeky to have suggested it.

This 100% 👏🏻

Iv got a toddler and all parties so far have been at my house or a community hall once. Every single time parents of multiples have brought everyone along without any ask that this is okay. So it seems to me that its absolutely the done thing. I think unless you are doing an activity where numbers are actually restricted then you will look really difficult saying no. To be honest if someone told me to not come to a 4 year olds party or find a baby sitter for the other child, I simply wouldnt go - and i wouldnt think very highly of the parents. I dont think money can come into it, make a few extra sandwiches whats the big deal?

If she's your friend and it means the older one won't be able to come if she can't bring the younger I would let her. If anyone asks who is not your friend use the limited space thing. And cross your fingers that someone can't make it! I doubt anyone else will. It's not really a 'done' thing unless single mum/ good friends. Also remember a small party bag for the 2 year old unless you want a full on meltdown at your front door. Make sure you've got lots of ideas to keep them all occupied and try to keep them in one place (downstairs) so they don't wreck your house. Good luck!

It depends on her situation - it used to drive me crackers when the whole family turned up (Mum, Dad, other siblings) yeah - so leave Dad at home with the others???? If she is a single parent or her partner is working then I wouldn’t mind. There are loads of CF’s though that just bring all their kids. One notable one from my past had 4 and always brought them all and they all had severe allergies and needed separate food etc. The CF never once invited my son to one of her parties. You’ll learn to toughen up and be more direct but I never minded my actual friends bringing their other kids.