Allowing college kids to deal with cold showers for 2 days

[Randicrawfordcoaching]

A mom posted in a group that her college kids had to deal with cold showers for two days and she asked if she should go get her and bring her home. Mom lives an hour away. I made a post and said absolutely not! They are in college and can figure it out! Parents came out of the woodwork freaking out on me and said if they could help with something small like this, they absolutely would do it. I’m horrified that we coddle our college kids the way we do. AIBU🤷‍♀️😂

An hour away isn't very far is it? If my uni kids who are that far away had no hot water and wanted to come home to shower I wouldn't have a problem with it. Why would I?
When my daughter's radiator needed bleeding he popped over to show her how to do it.
I don't consider her to be coddled. She doesn't ask for help with stuff much at all.

It all sounds very dramatic though. The freaking out, you being horrified. Perhaps everyone just needs to chill out a bit. Maybe the parents should have a cold shower.

I’m nearly 60 and I would absolutely drive to my mum’s house for a warm shower (and have done so before when our electricity was out!). Why needlessly suffer through a cold shower?

If this happened to DD at uni then I would have no issue in getting her a cheap hotel room for the night or gym pass so that she could access a hot shower. I don’t understand why some parents actively seek to make life difficult for their children… I wouldn’t take a cold shower so I wouldn’t expect my DD to.

If this happened to my ds, who is currently at uni an hour or so away, he'd be welcome to get himself home for a shower but I wouldn't be going over there to collect him. I would probably advise him to use uni facilities in the gym or something in the meantime.

I wouldn’t be very impressed with two days of no hot water if I was paying for a property so wouldn’t expect my dc to put up with it either. The dc could come home or we could work out another solution but surely you’d always actively seek to help your child if you could?

Thank you for your responses … I’m fairly surprised that we would help our adult children who should be able to figure this out in their own

Do you take cold showers? I’m an extraordinarily resilient, 61 year old. I would absolutely hate it.

That’s two hours out of your day, it would take the parent four hours out of their day, collecting and returning them. A lot for the sake of a couple of days cold showers.

Oh no I couldn’t do cold showers so wouldn’t expect DC to. Even when they’re all grown up! If I can help them in any way then I absolutely will. I’d maybe suggest another option such as shower at the gym etc before driving a huge distance but in any instance they’ll always be welcome home for some comfort.

I want DC to be capable and independent but I’d rather they ask me for help before struggling with anything.

I wouldn't expect anyone to tolerate cold showers.

I'd expect my ds to go to the nearest pool and shower before/after a quick swim. No need for anyone to travel for hours.

I've had days at home when the hot water stopped working, and I washed thoroughly with a basin of warm water (from the kettle) and a second basin of warm water to rinse the shampoo from my hair. It's really not difficult and would be sufficient for a day.

If my DS's way of figuring it out was to make his way home for a warm shower I'd let him. You'd hardly closed the door on them - "no figure it out somewhere else". I wouldn't drive an hour to go get him though!

Yes, there should be somewhere else in college they can shower, perhaps the gym.

If they need a membership for the gym, then ask another woman on their course if she can shower at theirs.

It would be quicker than travelling home and back.

Yes but @MrsSkylerWhite op said she would expect them to "figure it out" not just put up with cold showers.

To me "figure it out" would be pop to a sports facility with showers or ask to use a college friend's shower or get a train/bus home to use family shower. But to have worked that out for themselves.

Going away to college/university is a great time to learn non academic things through experience often coming from necessity.

And I speak as the mother of a dd who phoned me up to ask me what to do when she realised she'd gone to the university halls' launderette and put a wash on without putting in soap!!

I’d be more than happy they figured it out that way, but not your hours driving to figure it out for them.

I’m not saying I would like it but they’re in college can’t they figure it out can’t they go to an athletic center or another dorm or a friend’s house like why does mommy have to figure this out for them? They’re young adults.

Can young people in tertiary education really not work out how to improvise with a kettle of hot water and a jug?

Why would anyone want a 2 hour round trip with their parents for a shower when they could just go for a swim at their local pool or go to the gym or a friends house for a shower?

This is what I was going to say. Basin of hot water. Not having a shower for two days won't kill them

Given how much they (we) are paying, I would suggest an hot shower is the bare minimum .

I agree that the Athletic Centre or going to a friend’s for a shower would be the easiest solution.

Years ago, the water went off completely in our flat for four days due to a massive water main break. It was a pain but it was repaired as soon as possible. Having cold water for a few days isn’t the end of the world, their landlords probably had to order a replacement part for the boiler.

Not sure whether there are multiple "college kids" involved or just one. Regardless, the parent(s) should not simply show up and collect here/them. If they ask her to come and get them and then drive them back, then sure. She could even offer. But unless the entire campus and community is out of hot water, there's probably somewhere much closer and more convenient to shower than Mum's house two hours away round trip.

I remember having no hit water in my University Hall of Residence for about a week. We boiled kettles and took Sponge washes, or there were showers in another Hall or the gym that we could use.

I have a cold shower every day so I would think its a complete non-issue and they can get over it but if they really want a hot shower they can look for a gym or a swimming pool or ask a friend who's hot water is working. If they made their own way home of course they can shower but I would hope that my children wouldn't demand I drove to pick them up an hour away for a shower just because they had cold water for two days.

And of course there are other options, like boiling water in a kettle to fill a basin with warm water for washing hair. I lived half a year in a house where the washing facilities were buckets of water in the sauna and I managed it, and I had really long hair then!

I agree. Honestly, a young person should be able to navigate a couple of days with no hot running water. I wouldn't have dreamed of expecting my parents to rush to my aid when I was that age.

Thank you’ me either!!!