Allowing college kids to deal with cold showers for 2 days

[Randicrawfordcoaching]

A mom posted in a group that her college kids had to deal with cold showers for two days and she asked if she should go get her and bring her home. Mom lives an hour away. I made a post and said absolutely not! They are in college and can figure it out! Parents came out of the woodwork freaking out on me and said if they could help with something small like this, they absolutely would do it. I’m horrified that we coddle our college kids the way we do. AIBU🤷‍♀️😂

Get a milk bottle. And fill it with warm water, flannel, soap. Honestly, don’t people know how to survive on limited water???

Kettle and a flannel??

If I didn't have access to hot water for showers, I would go round to a friend's, or try to locate a public shower facility, e.g. at a gym or swimming pool and use that. I would certainly expect a child at university to think along similar lines before contemplating potentially spending around 4 hours driving to and from their university to collect them and deliver them back.

great question - what they should do is find somewhere else to shower - go to a different dorm - find off campus housing friends, go the athletic center, use the sink OR, how about don't shower for 2 days - it's not going to kill them. it's ridiculous that we are so worried that our young adult kids can't figure this out - we have to let them grow up at some point!

When my adult sons boiler broke and he had no hot water or heating for 3 days, until new one fitted, he came back home to have a hot shower and warm up. I loaned him a plug in oil heater too. Surely most parents would help out their DC if they easily could. My adult DS does things for me including moving back into my home to feed my dogs and cats when I go on holiday.

A cold shower in winter is lovely, it makes you feel much warmer when you get out, as opposed to a hot shower which leaves you shivering as soon as you get out of the water and feel the relatively cooler room temperature.

Did you drive four hours to facilitate his showers…. On a daily basis?

This is a bit different I’m not suggesting we don’t help our kids

i adore my DDs but no way in hot hell would I drive them 2 hours to take a hot shower at home. If my DD asked this of me, I’d be utterly embarrassed that I’d raised such a weak and pathetic adult.

I‘m betting there are other college kids who think the „hot showers are a human right“ kids are pathetic as well. I want the world led by the cold shower kids, not the hot showered ones.

As an American who lives in a very wintery state and who does not think driving 6 hours to another city is a big deal, driving to fetch college aged students for a hot shower when cold water is available, I find this absurd. I’m sure I’m not the only American who thinks this is ridiculous coddling.

Nobody has to have a cold shower though. Sink, flannel, kettle.

If it’s university owned they should be on it ASAP for what they charge.

college - is this American? I can tell you what would happen there, they would use the showers in the next hall for a day. Inconvenient but not as much as going home.

You know that’s not the same as what’s being described in the OP, yes?

It was more a comment on the use of "mom" and "college". I don't know how American unis work in terms of halls.😀

That isn’t what the OP was about. No one is banning their uni kids from coming home to have a shower. Your son organised for the boiler to be fixed and I’m guessing you didn’t ask around SM as to whether you should pick him up and bring him home?

Snap.

There’s guidance and there’s mollycoddling. I’m a believer in guidance but not of mollycoddling.

I don't know about all universities but certainly at my alma mater all current students get free access to the sports centre.

And even if they don't I'm sure booking in for a swim for a couple of days isn't exactly going to break the bank.

What is the sex of the child (wrong word?). I say this because I remember "lynx showers" from the 90s. That was spraying am ungodly amount of lynx deodorant instead of washing. Believe me 2 days with no shower was nothing!

Also festivals = days without showers. Teenagers cope when the conditions are right.

(Also i only shower 1/2 times a week...I still have friends and a job at 50!)

Neither of my dcs do.
You need to have a gym membership, which they don’t.

Anyone can pay £8 (or less) and access the changing rooms & showers at many swim pools. It's quicker & cheaper than a train ticket home.

Then they can go round to a mate’s.

A day pass is still likely to be cheaper than fuel for a two hour long drive.

Got it! Many have residence halls often called dorms (dormitories) with a bunch of rooms (eg 20) who share an all-floor shower and toilets (bathrooms)

They can surely ask a friend to use their shower, or go to a hall of residence, or use the one in the gym, or boil a kettle and have a wash, or even have a quick cold shower, which is great for the immune system and to wake you up for the day. If they want to go all the way home for a shower, then fine, but I wouldn't drive to collect them for the purpose.