Husband giving me an ultimatum

[confusedwife847]

Dh and I have been married for 3 years.
Recently we’ve been having challenges with his dc. Sc is at the age they’ve realised parents aren’t together and is starting to want them back.
I normally give dh lifts to get his son as the buses take quite a while.
Today I’m not feeling well mentally, recovering from a breakdown so I asked dh to catch the bus.
First of all he gave me the silent treatment.
Then he said if he catches the bus he won’t be coming home.
When I challenged this he tried to change the wording.
Then he said if he catches the bus he won’t be talking to me when he gets home and he’ll he sleeping on the sofa.
Again I confronted this and then he said I don’t look unwell. I said how on earth do you want me to look unwell; harm myself 🤷‍♀️
I refused to give in and said I am not well enough to drive. Then he did his usual of becoming all mega apologetic, puppy dog eyes and saying sorry etc.

chat GPT said this is emotional blackmail. My friend thinks it’s bordering on emotional abuse. It’s not the first time he’s done this.
I just don’t know if I can come back from this hurt.

Yes it’s emotional abuse. Why are you even with him?

let him go and not come back, start making plans now to chuck him out

Change the locks when he is that out.
why can’t he drive?
What a dick.

This is emotional abuse

You are not his personal taxi he is a grown man who can get himself to wherever he needs to be

The fact he doesn't care about your mental well being is a red flag

God, why are you with him?

He’s shown you his cards I’m sorry to say. You’ve been given a taster of what a horrible man he really is.

You don't need a man like this in your life.

Maybe focus on getting yourself better in the short term, and then think about ending the relationship. You don't have to deal with everything at once, unless you think that his behaviour is actively contributing to your poor mental health.

He sounds awful - manipulative and definitely not giving you the support you should expect from a partner. What’s stopping you from telling him you’re fine with him “not coming back”?

Is there a reason he cannot learn to drive? Assuming not, if he doesn’t want to take public transport everywhere, he should learn to drive. I would not be a taxi service to someone who chooses not to drive.

Tell him not to bother coming back.

It’s 100 percent abuse. His needs and his childcare needs are not your responsibility.

I would throw this fish back. I suspect some time to breathe and be yourself without those eggshells would be a proper lift to your mental health!

He’s a manipulative arsehole. Let him not come back - unfortunately he doesn’t mean it, he will turn back up and try and punish you by being silent and horrible, he can get gone.

If he couldn't get his DC without you that's reason for him to be upset but he can, it just takes him longer and he doesn't want the hassle. Your MH isn't good but he's still happy to threaten you with not coming back then backpeddles? Quite frankly Op it's three years and he tries to blackmail you, you could do much, much better than him

I know he was saying it to get me to change my mind but no way was I giving into manipulation.
He chooses not to drive as apparently he’s too nervous.
Why am I still with him? I’m questioning it right now. He has a really loving and caring side but I’m starting to think it’s all just an act. He knows the right things to say to smooth things over.

I’m not surprised you are emotionally unwell.

can’t begin to imagine why his relationship with the children’s mother ended.

LTB and put yourself first.

He’s an arsehole. None of that is acceptable. You told him you weren’t well enough to drive and instead of showing basic care, he punished you, tried to guilt you, and then did his usual fake apology act. Emotional blackmail at best, emotional abuse more likely. You don’t need to “come back” from this. You need to decide how much more of this you’re willing to tolerate, because he’s an arsehole.

Let’s not get into the requirement that you be his bloody chauffeur in the first place.

The Silent Treatment is a recognised sign of abuse.. Op you are in an abusive relationship.. Stop being grateful for the crumbs of normality he gives you.

Does he have a driving licence?

LEAVE
THIS
MAN

You need Chat GPT to tell you that this is unaccpetable?

Can he not get a taxi if he can't drive? Why is he relying on you to collect his kid? He sounds like a prize twunt. And as for the other stuff!

Why did his relationship with his children's mother fail?

Why do you need chatGPT to tell you this is unreasonable behaviour?

you deserve more than this man.

Give HIM an ultimatum; is there anything he desperately wants to retrieve before you change the locks?

Abusers always have the manipulative 'better' qualities, it's exactly how they keep the person the are abusing disorientated and on their hook..believe the unpleasant part...that's reality

Just tell him to fuck off, get the bus and don't bother come back because he's a complete twat.
Mega apologies and puppy dog eyes? That makes me feel murderous on your behalf.
Get rid of him, you deserve better.

Please do not have children with this man or have anymore if you have. He is awful, get rid of him. He will only get worse