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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For not wanting to spend another Christmas Day with his batshit family?

229 replies

MsCrowly · 09/11/2025 14:39

When I first met DP’s family they seemed absolutely lovely, really really nice people. Charity work at the church, voluntary work at the local primary school, his dad cut the elderly neighbours grass throughout summer - I could go on but honestly they seemed like amazing people. So when Dp told me his mum had invited us around for Christmas dinner I happily accepted. On the run up to Christmas Day he told me his family were a bit wild at Christmas so be prepared but with what I knew about them I assumed he meant his dad had a few too many sherrys and tended to start singing Elvis or something!

No.

It was fucking awful. They were all drunk by time we got there at 12. His mother was ffing, blinding and cunting all over the place, his dad was watching world war 2 documentaries and screaming about how the kids of today would be too pussy to fight - when we first arrived his sister launched into a verbal attack saying it was just like him to turn up like a vulture when someone else was cooking 🫤 DP said we were invited so she screamed “so was fucking Judas”

over the course of the day his mother threw a glass of wine over his dads head, his sister continued picking arguments with everyone until she ultimately launched a tub of quality street across the room in rage, his dad started throwing up to which his mum got handfuls of it in kitchen roll and tried to smear it across his face - by the end of the day his mum was sat drunk in tears saying she wished she’d joined the army?!? His dad was passed out upstairs, his sister was sat furiously watching Grease screaming at everyone to stop talking and DP was drunk and going around squashing chocolates into the walls.

Couldn’t wait to get out - anyway he’s now asked if we can go this year considering how everyone enjoyed it so much last year, I was like “you joking? Everyone was arguing!!” and he got defensive saying it’s Christmas, people drink and get silly - all families do that. Mine don’t!!! A few drinks yeah but fighting and arguining? Nope

Thing is if I don’t go I’ll be alone Christmas Day - do I go or have a quiet (lonely?) one by myself? And AIBu to think this isn’t how normal families celebrate Christmas?

OP posts:
sweatervest · 09/11/2025 18:06

honestly i just literally laughed out loud at the cliff richard and headlock things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know it's not funny but i was probably laughing out of shock.

my ex mil used to audibly grimace if george michael was on the tv (she is/was very homophobic)

also i would go to the christmas this year and then it will be absolute fodder for you to off-load on here and i am very invested and agog at what the Family Batshit gets up to. wtaf.

but i totally understand if you'd rather not go. (is hopefully what your partner will say to you too)

Onthemaintrunkline · 09/11/2025 18:09

I have never heard anything like this! I’m asking myself if I live under a rock and this is how some people celebrate Christmas 😳. I mean wow just wow!!

I’m sorry if I sound prudish to some, but this is probably one of the worst posts I’ve read, and your Partner not only thinks this behaviour is OK but wants you to endure a 2nd helping of this truly hellish day??

’No’ it’s a complete sentence. Never in a million years would I be entertaining myself to a second performance with this lot!

LBFseBrom · 09/11/2025 18:12

I would definitely rather be alone than with them. I'm surprised your partner wasn't embarrassed by them, they sound dreadful.

I'd seriously consider extracating myself from the family altogether, if possible.

MatchaMatchaMatcha · 09/11/2025 18:13

God, what must they be like at funerals??

happysinglemama · 09/11/2025 18:14

Either do what you did before meeting him or go for the entertainment

Anyusernamewilldo8963 · 09/11/2025 18:17

I'm another one that's thinking this is made up surely lmao are you secretly a script writer and trying to get a new Christmas movie made and seeing if it gets much response before you take it to the movie execs 😂 on the one hand I'd absolutely go but stay sober(ish(i mean you'd have to have some alcohol you couldn't be stone cold sober!)) And then start a new thread on Christmas day with live updates!! I mean you can dine out on these stories for years (and get videos cos no one will believe you!) But on the other hand if you genuinely feel like you could be attacked/hurt by a stray flying sprout then I had a Christmas day alone pre kids and honestly it was brilliant! New pj's, chocolate, alcohol and full control of the tv remote, I had a blast! Just make sure DP packs his toothbrush and stays overnight with his parents rather than coming home drunk as a skunk and ruining your lovely day

itsgettingweird · 09/11/2025 18:19

Alone sounds a ffaaaarrrrrr better option than enduring that again!

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 09/11/2025 18:22

I’m judging you a bit for staying with a man that squashes chocolate into walls and puts his sister in a headlock.

Can you really not find someone better?

coxesorangepippin · 09/11/2025 18:23

This thread is brilliant

😂

The mother screaming 'cunt' at an old bloke peering in

Overthemhills · 09/11/2025 18:33

I’m sorry OP but this has made me laugh so much - I bet it was awful to live through but Christ it’s hilarious to read about!
I thought I had the weird in-law Christmases but this is superior in detail and how you relay it.
oh and definitely don’t go again unless you fancy having another fantastic story of insanity for us (ps my in-laws are similar in type but it’s usually one of the adult children cunting at everything and vomiting). I used to find it hilarious but not so much after last year when FIL called me “well loose” (he I think meant drunk, I was about 2 drinks in but I think it speaks to how drunk they were that sobriety looked like that).

elfendom1 · 09/11/2025 18:33

Morningsleepin · 09/11/2025 14:58

Made up or true life, you have a real talent for writing, OP. If you don't do it for a living you should

I disagree, 'launched, screaming' totally overdone

Linenpickle · 09/11/2025 18:36

Your dh has one fucked up family.

NorrisToenail · 09/11/2025 18:38

Any chance you could go and live post on here throughout the day? Plenty of people having a boring or lonely Christmas would love the entertainment!

ThatLemonBear · 09/11/2025 18:39

Does your DP’s family live in Walford? (YANBU to swerve it, I’d rather watch the soaps on Christmas Day than partake in them)

Fedupofwimps · 09/11/2025 18:45

Oh, I would definitely go just for the entertainment (admittedly I do have a thick skin so I could have a few vinos and laugh at their antics...I appreciate this wouldn't be for everyone!)
If you do get tempted to go take as many surreptitious photos (extra points for videos!) of them as you can 🤣 you would quite literally own his family with that kind of evidence, especially when they are back on their best behaviour at church 😉

HideousKinky · 09/11/2025 18:46

I haven't stopped laughing at the Judas comment yet

Changename12 · 09/11/2025 18:46

You call this man DP, as in partner. So this means you must be in a committed relationship with him. Surely if this is the case, he would not expect you to stay at home on your own on Christmas Day. Ask him, to give his parents home a miss this year.

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 09/11/2025 18:48

MsCrowly · 09/11/2025 14:39

When I first met DP’s family they seemed absolutely lovely, really really nice people. Charity work at the church, voluntary work at the local primary school, his dad cut the elderly neighbours grass throughout summer - I could go on but honestly they seemed like amazing people. So when Dp told me his mum had invited us around for Christmas dinner I happily accepted. On the run up to Christmas Day he told me his family were a bit wild at Christmas so be prepared but with what I knew about them I assumed he meant his dad had a few too many sherrys and tended to start singing Elvis or something!

No.

It was fucking awful. They were all drunk by time we got there at 12. His mother was ffing, blinding and cunting all over the place, his dad was watching world war 2 documentaries and screaming about how the kids of today would be too pussy to fight - when we first arrived his sister launched into a verbal attack saying it was just like him to turn up like a vulture when someone else was cooking 🫤 DP said we were invited so she screamed “so was fucking Judas”

over the course of the day his mother threw a glass of wine over his dads head, his sister continued picking arguments with everyone until she ultimately launched a tub of quality street across the room in rage, his dad started throwing up to which his mum got handfuls of it in kitchen roll and tried to smear it across his face - by the end of the day his mum was sat drunk in tears saying she wished she’d joined the army?!? His dad was passed out upstairs, his sister was sat furiously watching Grease screaming at everyone to stop talking and DP was drunk and going around squashing chocolates into the walls.

Couldn’t wait to get out - anyway he’s now asked if we can go this year considering how everyone enjoyed it so much last year, I was like “you joking? Everyone was arguing!!” and he got defensive saying it’s Christmas, people drink and get silly - all families do that. Mine don’t!!! A few drinks yeah but fighting and arguining? Nope

Thing is if I don’t go I’ll be alone Christmas Day - do I go or have a quiet (lonely?) one by myself? And AIBu to think this isn’t how normal families celebrate Christmas?

No A&E visit /No police call out?

just a quiet one then so it was!

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 09/11/2025 18:52

Glass of wine poured over the head

or

a glass of wine to the head?

The devils in the detail don’t you know ..

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 09/11/2025 18:52

JUSAS ESCARIOT AS I LIVE AND BREATHE!!!!

Dollymylove · 09/11/2025 18:56

Christmas alone sounds a far better bet. I would have a curry, chilled bottle of wine, box of chocs and feet up in front of the telly. What's not to like?

outerspacepotato · 09/11/2025 18:59

It's Purgemas. That's their day to let loose and get that shit they've been repressing all year out.

Do they take Boxing Day literally?

Whatwouldnanado · 09/11/2025 19:00

Hideous. Do you want your future children to experience this? Run.

Grapewrath · 09/11/2025 19:01

This sounds hilarious tbh but no Yanbu

Imbusytodaysorry · 09/11/2025 19:01

@MsCrowly i voted urbu. Because I cannot believe you haven’t had the discussion before now .

your dp was smearing chocolate on the walls while drunk ?
He knew his family acted the way they did and invited you last year and Instead of being mortified he invited you again this year .
Just wow!

last year I’d have told him you will have to be together although apart from his family as it was disgusting .
How many weeks untill Xmas why has it not been discussed .