For not wanting to spend another Christmas Day with his batshit family?

[MsCrowly]

When I first met DP’s family they seemed absolutely lovely, really really nice people. Charity work at the church, voluntary work at the local primary school, his dad cut the elderly neighbours grass throughout summer - I could go on but honestly they seemed like amazing people. So when Dp told me his mum had invited us around for Christmas dinner I happily accepted. On the run up to Christmas Day he told me his family were a bit wild at Christmas so be prepared but with what I knew about them I assumed he meant his dad had a few too many sherrys and tended to start singing Elvis or something!

No.

It was fucking awful. They were all drunk by time we got there at 12. His mother was ffing, blinding and cunting all over the place, his dad was watching world war 2 documentaries and screaming about how the kids of today would be too pussy to fight - when we first arrived his sister launched into a verbal attack saying it was just like him to turn up like a vulture when someone else was cooking 🫤 DP said we were invited so she screamed “so was fucking Judas”

over the course of the day his mother threw a glass of wine over his dads head, his sister continued picking arguments with everyone until she ultimately launched a tub of quality street across the room in rage, his dad started throwing up to which his mum got handfuls of it in kitchen roll and tried to smear it across his face - by the end of the day his mum was sat drunk in tears saying she wished she’d joined the army?!? His dad was passed out upstairs, his sister was sat furiously watching Grease screaming at everyone to stop talking and DP was drunk and going around squashing chocolates into the walls.

Couldn’t wait to get out - anyway he’s now asked if we can go this year considering how everyone enjoyed it so much last year, I was like “you joking? Everyone was arguing!!” and he got defensive saying it’s Christmas, people drink and get silly - all families do that. Mine don’t!!! A few drinks yeah but fighting and arguining? Nope

Thing is if I don’t go I’ll be alone Christmas Day - do I go or have a quiet (lonely?) one by myself? And AIBu to think this isn’t how normal families celebrate Christmas?

No-one was "screaming" OP. We all know this is 99.99% MN hyperbole.

I’d rather be alone that go through that. I hope you have a peaceful Christmas.

I know it sounds like a nightmare to experience but I did laugh at your account of it. Lovely, normal family turning feral - if you go this year, take more notes and sell it to Netflix as an anti-Christmas film!

Being serious, I wouldn’t want to go through that. Could you suggest you go out for lunch. I’d hope they’d behave better in public. Then your partner gets to see them and then you can both go home and chill.

Good luck!

Hard agree with this though 😭😭

DP was drunk and going around squashing chocolates into the walls
I could never be with a man who disrespects chocolate that way. Why are you still with him?

Sigh! Now I have to get up from my comfortable armchair to put this in my file labelled ‘Things that didn’t happen in real life’.

Good grief, that sounds like a wildlife documentary!
Stay home, and rethink relationship if your DP thinks thats normal…

I’m still laughing at squashing chocolates into the wall .

Lucky you to have a life where this is so beyond the realms of possibility. Sadly Xmas is like this for lots of families. I can think of a few in my life.

Your wedding will be interesting

Christmas alone would be blissful in comparison. I wouldn't go either.

It's like living in an episode of 'Enders! Sod that, don't go! x

So sorry but your account made me laugh so much. I am sorry. I hope you can avoid it this year.

Growing up my family christmases were pretty bad, and certainly elements of it could compete with your account OP. But as I was a teen we cousins used to take ourselves off to another room and take turns popping each others pimples and just let the adults get on with the fights. An ambulance had to be called one year when one of my uncles broke another uncle's nose.

We were essentially a 'naice' family too. Filled with professionals such as teachers, nurses and a vicar.

Tag along?

I’m sorry OP but this really made me laugh, you have a brilliant way with words!

I honestly have never heard of a more insane sounding Christmas. What the actual fuck. I love “furiously watching Grease” and his mum talking about how she wishes she’d joined the army. Also what the hell was the part about her rubbing sick in her husbands face? Jesus!!!

I desperately need to know if you have seen them since, have they been normal? Do they only behave like this at Christmas?

Im half tempted to go again to see what this years drama brings. But at the same time, that’s me making light of the situation and it isn’t funny for you. I’d say no to your partner and remind him of how absurd last year was. And if you ever consider marriage or children with him, make it clear from the off that your child will never be around these people on Christmas Day (or…ever?). How old are you, out of interest?

Hell yeah, no contest! :-)

They sound as rough as sandpaper and there’s no way I’d be subjecting myself to that spectacle for a second time. This relationship needs rethinking. Sometimes in these situations you can take your partner to your own family’s Christmas and the stark contrast ends up being a wake up call about the dysfunction in their own family. It doesn’t sound like that’s an option here though.

If you were to have children with him it would end up in a cycle of him wanting to take them there for holidays, claiming his family will behave if the children are there, they absolutely won’t behave, the children will get traumatised, he’ll get sulky and moody, etc. Until the next year, where it will be “Well after last year they definitely won’t…”

As an aside, some of you need to read more. Every time there’s any sort of description in a post we have users gushing “You should be an author!” 😂

I’d actually really like you to go and report back.

Please?

This cannot be real. If it is, your partner and his family are all complete nutjobs. The fact that your DP doesn’t see that this is utterly mental and not just a ‘a bit wild’ is a red flag.

Yes, mumsnet needs this 😭

I'd definitely rather spend the day on my own than go through that again

Nope, I’d rather spend the day by myself. They sound hideous.

OP please forgive me, it made me laugh. What a shower! Hole yourself up in a hotel for Christmas and write a play about them, there's a whole new career waiting for you.

Christ. Not only would I not be going, I'd be dumping your DP! No way would I want to be with someone who thinks this is normal. Please OP do not have children with him or marry into that family. Have a lovely peaceful Christmas on your own! Haven't you got a nice friend who'd invite you for Xmas dinner? I'd happily have any of my friends for Christmas Day if I knew they were alone.

This. I’d probably love it 😂