Husband and Instagram row

[NotaMumYet9323]

Last night my DH was swiping though Instagram and up came a girl posing in her gym clothes to show off her bum. I asked who's that, he said just an an advert, I said doesn't look like an advert...then it was 'oh she's a wrestler' I looked her up and majority of her posts are in swimwear/undies and hardly any wrestling content

AIBU in thinking he tried to lie and cover up with 'just an ad'

We've had some issues before regarding insta models etc, a lot of his friends have been caught out ogling and liking posts.

Do men ever grow up?

I wouldn't be happy if my H was sleezing on other women on social media. Which is obviously what he is doing.
Does he not understand marriage vows?

It might not be an ad but a promoted post or suggestion that just appears in his timeline without him actually following the account or going to the page to look at it. He’s on social media, things like this are going to pop up, even without his bidding.

I get loads of posts pop up. Like a pp said it's not necessarily a choice.

Do you normally check over his shoulder while he’s on instagram to ensure he doesn’t see a woman’s bum?

This.

and I’m the most suspicious of online cheating crap having been on receiving end in my ex marriage.

is there something else that makes you worried about his phone behaviour ? Sounds like you have a trust concern with him -

The decent respectful ones do

Sorry should have clarified, he follows the account. I was sitting right next to him at the time, so no I wasn't just looking over his shoulder 🙄

If my partner was monitoring my Instagram to check whether I was looking at shirtless men (which I am), I’d think he was being a controlling nutter to be honest.

I don’t think it’s realistic to expect any adult human being with a libido not to enjoy seeing attractive bodies now and again. If all he’s doing is glancing at a picture and hitting ‘Like’ I really couldn’t imagine caring about this. They’re models and influencers, not women he’s actually pursuing. I wouldn’t want my partner messaging someone or following random women’s private accounts, but I wouldn’t give a shit if he was following a few attractive models. I’ve no idea if he does - my guess is not, as he doesn’t really ‘get’ Instagram - but I really don’t give it any thought.

I follow loads of male models and actors with thirst trap accounts. My DP finds it hilarious and isn’t insecure about it. He certainly doesn’t think it’s disrespectful or threatening.

I find it interesting that you ask “Do men ever grow up?” Instead of asking yourself why you chose to marry this man.

Do you never look at attractive men on the internet?

I'm sure wrestlers have lots of female followers on Instagram too. Do they need to grow up?

Its Instagram, not OF or porn. Stop being so controlling. If my DP monitored what I look at on social media he would be out the door.

Does he know you’re discussing him on a public forum? Is he sitting next to you know while you post about him? Do you follow any famous men on social media? You sound very controlling.

Marriage vows don’t prohibit anyone from looking at a photograph of another human being.

Why are you blaming a woman for a man sleazing on social media?

This is not a big deal!

Do you never admire an attractive person on social media, or the TV, or even (gasp) in real life?

Not the same thing, and we all know why. So let’s not pretend it is.

What's the difference, then?

Do men ever grow up? Most of them, no. Do most men ogle women's bums and tits on some level or other, yep they do. And women who think it's "not my Nigel" are (usually) deluding themselves.

Cannot imagine caring about this

Of course they don't.
But a married man who spends his time ogling photos of women's bums is hardly being faithful to his marriage vows is he?

What marriage vows did you take that prohibit you from finding other people attractive forevermore?

I mean the easiest milestone is…does he like wrestling?

1. seeing an attractive person in a naturally occurring setting.

2. following someone on social media for the sole purpose of leching over their content.

As if you’re not aware, but there you go anyway.