Husband and Instagram row

[NotaMumYet9323]

Last night my DH was swiping though Instagram and up came a girl posing in her gym clothes to show off her bum. I asked who's that, he said just an an advert, I said doesn't look like an advert...then it was 'oh she's a wrestler' I looked her up and majority of her posts are in swimwear/undies and hardly any wrestling content

AIBU in thinking he tried to lie and cover up with 'just an ad'

We've had some issues before regarding insta models etc, a lot of his friends have been caught out ogling and liking posts.

Do men ever grow up?

Many of us look and admire good looking people but it’s the ‘liking’ or posting comments that I wouldn’t be comfortable with.

They can grow up. But it should be simple.
you “hey, I’m not happy you following people like that”
him “oh ok no problem I’ll stop doing it”

Why? Do you really think these celebrities and influencers give two shits about the people liking or commenting on their posts?

And if someone said that to me, I'd think they were ever so slightly insane and would give them a wide berth forever.

It would make me feel uncomfortable if for example posted ‘nice bum’ or something like that. I’d think why does he need to write that, anyone can see it and is he hoping for her to reply or like his comment?

I don't see what is paranoid and insecure about taking marriage vows seriously.

You and your H are perfectly entitled to have an open marriage as regards your attraction to other people.

But I take issue with you trying to tell other people that your view of marriage is the norm.

Most people expect their spouse to be faithful to them in thought and deed. They assume that their spouse won't spend their time checking out other people. That's what marriage vows are about. Otherwise why bother getting married? Apart from possibly marriage being just a convenience for bringing up children.

But there's no evidence that that's what's happening here?

Women ogle over men all the time. Look at the thread about "hot" actors.

lol, finding other people attractive =/= having an open marriage.

You sound very traditional in your views. I'm genuinely glad it works for you but t seems very oppressive and controlling to me.

Sshh. This is MN where only men are lechy. It's "different" when women do it 😉

are we on the same thread? What are you on about?
What "marriage vows" have banned you from looking at other people? 😂

Most people expect their spouse to be faithful to them in thought and deed.
Are you that insecure and ridiculous in real life?

You and your H are perfectly entitled to have an open marriage
please someone tell her what an open marriage actually is 😂😂

But with that attitude, I couldn't blame your poor partner to actually look for a breath of fresh air elsewhere

And to think they walk among us 😂

Who said anything about people being " banned" from looking at anything? Certainly not me.

The point i was making was OP has every right to be upset about her H ogling photos of other women.

The cool wives on this thread are happy for their H's to ogle who they want and that's their choice, their marriages. But just because they are ok with this doesnt mean to say the rest of us have to be.

Insecure much 🫣

Male attention toward women online is often viewed (accurately, the vast majority of the time) through a lens of sexualization and objectification, while female attention toward men tends to be interpreted as admiration or interest rather than disrespect. Men are less socially penalized or made vulnerable by being seen as objects of desire, whereas women often are. So even if the actions look similar, the social meaning and power dynamics behind them aren’t the same.

If you’re with a man that is happy to be part of that culture, then good luck to you. But actively disparaging a woman for knowing why it doesn’t fly and certainly shouldn’t when she’s in a relationship with that man AND feels uncomfortable with it? No.

It’s got noting to do with trust. It’s about knowing whether you’re married to a lech or not and whether you’re happy to continue a relationship with said lech.

Knowing your bar has zero to do with trust.

What’s not wanting to be married to a man who pervs on women on social media got to do with insecurity?

Unless he was sitting next to me wanking over her i wouldnt give a shit, because i'm a grown up.

And maybe you should grow up.

Enjoy your low bar. Leave women alone if they wish to raise their’s.

Are you always so melodramatic, or is this a special occasion?

If you genuinely believe your husband doesn't admire women on social media, you're deluded.

I’m glad to say that only accepting decent behaviour from men is the norm for me. You do you though, even if that includes trying to take other women down a peg for their concerns, I guess.

Why is wanking the line? You prude!!

Also. Everyone is missing the point and it’s giving me menty b

😂 you're very entertaining, I'll give you that.

Curious as a wrestling fan, which wrestler was it? There is a possibility it's a retired wrestler who now mostly posts ads/content unrelated to sports but still kinda related (like promoting leggings or whatever).