To stop being polite about this

[Elconejorojo]

I'm a Brit living abroad, been there many years and speak the local language fluently though with an accent. Am tall and blond, most people here are smaller and darker than me.

I'm absolutely fed up with shop assistants etc trying to speak English to me after I ask them a question perfectly in the local language. There is clearly no need to switch language- i appreciate they are excited to show off their English or want to offer good customer service or whatever, but increasingly it just feels like I'm being reminded that I'm foreign and need to get back in my box.

WIBU for telling them that their unnecessary attempts to speak English make me feel like an outsider? A few times, I've asked people if they are speaking to me in English because I look foreign, and that shuts them up, but my partner (a local) says that's rude.

Interesting post on Instagram this week on the same point in France. The OP says they didn’t ’look’ French re dress sense. It used to annoy me that people in Paris responded to me in English then eventually I d have to show them ID to prove I was English (mates in a pub).

I find people are really keen to use their English. Even in America, a shop assistant went all RP when speaking to us, brilliant!

This happened to my sister when she lived in Paris. I’m not really sure what you can do about it

Is it Spain by any chance?
I lived there over 10 years, they did this all the time and I LOATHED it. I spoke the language fluently, albeit with an accent and I found it bloody rude and made me feel 'other'.

I remember living abroad, speaking the language really well and a guy talking to me in a bar. I was practically fluent. He said to me in English " I ...... Am...... A ........ (Switched to his language to ask 'how do you say journalist?') ........ Journalist"

It was tedious. I was almost perfect at the language but he insisted on using English

Weird. I have noticed that noone speaks English in France unless you go to tourist hotspots.

OK I really don't get this (not English). Are there many foreigners in Birmingham so you consider it a non-English city?

Just say ‘No English’ in a vaguely germanic accent.

It was my go to line when being chatted up by randoms in the dark. Not in a germanic accent though.

A lady who posts on TikTok is British, speaks fluent Spanish but her videos are people constantly replying to her in English. She's had some success by saying, in Spanish, 'I'm sorry I don't speak English,' and then telling them she speaks Polish. It will work until you bump into someone who speaks Polish at least!

I work in a truely global remote team, I am the only native english speaker. Team all live in their home countries. Its a big team, over 100 people.
Everyone speaks perfect english, all our work is in english, noone speaks to each other in any other language even groups of people from the same country.
English is the language of business. Most people from other countries either speak fluent english or want to speak it fluently as it is valuable in business. Therefore, if they get a chance to speak to a real english speaking person in english, they will want to do that to learn more words and practice. My team mates speak fluent english but there are always the odd obscure words they check with me and are excited to learn.
I imagine it is the same.

How dare they try to be polite and kind to you when they reasonably assume you are not native to the place. Utter bastards.

My parents are from abroad and they still have a heavy accent and get asked all the time where they are from. They don’t mind as they are born there. I’m not born there and have no particular accent and I get asked where I am from because of my looks. Can’t win - people never seem to mind their own business!

I think if you’re speaking well in the local language others should respond in their native language. I’d just keep replying in their language regardless and perhaps be nice and tell them how good their English is.

I had this too, I wanted to practise my language skills and they wanted to practise theirs! So I replied in their language. Best of both worlds

It happens all over.

I got the same on holiday in Montenegro. I obviously have an accent and few anglophones speak Montenegrin, so waiters in particular kept speaking Russian to me... When I said in Russian "I'm from Great Britain..." they immediately switched to English.

Hi you are taking it personally. My children both speak first language Welsh. I try and speak in Welsh but they always answer in English.Just keep trying.

I'm sorry, that must hurt.

I do worry that this is how my child will feel too, though too young to really understand for now. Child also tall and blonde like me and speaks perfect English and local language, and can't go around her home town without being othered, despite being a native of that town😣hopefully she will have a thicker skin about it than I do!

People quote The Lion King at locals all over Africa? That is outrageous! It's only the official language of a couple of countries. As far as I'm concerned that's like tourists saying, yeah the whole of Africa is the same place and I know that because of Disney! They should get their heads out of their arses and maybe study the country they're visiting a little before they get there.

And no, AFAIK I don't get preferential treatment. Certainly no queue jumping or anything like that.

But where does the 'kindness' come from? An assumption that i need help because I'm foreign? In that case, it's not kindness but condescension.

Goodness, can you not just ask your own children to reply to you in Welsh?

I’ve travelled a lot in France and Spain. At one time, if you spoke in their language they were pleased and would talk to you in the same language. These days almost everyone wants to practice their English. I honestly think that’s all it is and you’re wrong to get offended.

I'm not offended, I'm othered.

What does othered mean?

It means to be treated like an alien due to a perceived difference. I'd like to be able to go to the shops without being told that I'm 'not one of us'

They just want to practice their English. It’s not personal, you need to let it go. It’s really not worth the headspace.