To stop being polite about this

[Elconejorojo]

I'm a Brit living abroad, been there many years and speak the local language fluently though with an accent. Am tall and blond, most people here are smaller and darker than me.

I'm absolutely fed up with shop assistants etc trying to speak English to me after I ask them a question perfectly in the local language. There is clearly no need to switch language- i appreciate they are excited to show off their English or want to offer good customer service or whatever, but increasingly it just feels like I'm being reminded that I'm foreign and need to get back in my box.

WIBU for telling them that their unnecessary attempts to speak English make me feel like an outsider? A few times, I've asked people if they are speaking to me in English because I look foreign, and that shuts them up, but my partner (a local) says that's rude.

As someone who has lived and worked in three foreign countries, I do not think you are wrong to feel offended. I suspect most of the people here saying as such have not lived many years abroad, especially in places in which they can't blend in with the local population. Xenophobia is growing around the world and often comes out in passive-aggressive gestures and micro aggressions. Dealing with it day after day is exhausting and painful. Your feelings are valid. Just keep speaking the local language and don't feel bad about telling someone you prefer not to speak English. It's not rude and you have every right to speak a language you have spent years learning to fluency.

Maybe they just want to improve their English?

@Valeriekat it’s still rude in that case. Think of it the other way round, If I was in London and encountered someone with a strong French accent and started speaking French to them, it would be like saying their English isn’t good enough. I don’t think there’s anything sinister in the OP’s case, it’s probably what they’re trained to do, but understand it’s a bit annoying.

It's rude, basically. You should reply to someone in the language they use to you - if it turns out after a couple of sentences that they are struggling, then fine, switch at that point.

I can totally see how locals’ use of English is creating an integration barrier for you. Situations like this are usually about more than just the language. Do the locals have a different mindset than you? As a bilingual person living in the US and married to an American, I can attest that there are things I can say in my native language to other speakers of that language that I would never translate into English and vice versa. 80% of things are OK in both languages, but certain things just don’t sound right (PC?) in one or the other tongue. Could this be the reason why the locals prefer to stick to English with you?