To be offended at my husband saying he prefers his mum’s cooking

[marinapl]

We’re at his parents’ house for the weekend. He says “I love coming here for the food” ie his mum’s cooking. I cook literally every day for this man and our kids. Some are admittedly relatively easy, like just rubbing some salmon with chimichurri sauce and sticking it in the oven or a simple curry, others more complicated like a bolognaise from scratch or trying to cook Korean cuisine etc.
I don’t get on well his mum so I’m not sure if that’s what has offended me or the fact that clearly my cooking is sub par but he opts to still eat it daily.

I am honestly not a great cook, but my kids love my food. They rave about it, which is a bit embarrassing. It's just because it's what they grew up with, it's nostalgic and comforting..not actually amazing. If it was another woman's cooking he was raving about maybe I'd be annoyed but not his mum's.

How dare he say something nice to his mum. Bastard.

🤣🤣🤣 it means the suns are different and that’s fine too! Do you even like him???

I worked as chef for years so my DIL would agree with DS that I am a far better cook. Your DH never compared you or said he didn't love your cooking though, did he?
Going to your parent's home and having your childhood favourite meals can feel like a hug, it's comforting. It's about so much more than the actual food.
It's not a competition and you admit you aren't keen on your MIL so you may be looking to find fault. If he does criticise your cooking he's free to make his own food.

Mine too! Apparently I was the only person who ever said her cooking was delicious, I fibbed. People still laugh (kindly) about the leeks that would have been in the oven for two hours and the meat for what must have been days. Her children all loved a Fray Bentos pie followed by Mr Kipling cakes with cold tinned custard.
One of my children once said “ I love it when visitors come. We get amazing food”. Good cook or bad mil might be putting in extra effort for visitors, I think that is lovely.

You are reading too much into he saying that.
He likes going to the mum's for the food as its nice. nowhere does that say he prefers it or that its better than yours.
I think going to my parents as they just cook things differently to me/DH. Different ideas around roasts etc.

I’d tell him he’s welcome to eat at his mum’s every day !

I didn't see anyway that he said he preferred his mums cooking . Just that he lives it.
As PP have said I think it's probably familiarity.

My OH cooked for me his famous " family" stew. It was rank( involved various cans of soup as a base) but obviously " home comfort" to him. And he's a very good cook

I don’t think it’s about the food necessarily.

My youngest son was telling me that in our house we make the best roast dinners in the world. That no restaurant can come close. That our house is full of wonderful food. The truth is, it’s just slightly above average. It’s ok. What he’s referring to is that there is lots of food. He has access to it, and he feels safe, warm and cosy in our house. It’s a feeling. If you have had a nice childhood, walking into your parents house with your mum cooking a shepherds pie is going to feel nice and evoke fond memories.

My eldest sends me texts asking me to cook things for him when back from uni.

My DC also think my MIL is a good cook, when she’s a shocker, but my DC have fond memories of her baking with them.

Don’t take it personally OP. X

Oh well, I’m sure my DH would say the same. My MIL is an amazing cook and makes incredible cakes; sadly I’m not on that level. I’m sure I could improve, but I’d rather spend the time doing other things, so - it is what it is.

But just because you can’t be as good, or better, that doesn’t make it your MIL’s fault, and it’s not something to get offended by.

Ah but I love courgettes, especially when they are free because someone I know ended up with a glut of them 😂 I do the usual with soffrito, peppers, tomatoes etc as a base to add the mince to, then bung in a load of courgettes from the freezer! Plus then I can tell myself there’s an extra portion of veg in each serving, and feel all virtuous 😂

No it doesn't. It implies it's different from home.

Yeah, I want a week in the sun every now and then, so I'll go to Miami. I don't fancy living there though, otherwise I would.

Maybe he like going to his Mums because she makes an absolutely spectacular roast. That doesn't mean he doesn't like your curries just as much. Difference is the spice of life.

You've basically chosen to take a really innocuous comment and make a really big deal over it.

Do you tell him he's the best at everything?

Doesn’t sound like he said anything negative about your food, just that he loves to come to his parents for food. Your food is everyday, I’m guessing theirs is more of a treat mixed with nostalgia. My partner makes a lovely roast but I still love to go round my parents for one as it takes me back to my childhood. I think you’re being way too sensitive.

This has literally brought tears to my eyes!

It’s true. My mum wasn’t a great cook, but I’d give a lot to be able to sit down to one of her meals again. And I’d compliment her. Perhaps I didn’t do that enough- or at all.

Yes - home cooking might not be anything special in terms of Michelin stars but it’s powerfully evocative if you’ve had a happy childhood.😢

You are being ridiculous. You are looking for a way to be offended.

he is being nice to his mum
dont take it a as an affront to you

Could it be a nostalgia thing ? Maybe she cooks things more traditional than you stew and dumplings , liver & bacon , lots of roast dinners etc ?
I don't think I would take it to heart so much but maybe pull him up on it and tell him he was being a little insensitive .

How on earth is he being insensitive? There's so many people on here that take offence to absolutely everything and God forbid any compliment or even the slightest one a husband might make towards his mum is somehow taken as a slight towards his wife. No one possibly in the real world could get worked up about this.

My husband loves his mums cooking and going there for food, even though he likes my cooking too. God, I love going to my MILs food, I'm delighted when anyone decides to cook for me (plus she's an amazing cook anyway!).

Petulance in an adult is not attractive.

Well YABU because you're putting words in his mouth.

If I went to my favourite restaurant or a friend's house who was a good cook, and said 'I love coming here for the food' it wouldn't mean I thought the food my partner or anyone else cooked for me was disgusting muck.

So it's clearly because you don't like her.

It sounds like you put real effort into providing good quality and varied food for everyone so I get why his comment was annoying.

But don’t take it to heart, you’re not in a cookery competition with his mum. He probably just wanted to say something nice to her and it’s an obvious compliment to give. Unless he has form for subtle digs then being appreciative of his mum doesn’t make him a bad DH.