To be offended at my husband saying he prefers his mum’s cooking

[marinapl]

We’re at his parents’ house for the weekend. He says “I love coming here for the food” ie his mum’s cooking. I cook literally every day for this man and our kids. Some are admittedly relatively easy, like just rubbing some salmon with chimichurri sauce and sticking it in the oven or a simple curry, others more complicated like a bolognaise from scratch or trying to cook Korean cuisine etc.
I don’t get on well his mum so I’m not sure if that’s what has offended me or the fact that clearly my cooking is sub par but he opts to still eat it daily.

Get his mum to teach him? Then he can cook at home and you can enjoy too

If bolognaise from scratch you describe as complicated I’m guessing you only make simple food and he craves the dishes his mum made, he also was complimenting his mum, perhaps to make her feel good.

bolognaise is one of the simplest things to make (sauté veg, add tomatoes, garlic, herbs, cook for an hour, brown off mince, add to sauce, cook pasta, serve

YABU Because you are hurt by what your husband said. It would be ridiculous to be “offended“ he didn’t say anything offensive. Why not try to improve your cooking skills?

@Springtimehere

so true, I loved my grandmothers simple English cooking, also traditional puddings - I can make many exotic dishes, patisserie, proper French dishes etc but her puddings….

He was just saying he liked his mum’s cooking, for goodness sake. Don’t make a big deal out of this! Is it part of a wider problem or are you looking for issues to bring up?

He didn't even say he prefers it...
I assume it's a nostalgic thing. My mum is a rubbish cook, my dad even worse so no such luck for me 😂

He didn't imply anything, you are being ridiculous.
He's making a compliment to his mum, who must have fed him for half his life and might appreciate he notices she makes his favourite meal or something.

Why do you attach so much importance to your cooking? Who cares?

And being jealous of his own mother, about meals? Seriously, you are being silly.

I haven't looked at your cooking, but in many families, you often eat or cook a more elaborate (and possibly unhealthy ) meal for visitors.

If you cook very elaborate food and his mum just served beans on toast, it's weird, but take the hint, give him more beans on toast 😂Or let him cook, why is it a woman's thing!

No one in the world makes a better ham salad sandwich than my mum, I don't know why, but it is the truth. Part of it is probably what I grew up eating, part of it is being at home in an environment that you feel fully settled in and the general familiarity. It's not a weird thing to comment on and it's not putting anyone down. It's how I feel. I think it's the same with your husband, he likes eating what he grew up with and how she does it. It's not a competition and it's not disparaging to you. It really isn't. I bet your mum does some dishes that no one else can replicate? My mum does shit asparagus if that helps. I didn't eat it for 20 years after leaving home because I thought that all asparagus tasted like that.

I could eat daily at a 3 Michelin star restaurant, but would still be happy to return to my mum's home cooking.

Omds my dad used to do this on the rare occasions we ate at Nanas, but the reality was and still is he loves my mums cooking. He actually loved my gt grandmother's cooking the best and still mentions it 40yrs after her death. Ultimately he knew how to keep his mum appeased, I think a lot of men do this, so as not to upset their mums. I wouldn't read into it

@marinapl Don't take it personal. He's grown up with his mum's cooking so it must be like madeleine cakes for him.
My DH AND my DC prefer my Mil's cooking and I really couldn't care less. She's an excellent cook and I don't feel I'm in competition with her. She's older than you are so has more experience- let her be the best cook and you can be the best wife/mum to your kids.

So what? You cook presumably because you and the kids need to eat anyway. Stop cooking for him if you feel so offended but he is allowed to like or even prefer his own mum’s cooking

Meh, I LOVE my dad's cooking. He makes the best food and I really enjoy it. Complimenting his food doesn't mean I hate it when DH cooks, just means I really enjoy his food. I think you are reading into this comment way too much.

My dh does that- makes everything into an either or. Sometimes a statement is exactly what it is and you don't need to look for the reverse or deeper meaning. I love going to my mums for food, I love going to my MIL's for food- I love going to a restaurant for food. However I still love being in my home that I've created with my family. All of those things can co-exist.

YABU. He didn't say it was better than yours, although it probably is if his mum has been cooking those dishes for years.

My mum makes a fantastic roast dinner. I never took offence to XH saying "I love to go to the farm for dinner". It was just a true fact.

I think you are making a drama over nothing

I love going to my sister's for food. She cooks great.

Also my mil does a much superior sunday roast to my husband...I love going there for that

I love going to certain restaurants for food as well... doesn't mean I don't enjoy when my husband cooks.

People can prefer certain meals from certain people. Doesn't mean the other person is a bad cook

Well, it is objectively more complicated than putting some sauce on salmon and sticking it in the oven.

This. This is a ridiculous post and you're massively overreacting. He didn't say anywhere he preferred his mum's cooking. And if he did, so what?

Reflect on your own children. I'm pretty sure you'll still want them to love coming to yours as adults for home cooked food. Both me and my husband love our mum's cooking, maybe more than each others. It isn't a competition.

Stop cooking so much for him, and stop trying to be in competition with his mum.

This

He didn't say he prefers his mum's cooking though - he just said he loves coming here for the food. Lots of people love their mum's cooking - I do and so do my kids! You're making it into a competition when it isn't one.

I think my DH does too. His mum boils vegetables to mush, he comments that mine are raw (they aren't)
Fuck him, cook himself or eat there.

I think YABU. He didn't say he likes it better or compare it. He just said he likes it which is nice. My husband and I both cook, and I like the food my husband makes, I also like the food my Mum makes and sometimes I just feel like having cheese sauce the way Mum makes it and did for my whole childhood. Doesn't mean I don't appreciate my husband's food too. It's kinda odd that you see it as a competition.

DS1 called his grandad Granddad Dinners, because he did a roast whenever we visited, it didn’t mean he didn’t like my cooking. That said I might be offended if DH said his mum’s cooking was better than mine- cause it’s awful 🤣

My mum’s cooking wasn’t good either.

Well, I mean, chopping all those carrots, onions, peppers, courgettes etc. can take a while! Not complicated necessarily, but certainly a right faff!

I can understand why you don't get on with your MIL if your husband paying her the most standard compliment in the book has got you this het up 😅