AIBU to wonder if my parents will regret downsizing now?

[DownsizingNow]

Personally I think no but I’m curious to know what others think after a discussion with some relatives who said that they think that they will.

They’re in their mid 60s and currently in a 3 bedroom detached home with a medium size garden. It’s a new build home but it’s getting to the stage where it’s starting to need maintenance and repairs and some has been done and more will need to be done in future. They’re finding it too much trouble, even trying to get workmen in can be a headache. The stairs are going to become a real issue soon due to injury and they aren’t keen gardeners but the garden takes a lot of maintenance and is going to need the paving changed soon.

So they’ve decided to move to a new build ground floor 2 bedroom flat. They want to futureproof and don’t intend to move again and it’s literally 5 minutes walk from a large supermarket, restaurants, cafes, hairdressers, Doctors and a health centre. There are 4 buses to take them the 20 minutes into the nearest city and a train station 2 minutes away that can have them there in 5 minutes. They’ll only be a few miles away from their current home.

Obviously there’ll be cons of living in flats but overall I think that it’s a good move for them.

I’m curious to know if anyone will think that they’ll regret it and if anyone’s parents have downsized and how they feel about it.

TIA

because they want to?

@Showdogworkingdog yes all it takes is a health crisis and it all goes to pot unfortunately. My dad is extremely independent and stubborn. He's having carers in twice a day which is a huge achievement. Sending hugs x

Oh how I wish my parents were this sensible. They’re late 80s, live in a detached house, nowhere near anything. No shops, buses trains, nothing and have said no to moving. Dad doesn’t drive anymore, mum does but can’t on her own as she forgets the way. She has no intention of stopping driving. OP, what your parents are doing is my dream for my parents.,

Following with interest - dithering about doing the same!

Unfortunately lifts add a huge amount to service charges as they are expensive to maintain and replace.

That sounds exactly what I want.

I wish my parents would consider downsizing from the family home in the next 5 years but they've decided to stay put. I saw my grandparents struggle in their family home, it was too big (house & garden) for them to manage and it eventually became dangerous as it was so unsuitable. They became trapped by it and eventually moved when it became urgent, by which time it was too late for them to settle and adjust. My parents saw this, how difficult it made my grandparents lives and how stressful it was on them and their siblings (ie their children), but now seem set to repeat the pattern. I know it's their decision but I'm frustrated by it.

Physios don't recommend bungalows.

Tell that to most of the population of Ireland, Australia, Canadia etc

Blimey!

When you feel the time is right to do it then it is surely. Moving house is a decision that won't be taken lightly and they've decided to go for it and clearly chosen a perfect place for them. If they do regret it they can always move back to a house with garden, but I highly doubt they will. Xx

Mid-60s is a good time to downsize I think. Still young, moving isn't physically difficult, and you have time to choose a nice location which you know will work for you. Much better than to wait and have the choice forced on you, for any number of reasons. My father and my inlaws both went from "we should move somewhere smaller more manageable, fewer stairs etc" in their 60s to just staying in place after a decade of inertia. My father is really struggling with the stairs now (and I mean it, takes him 20 minutes) and can barely walk, but now does not want to move for many reasons. Biggest one is probably that moving at this point would be an admission of his declining health.

Why would they regret it? My in-laws downsized from a 4 bed bungalow, bigish garden but outside the town, to a 2nd floor, 2 bed retirement flat, 5 mins from the supermarket, library etc. They love it there. It's close enough to everything, that they don't need to drive. Less space to keep clean. Got rid of a lot of stuff they really didn't need/want or use anymore. The building is maintained, no garden to worry about. I know they missed sitting on the patio in the summer, but they like their balcony where they can watch the comings and goings on. They didn't a long time considering the move and where they wanted to be, and just had to wait for a property to come in the market in that area.

PIL downsized and their approach to hosting things like Christmas is to rent a cottage. It is expensive but less expensive overall than maintaining a bigger property and it means we have the right number of bedrooms and share the chores

That is a fantastic idea plus it sounds like less work for them than hosting at home.

I’m surprised at all these grandparents and elderly people still hosting Christmas! It’s a lot of work and I find it tiring at 49. MIL said she was never doing it again the minute I had DS (who is now 16). I definitely won’t be doing it when I’m in my 70s…

From my experience of seeing parents and in-laws they have made a great decision. Future proofing is very sensible and leaves them with much less to worry about.

I am in the process of downsizing (round 2 of yet another chain - but thats another story). I got a mixed reaction as I am doing this at the age of 62 - my children see why I am doing it as 'rattling around' the family house and I saw the consequences of my parents not downsizing - the house not suitable and then not be able to cope with selling - until the surviving partner had to move out the family house. The other reaction I get is - you're too young to downsize. Well nobody knows what around the corner and I dont want to spend my retirement on maintenance of a large house and gardens. Having lived in a village where you need to drive everywhere (limited public transport) and have eyesight issues - bit of a no brainer that needed to live somwhere in walking distance of facilties. In my village which is dominated by fairly large family houses - you basically have to move as you get older as the houses become too difficult to maintain. I remember my late Mother saying a number of years ago I wouldn't be able to live here in retirement - she was right!

My parents downsized and moved location to a place with similar set up, although the moved to a small house rather than a flat. But the location has proved excellent for them. Everything in easy walking distance, a good bus service to the nearest large town (and major hospital) and lots to do on their doorstep.

A flat seems sensible for their style of life so it sounds like a great choice for them know a good location

My parents downsized and moved location to a place with similar set up, although they moved to a small house rather than a flat. But the location has proved excellent for them. Everything in easy walking distance, a good bus service to the nearest large town (and major hospital) and lots to do on their doorstep.

A flat seems sensible for their style of life so it sounds like a great choice for them and a good location. A great decision for them.

Sounds really sensible to me!

We upsized on retirement at 69, because when you're not working and at home a lot more, you need room for hobbies, entertaining, having family to stay. The garden is huge - an acre of gardens and orchards, and I sometimes find it a little much, but easily solved by employing someone a few hours a month to weed and mow. That actually is way cheaper than the cost of selling and moving- think of the EA fees etc - would pay for years of assistance in the garden. The house is perfect for us and nothing would replace its fabulous design and conveniences. Retirement flats are not an option for us, even at 75 and 77.

It sounds perfect for them.

They probably have very happy memories of their earlier years.

We have none of the issues in our 5 flats mentioned by the person you were responding to.

My mums is selling her 3 bedroom house because she has ill health and looking for a 2 bedroom apartment. She definitely wont regret it. It will be less to clean.

It would depend on building itself. I once lived in a downstairs flat and had people constantly sitting right outside of our sitting room window to smoke and chat as it was a communal garden but the noise was a big problem. I could hear literally everything from upstairs. I could hear the man peeing and flushing the toilet, turning on the lights, their microwave and literally every step they took.
Also, would they have a private garden to spend a bit of time in or communal? A lot of retirees like to do a bit of gardening or spend time outside. I wouldn't say how close they are to a supermarket is that important. As long as they have a shop close m and have someone to take them to a supermarket or get an online delivery would be ok.