AIBU to wonder if my parents will regret downsizing now?

[DownsizingNow]

Personally I think no but I’m curious to know what others think after a discussion with some relatives who said that they think that they will.

They’re in their mid 60s and currently in a 3 bedroom detached home with a medium size garden. It’s a new build home but it’s getting to the stage where it’s starting to need maintenance and repairs and some has been done and more will need to be done in future. They’re finding it too much trouble, even trying to get workmen in can be a headache. The stairs are going to become a real issue soon due to injury and they aren’t keen gardeners but the garden takes a lot of maintenance and is going to need the paving changed soon.

So they’ve decided to move to a new build ground floor 2 bedroom flat. They want to futureproof and don’t intend to move again and it’s literally 5 minutes walk from a large supermarket, restaurants, cafes, hairdressers, Doctors and a health centre. There are 4 buses to take them the 20 minutes into the nearest city and a train station 2 minutes away that can have them there in 5 minutes. They’ll only be a few miles away from their current home.

Obviously there’ll be cons of living in flats but overall I think that it’s a good move for them.

I’m curious to know if anyone will think that they’ll regret it and if anyone’s parents have downsized and how they feel about it.

TIA

@DownsizingNow I done this just over a year ago. It's the best thing I have ever done. My flat is tiny, although big enough for me. It certainly stops me buying stuff I don't need. I am also next to lots of amenities. I also took this step to future proof myself. Perhaps more of us should take this step and free up family homes for families.

No thanks. Not a chance I'll be moving to a poky little flat with no garden.

Other options are available 🤣
we’ve downsized to a penthouse, 3 double bedrooms, two large bathrooms, office, very large living/dining/kitchen, a terrace larger than our daughter’s garden on a new build estate and a second. Moving from a 5 bed, detached, we’re loving it.

But for most people a move to that 3 bed penthouse wouldn't be downsizing. If you're in an average 3 bed house, downsizing would likely mean moving to a small flat.

Depends very much where.

Sorry, addressed to @TheLocust

Far, far cheaper where we moved to.

There is a garden. Never say Never.

NB I know two couples who deeply regret their moves and both were to McCarthy and Stone developments.

@MatildaTheCat why is that?

I'm in a 6 bedroom 3 bathroom house and it was really great when all DC were all living at home. Now there's just me and DH in 1 room, and 1 foster child at uni so only home holidays now and another teen foster child, so only 2 bedrooms being used most of the time and 3 occasionally. I'd love to move to a 4 bed house. My DH point blank refuses to move. He likes the big garden and huge double garage he packs full of his tools so no cars fit in it. DS's have offered to come and help us move. They offered to come and help him pack up the garage and garden shed too but DH is too stubborn to move. He says we have years to think of moving but I've tried to tell him we need to move while we are both fit enough to make the move not leave it until we get to old. He doesn't want to leave his garden.

The only problem with most of flats in England and Wales is that they are leasehold. I live near a city so houses are too expensive but I am very happy in my third floor100 sq.m. flat with a terrace and large picture windows overlooking the town. I did a Swedish death clean during covid and I hope future proofed it at the same time.

Similar age to your parents and Just upsized to a large detached from a 4 bed semi. We have room for a stairs lift and will get a cleaner and gardener in when older.

We’re older and have downsized to a flat, possibly a little larger than your DP. Friends thought we’d miss our large, beautiful house but in fact we don’t, and we don’t miss the bills or maintenance either. I do miss the garden, but realistically it’s a small sacrifice .

I agree with this, but ours is share of freehold.

That’s our plan too - lots of other benefits - no need to prep, strip ane launder loads of towels and bedding etc would allow me to have more energy for cheerful hosting.

Also option of us sloping off to a nearby hotel later in the evening and returning after a refreshing lie in to allow our DCs to have the run of our flat and get up early with any future grandchildren.

Unless you are in Scotland, leasehold is a rip off.

We are in Scotland so thankfully that’s one less thing to worry about.

I really doubt they will regret it. Far too many people stay put in huge houses with high maintenance gardens and it all ends in disaster. They tell themselves they’ll downsize ‘later’ but then never do, because it turns out a big house move is even less appealing at 80 than 70.

My in laws are nearly 80 and live in a large extended 3 bed Victorian semi detached house with lots of stairs, a garden, outbuildings and garage. MIL has had both hips replaced and FIL has problems with his legs and a heart issue which means he gets very out of breath walking short distances. Every few years they threaten to downsize, look at alternative flats/bungalows, and get their house valued, only to drop the whole thing the day before it’s due to be listed. Always tenuous reasons, the last time because the estate agent talked too much and they didn’t warn to him 😳

We are absolutely dreading the inevitable calls that they’ve fallen and expect increasing support from us to stay in their house. MIL has dropped hints about me caring for them (not gonna happen - they’ve been very unkind to me over the years).

Your parents are doing you a favour and they sound like they have their heads screwed on

I bet you are pleased. England and Wales are different from the rest of the world. Somehow or other the people who own leaseholds think English/Welsh are not capable of owning freehold. They cream the money off leaseholders, with this outdated method. I think they should be taxed at a higher rate.

I think they'lll regret downsizing to a leasehold property yes. Downsizing is one thing.

Plus 60's is so young! I can't imagine downsizing at that age. Mid 70's onwards maybe.

We’re in Scotland so that it isn’t an issue.

They wanted to do it before health forced it upon them and also they couldn’t be bothered dealing with getting a new kitchen, getting the garden landscaped again and all the other repairs that it’s going to need relatively soon. It isn’t the money that’s the issue. They have that but it’s the stress of it all and trying to get workmen and the upheaval and they’re just tired of the house.

Plus my Father is already struggling with the stairs due to a workplace injury.

They have a gardener but they’re getting little pleasure from the garden and haven’t for years, partly due to new neighbours so they won’t miss it all that much.

I think it’s easy to say ‘oh I’ll get a cleaner and gardener’ when older. But you don’t just need a few hours a week. You’ll need a lot of help with a massive house if you start to have any mobility issues in your 70s. And that costs.

Then you have all the upkeep. The heating costs for a massive house..

Agree OP - finding handymen to actually turn up and do the work is so hard.

Also - moving house is hugely stressful. And exhausting. Not something your really want to do in your mid 70s.

I think it’s better to go a bit early!

I asked my um to once my father passed. She did not want to but I managed to find one in a great location and size. Does it need work - yes need windows and door changes. One set of upstairs neighbours are shockingly bad but the others are lovely. The lack of stairs makes life easier for her, she is next door to me and all the transport links means she has given up her car. She is not happier for it but she admits it’s easier to maintain and get around and that makes the difference

I’ve always preferred to move than get work done, I can relate to that.

Regarding the handyman thing, it’s really worth them trying to find someone they can trust now and using them for off jobs etc. I have a plumber and a handyman I use and if there are any jobs they can’t do I trust their recommendation.

Really good idea. My mum is 70s and the decision making etc around it has become v difficult. Getting where you want be in 60s v wise