AIBU to wonder if my parents will regret downsizing now?

[DownsizingNow]

Personally I think no but I’m curious to know what others think after a discussion with some relatives who said that they think that they will.

They’re in their mid 60s and currently in a 3 bedroom detached home with a medium size garden. It’s a new build home but it’s getting to the stage where it’s starting to need maintenance and repairs and some has been done and more will need to be done in future. They’re finding it too much trouble, even trying to get workmen in can be a headache. The stairs are going to become a real issue soon due to injury and they aren’t keen gardeners but the garden takes a lot of maintenance and is going to need the paving changed soon.

So they’ve decided to move to a new build ground floor 2 bedroom flat. They want to futureproof and don’t intend to move again and it’s literally 5 minutes walk from a large supermarket, restaurants, cafes, hairdressers, Doctors and a health centre. There are 4 buses to take them the 20 minutes into the nearest city and a train station 2 minutes away that can have them there in 5 minutes. They’ll only be a few miles away from their current home.

Obviously there’ll be cons of living in flats but overall I think that it’s a good move for them.

I’m curious to know if anyone will think that they’ll regret it and if anyone’s parents have downsized and how they feel about it.

TIA

I don't know if they'll regret downsizing but you have to think about lot of things through. My parents went from a 3 storey house to a 1 bed 2 reception room bungalow. Seems perfect but:
It only had a bath, and when they recently became too wobbly to use it safely it took a lot of work to change to a shower due to the layout.
The garden had 4 steps leading down to it. Not a problem when they bought it but it's now becoming a concern.
The bedroom is fairly small but OK for them, until we had to call an ambulance recently and the paramedics struggled to get to my dad in the bed and move him safely.
The bungalow is on a quiet square with a bus stop 2 minutes walk away, which seemed ideal for when neither of them could drive. But there is a short but steep slope between their road and the road the bus stop is on, which they now struggle to manage.
They have very good neighbours and I'm sure many people in flats are also good neighbours, but they are more prone to noise travelling between properties. Also, as has been pointed out you need to check for ground rent and any scheduled maintenance costs they could be liable for. My nephew put in an offer on a flat then found out the whole block needed a new roof and other work which he would have a huge bill for as his share of the costs.

If you're going to downsize then mid-60's are a good time to do it before it's too late. But it's still important to have enough things to do and of course any property requires care, attention and maintenance.

There are obviously risks attached to living in a flat due to nearness of neighbours, service charges, etc. but if that's what they want then fair enough. Lack of space may also prove an issue and they may miss their garden?

We kind of downsized in our mid-60's from a period cottage with a huge garden and orchard to a modern four bed detached with a very small garden. We knew exactly what we were looking for and found it - a beautiful village but with good road links/public transport to the nearest city and also near doctors, dentists, hospitals, supermarkets, etc. etc. Our house isn't small but every square inch is utilised - one bedroom for the grandchildren, one for us, one as a dressing room and one as a large hobby room. Also room for cold frames in the garden as gardening is my main hobby.

We've been here over six years now and we don't plan to move again - there's scope for a bedroom downstairs and we've already got plumbing for a downstairs shower if needed. We're still perfectly capable of getting things done at present, and feel it was the right choice for us.

I agree entirely and the lifts should have to be well maintained.

There are lifts in their flats thankfully though they won’t really be making much use of them but I agree that they should always be provided.

We downsized from a 3 bed semi with a big garden to a 2 bed park home with a very small but easier to manage garden.
Storage is limited but I am quite organised and it meant we got rid of a lot of stuff which will eventually make it easier for the kids.
The only downside is we are about 40 minutes from 2 of the kids and an hour away from the other one. Two of them drive but we don't want to be a burden if we can no longer drive. But I suppose that would have been the same if we'd stayed where we were.

I can’t imagine my in-laws downsizing any time soon currently late 60s/early 70s because of the hosting aspect. The DH and his siblings are spread out and theirs is the usual place to congregate for a family weekend. My mum on the other hand enjoys her 2 bed terrace and wouldn’t want any more space, although she didn’t downsize massively when she moved there.

They don’t have a garden as such but they do have a space that’s theirs, that they can sit out in and put some pots out on.

Sounds really sensible to me. I think being near shops, facilities and transport is the #1 important thing for your 'last' home. You want to be within a short walk of as much as possible.

Yeah, being in a small (2-bed) detached amid other similar ones means they're not really family homes so not so much of that!!! I'm glad you've got a nice peaceful flat, and terrace and views sound amazing.

I know my Mum will never downsize. She has a stairlift, lots of facilities on her doorstep (London) and the house is full of memories for her. It's only a 3 bed anyway, and she's lucky in that she can afford a gardener once a month and a cleaner otherwise there would definitely be problems.

Having cleared out my mum's 4 bed after her final years plagued with illness and decreasing mobility I am seriously thinking about downsizing as soon as my DC move away.

They can stay in a my spare room, or Airbnb or a hotel for the christmasses they will be home together (though I don't think dbro and I ever stayed at my mum's more than a couple of christmasses after uni).

My fil is rattling around a 4 bed house and takes 6 holidays a year and can afford the maintenance of his house. He's not adverse to the thought of downsizing but could realistically 'close down' the first floor of his house and live on the ground floor.

The thought of struggling with stairs and an unmanageable garden fills me with dread.

Your DP are doing absolutely the right thing.

We downsized last year from 4 bed/ 3 bathrooms to 3 bed/ 1 bathroom. Weve moved to a more vibrant area of a city...lots of cafes and restaurants within 5 minutes walk and a huge city park 10 minutes walk. Buses every 10 minutes to city centre which take 20 minutes.
We are 66...never moving again.

A block of flats nr us has a lift and as such has many people with disabilities living there. The lift hasn't been working for several weeks (reported in local paper)which has meant many residents are housebound and relying on family and friends for groceries etc.

Yes of course the lifts need maintaining! Not a reason not to have them.

My mum and dad moved from a 4 bedroom detached to a 3 bedroom bungalow at a similar age and I think they were happy with that decision. They both lived there into their 80s so it was certainly a practical future-proof move.

The main downsides were:

Only one bathroom/toilet was a pain when they had family and friends round which they did frequently. My dad, particularly, found that embarrassing when people were having to wait for each other.

Mum lost the ability to go up stairs fairly quickly - the well-known bungalow-legs.

I know somebody who was 10 years older than your parents. Bought a flat and didnt like it. Always rows about repairs and maintenance of the building, she sold it (eventually) and bought a house

MIL downsized to a flat and has been very happy.

I don't think there's any way of saying whether they will or won't regret downsizing, as it depends what they want, and ultimately how they feel. We don't always feel how we expect to. For example they may miss their old home terribly, they may miss the location or the neighbours, and wish they could go back. Or it could be the best and most incredible thing they've ever done. Any decision about moving is always a bit of a gamble as to whether it will turn out to be the right thing to do.

I will never move, although I'm in a small house anyway. I love it here so much, and the thought of being homesick for somewhere I can't go back to is horrible. I wouldn't want to risk it, even if a slightly smaller house would be sensible.

absolutely and possibly leasehold.

Sounds perfect for them and a good move.

I don’t think I’ve heard of anyone regretting downsizing. But on the other hand lots of stories of elderly parents leaving it too late. Then they have mobility issues and are confined to the ground floor of large houses and can’t keep up with the upkeep!!

My parents downsized from a 3 story town house to a duplex apartment. Still has 3 bedrooms but is much smaller with fewer stairs..

I would regret it due to a lack of garden. But if they don't care about the garden it could be ok. It depends about how they use their house - do they like to have people over etc?
I am thinking of downsizing at some point but only to another, smaller house the same as the one I had before children, and it will have to have some kind of garden and 2 spare bedrooms for my children to visit.

Thanks all.

It isn’t a retirement flat. We’re in Scotland so no leasehold.

They are very sociable but they don’t tend to have people to stay often(Besides me and I’m their only child) They usually meet friends in restaurants and cafes or go to the theatre or go on holiday with them rather than host overnight guests.

Good point about bungalow legs too. They like walking and are going to join the local walking group which will hopefully help to keep the bungalow legs at bay.

Lots of excellent points here which have been incredibly helpful so thank you for the advice.

Someone I know has a leasehold flat, and is caught up in a post-Grenfell cladding dispute, which sounds both ruinous and nightmarish.

It slightly depends where all their family members are, my PIL downsized a bit early and no one could stay, so we had to stay in Airbnb’s nearby which was expensive and a hassle with small kids. They missed out a lot on the chaos of breakfasts and bath times, which I think they felt a lot.

I'm early 60s, DH very frail, so once I'm on my own I'll be downsizing to a three bedroom bungalow in a nice village with a 'bus service to an acute hospital six miles away. I regret us buying this house; it's become a millstone around my neck, but DH wouldn't move when he could.

Thought huge windows would mean you need the central heating more!

I had to nag, cajole and outright bully to get my parents to move out of their absolutely unmanagable house. I put a lot of thought and work into making sure where they are now is thoroughly suitable for their needs in terms of size, being completely flat with no steps etc. They were in danger of becoming completely housebound in their old house. They're now so glad they went along with it and agree it was of course the right thing to do. In my mother's usual style however she doesn't think she put up any objections at first. You'd think the whole thing had been her brilliant idea!