AIBU to wonder if my parents will regret downsizing now?

[DownsizingNow]

Personally I think no but I’m curious to know what others think after a discussion with some relatives who said that they think that they will.

They’re in their mid 60s and currently in a 3 bedroom detached home with a medium size garden. It’s a new build home but it’s getting to the stage where it’s starting to need maintenance and repairs and some has been done and more will need to be done in future. They’re finding it too much trouble, even trying to get workmen in can be a headache. The stairs are going to become a real issue soon due to injury and they aren’t keen gardeners but the garden takes a lot of maintenance and is going to need the paving changed soon.

So they’ve decided to move to a new build ground floor 2 bedroom flat. They want to futureproof and don’t intend to move again and it’s literally 5 minutes walk from a large supermarket, restaurants, cafes, hairdressers, Doctors and a health centre. There are 4 buses to take them the 20 minutes into the nearest city and a train station 2 minutes away that can have them there in 5 minutes. They’ll only be a few miles away from their current home.

Obviously there’ll be cons of living in flats but overall I think that it’s a good move for them.

I’m curious to know if anyone will think that they’ll regret it and if anyone’s parents have downsized and how they feel about it.

TIA

Yes that’s a good point

We are in our 50s and are currently dealing with my mum, and my inlaws. Mum lives in a single storey property, she had a knee replacement earlier in the year and despite living alone, manages well.

In laws on the other hand are in a property which is too big for them, they can't manage the garden, there is no downstairs loo. When MIL fell and broke her leg it was a total nightmare trying to get things like stairlifts fitted. They are both 80 and moved into their current property when they were mid-60s, at the time we all urged them to consider a smaller property as they didn't need 4 bedrooms, or something with communal gardens which were not their responsibility. They ignored us and it's come back to bite them.

We are definitely downsizing in 10-15 years from a 3 storey, 4 bed detached into probably a 3 bed flat/bungalow.

Modern, well built flats are very well insulated and there is hardly any noise in my dad’s ground floor flat. His heating bills are also tiny

It depends on the flat. Do they have their own private outside space, even a little one, or is there only a communal garden? It's nice to have somewhere private to sit out and have a few plants.

I expect they've considered the service charge and ground rent, they do vary tremendously from property to property. There are some management companies that are absolute charlatans and others are reasonable.

I hope the walls are fairly sturdy.

I downsized early last year to a two bed flat in an over-60s block. I felt I could not cope with house maintenance after being widowed. I am not sorry to have downsized but very much dislike this flat and the block, I'm planning to move again, hopefully next year, and will take my time to find something that really suits me.

My management fees are currently just under £5k pa. When I showed interest in buying the flat I got the impression it was half that (it is paid half yearly), my fault probably for not studying the small print. The ground rent is reasonable. My biggest problem is that I do not feel as though this is my home; there are regular checks on this and that, fair enough because it's what we residents pay for but I do not need emergency bells and whistles. For all that it is cosy and comfortable so I can take my time about moving. I will not look again at an over-60s complex and would like somewhere a little more urban.

That is me, not your parents. They may have chosen wisely and be very happy in their new flat. At least they won't have to worry about the roof leaking. I wish them well. Before I moved I was friendly with a couple who lived around the corner to me. Their children were long grown and flown. They lived in a ground floor maisonette with all mod cons, a garage en bloc and a lovely but small and manageable garden. The were very, very happy.

The problem with flats is that you are much closer to neighbours and if you get a noisy neighbour -loud music/TV, yapping dog, washing machines etc it can make your life miserable. Plus you might get leaks from above if others don’t maintain their flats, bikes or mobility scooters in the communal area or just other types of ASB. I’ve worked in ASB for my LA so know these things can happen.

what the stairs thing? I used to work alongside physios doing elderly rehab and I never heard any of them say this EVER. "Stay as active as you can," yes but the "don't give up stairs nonsense? absolutely not!

We are planning to sell up the family home to move into zone one / two in central London now that may DCs have finally left. I can’t wait to skip all the clutter they have left behind and start totally afresh with all new furniture for this next chapter of our lives. We won’t be hosting too much as we socialise with friends out at events / theatre / restaurants etc. DCs are all London based so all nearby. We are looking for a top floor apartment with small outside space. We plan on a 2 bed 2 bath and will have sofa beds in lounge for emergencies. And pull outs from under doubles if/when they have DCs and want to stay overnight. It would be unusual for them all to be staying overnight at the same time and for the few days of the year that might happen - I am quite happy to hand over the apartment and myself and DH book into nearby hotel - nipping out at bedtime and back for breakfast. I do want to be able to have 10 around a table though. My DCs have rented various flats in central London so I know that we need a minimum of 80m2 to feel spacious enough for the two of us and the layout will be important. Plan to ditch the cars and walk / cycle as much as we can. Also next year when we are 60 we will get a free tube pass. Might also do house swaps or short term let’s when we travel for a few months of the year - so want it to work clutter free and be easy to pack up and set up for guests. Will be glad to see the back of my huge unmanageable cash draining garden - and I won’t miss it whilst taking my morning stroll through Regents Park.

WHY on earth do you think they'll regret it? Fantastic idea, no maintenance headaches, and handy for activities and transport, so they will be encouraged to have a life outside the house. Excellent decision.

God I’d love it if my parents were this organised and realistic. Instead they are rattling around a big house that is FULL to the brim. They already have three people helping to manage the house and it’s still not under control. When I suggest viewing other places etc they absolutely will not and are adamant they can manage. So much so that one of them cannot do the stairs at the moment following surgery and is sleeping on a sofa bed downstairs. Still - apparently that’s managing just fine, don’t even need a stairlift!! It’s madness and I genuinely think they’re past the point of being capable of moving now. I don’t know what the future looks like but I do know it’s going to be a massive mess. So id be v supportive in your shoes! x

Unfortunately having a pet has become so expensive, constantly rising pet insurance and eye watering vets bills, that owning a pet in later years seems like an impossibility unless you’re on a very good pension. When my beloved dog goes I fear I will never be able to afford another pet companion again.

My parents downsized in their mid 80s which is quite late but they had been good health, travelling a lot and had no reason to move sooner. Eight years on they have both, sadly, died and we have moved into their perfectly future-proofed bungalow. Obviously, we're a lot younger but it's such a lovely property close to village amenities and it made perfect sense. We don't regret it at all.

I don’t think that they’ll regret it. Other relatives said that, not me but it’s been very helpful to hear everyone’s opinions and experiences.

I have lived in a London flat most of my life and we are not 60 yet. I evem raosed DC in a flat ( horror of horrors)
I hate gardening, I go out 3 times a week and don't run a car. I love flat living and hope to never live in a house.

We will be downsizing in a few years.I hope to a house/ bungalow. I would like some outside space. I would not want a flat..unless top floor as would be concerned about noise from flats above. I would not choose to live in a flat even if it was top floor ..never know if lift will be reliable etc

They're going to have a lot of neighbours. It'll really annoy them. Almost certainly.

I hope not though that definitely is a consideration. Although they’re currently in a detached, several more homes have been built around them since they moved in and many have very loud children who are constantly screaming and shouting and kicking balls against fences and the noise is unbearable at times so at least they shouldn’t have too much of that in the new place. Though of course they will have people above them. They’ll have 5 sets of neighbours. Hopefully they’ll get lucky with the 5.

Yes..That's my flat. Not much noise..Heating bills tiny so we can spend money on going out.

I've lived this way for the last 50 years without any problems.

Makes more sense than my in laws’ incomprehensible decision to move to a 7 bedroom house in need of significant maintenance and with a huge garden in their 70s 🤷🏻‍♀️

They could move again if it doesn’t work out; so I’d ensure that they keep any excess funds from the house sale just in case.

I used to work as an estate agent and flats always take forever to sell, and for good reason too. Leasehold issues, neighbour noise, hidden service charges, ground rent. Sorry, but I would never buy a flat, especially not on a new build estate.

I do wish more older people would downsize though, and free up some family sized homes for actual families. They're in such short supply here and prices for that type of property are absolutely through the roof as a result. My parents live on an estate of lovely four/five bedroom detached houses with big gardens and double garages, 90% of which are occupied by the people who originally bought them 40 years ago - who are now in their 70s and 80s and whose children have long moved out. Half of them don't even drive any more, yet have double garages. Why they all need to be rattling around in these huge houses I will never understand.

Same for my DM. She’s moved in with us for now because she can’t manage the stairs or garden at her own house anymore while she decides what’s next but I don’t think she’ll manage with a house move in her current physical and mental state. She’s been talking about moving for years and now it’s suddenly become a crisis this year following heath issues and now her independence is gone.

Why they all need to be rattling around in these huge houses I will never understand.

Because it’s their home that they have lived in for 40 years HTH.

Yes. And as I said I live in a flat.
But don't believe anyone needs to move to free up houses for 'actual families'. What are actual families anyway?

The attitude towards people of sixty plus on this site is revolting, either they are “Hogging” their own house, or according to another thread running, they are “Hoarding” their own money. Apparently anyone over the age of sixty should give their house up to a “family” and also while they are at it hand over all their savings to their 40 plus year old children, the sense of entitlement is utterly gross.