AIBU to wonder if my parents will regret downsizing now?

[DownsizingNow]

Personally I think no but I’m curious to know what others think after a discussion with some relatives who said that they think that they will.

They’re in their mid 60s and currently in a 3 bedroom detached home with a medium size garden. It’s a new build home but it’s getting to the stage where it’s starting to need maintenance and repairs and some has been done and more will need to be done in future. They’re finding it too much trouble, even trying to get workmen in can be a headache. The stairs are going to become a real issue soon due to injury and they aren’t keen gardeners but the garden takes a lot of maintenance and is going to need the paving changed soon.

So they’ve decided to move to a new build ground floor 2 bedroom flat. They want to futureproof and don’t intend to move again and it’s literally 5 minutes walk from a large supermarket, restaurants, cafes, hairdressers, Doctors and a health centre. There are 4 buses to take them the 20 minutes into the nearest city and a train station 2 minutes away that can have them there in 5 minutes. They’ll only be a few miles away from their current home.

Obviously there’ll be cons of living in flats but overall I think that it’s a good move for them.

I’m curious to know if anyone will think that they’ll regret it and if anyone’s parents have downsized and how they feel about it.

TIA

I’ve found this a really helpful thread, thank you OP. I’m 63; I’ve decided to stay put in my 4-bed detached with a big garden until I retire at 67, at which point I’ll get a 2-3 bed freehold detached house with a courtyard garden in the same area (outskirts of decent sized town, all amenities walkable, great buses) and give up my car. DC can host Christmas etc. If I get decrepit I’ll sell and move into a lovely care home, so no inheritance for DC!

I think this just shows how everyone is different

My parents are in the process of downsizing. They have never enjoyed having a garden, they only had one because they felt we needed space to play as children. They are barely at home in retirement - they have lots of hobbies but none involve being at home, they do lots of volunteering, they do a lot of travel. They want a spare room to be able to host a bit but they don't want to cook for a crowd anymore and would rather meet their friends at restaurants.

Depends what the ‘downsizing’ entails. Ours will enable a much more inspiring lifestyle, social and cultural life. We plan to be out and about at galleries, lectures, events etc. in central London. We expect to pay the same or more for the flat than our current large detached house in the Home Counties. I will be delighted to be relieved of the headache and cost of gardens, maintenance etc and look forward to spending the freed up time and money on more travel as the flat would be easy to lock up and leave for a few months at a time.

Yes downsizing can actually free up time, money and energy for many other things like hobbies and travel…

I certainly won’t be keeping a large house with many bedrooms so I can host Christmas when I’m in my 70s. I’m already hating hosting Christmas and I’m 49…..!

By that age many are getting quite weary.

Great idea

I was responding to the person who had been an EA and said they couldn't understand why older people stayed on living in big houses.

I don’t think we’ll personally downsize unless we run out of pension pot BUT, access to most of the back garden aside, we made sure that one or more of us could live on the ground floor if need be when we last did some building work.

If we did move I think we would need to buy adjoining flats as we are so used to having our own space!

There's no way I would downsize to somewhere without private outside space. We previously lived in a flat with communal gardens and I hated it. To be fair it's not something I'll ever have to worry about as we still live in a flat but at least we have our own private garden.

A lot of people clearly feel this way but plenty of people don't. I really couldn't care less about having private outside space. I don't do anything in the garden that requires total privacy and I hate gardening so a park or communal garden suits me very well

I’d absolutely love a balcony, I think I’d use it more than a garden.

Yes. I have a park near me and that suffices.
I never want a garden and would much rather be near theatre, art galleries, museums and other fun stuff.

They probably won't regret downsizing, but they will very likely regret buying a flat, especially a ground floor one. Noise either side, and above, ground rent, very likely leasehold. I wouldn't go for a flat in a million years. A bungalow would be much better.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat · Today 18:12

There's no way I would downsize to somewhere without private outside space. We previously lived in a flat with communal gardens and I hated it. To be fair it's not something I'll ever have to worry about as we still live in a flat but at least we have our own private garden.

This. ^ Our (fairly large corner plot) garden is the only thing that kept me sane during the covid lockdowns. Well, that and the beautiful weather we had. I know it sounds princessey, but I could never be without my own private garden. I could never have a communal one.

Had a communal once, (DH and I) when we were in our early 20s, had no DC, and worked full time, and I hated it. No privacy, not able to plant flowers or anything as it was 'forbidden,' 🙄and there was always someone hanging around, and someone's dog on the loose, so no sunbathing or relaxing. We even had to put the washing out on the communal washing lines! Never again. Gardening/the garden is one my passions, and I spend most of the summer in it every year, and I would struggle without one.

.

Our "downsize" flat has a lovely balcony. I've always fancied one and this faces SE so we have morning sun for breakfast and enough light for a variety of plants including small fruit trees. We don't have midday sun streaming in to overheat our flat in the summer either.

In theory a bungalow is great and I know that many people love them, but you do have more maintenance. You may have more garden than you want or need - also there are simply no bungalows at all in many urban areas such as ours.

We have a first/second floor "share of freehold" maisonette in a building with just three floors and have no problems with noise at all. It is very important to make sure that the management company have tight rules on noise and nuisance.

You've not mentioned the factor / property management fees - these can be surprisingly high in flats (think £100 to change a lightbulb) and maintaining lifts, cleaning stairwells etc is expensive. I'd want to see at least a year's previous bills and have something in writing about planned repairs and expected maintenance.

If you let us know which development they're thinking of, people can give better advice. E.g. the new Dargavel or built by Cala, etc. (look at the Facebook group for the builder or development too).

You’re right. The bungalows here tend to be very large and are just too much house and garden for them. They want something easy to maintain. Unfortunately the small bungalows with courtyard style gardens are rare here. Most have large gardens. There’s only a few that I can think of and they could wait forever for one. It’s a pity that so few developers seem to think of building smaller bungalows for elderly people.

Service charges are the obvious problem, as they may eat into possible inheritances. It's their money and they can do what they like with it, I'm certainly keeping my heating on and not worrying about what money is left for others. There is also the point that as you get older, convenient access to public transport, shops and the doctor becomes more important.

I wish those type of houses existed where I live, you are more likely to find a unicorn running down the high street than a 2 or 3 bed detached house with a courtyard garden which is walkable to town. Where I live the town properties are all terraces or flats.

Yes that’s another thing to consider, we like our own space the thought of not having that and being joined at the hip in a small house or apartment 24/7 for the next 20 or so years does not appeal.

My mother talked about downsizing for years but never moved. She wanted a small property with a courtyard garden and, though she saw a few, never found what she wanted. One of her main requirements was that she wanted space to hang her washing out to dry.
She managed where she was because, though she was on her own, she had a gardener, cleaner and reliable maintenance people. She did worry about getting very old there and had decided which care home she wanted to move to ("when the time came") there but sadly died before she was 90.

Downsizing can mean less activity, not a good idea. We have a big house, there is a hobbies room and workshop and a quarter of an acre where we can saw up logs and chop the wood. We are 78 and 75. I had to get scaffolding put up four years ago to enable me to rebuild the chimney. All the jobs I need to do keeps me going.

We’ve been far more active since moving a couple of months ago than we have in years. Theatre and cinema are walkable even for my disabled husband, no parking issues, went for the fifth time on Saturday. Surrounded by shops, I walk when I need anything and we’re getting out and about exploring our new place because we have more spare cash. That facilitates lunches out, too. I walk, my husband is restricted so we’ll be getting an off road mobility scooter. He’ll get more fresh air now than he ever has. He’s at the gym across the road early morning, week days, for weights.
So far, all positive.

We are all different and people can choose how to incorporate whatever type of activity into their daily life that suits their individual preferences to keep them fit and active. Doing DIY and garden maintenance is my idea of hellish chores but can appreciate that others find it satisfying.

I will be getting my fitness in by joining running groups in Hyde Park and swimming outdoors in the rooftop pool in Covent Garden or The Serpentine as well as my evening strolls to theatres, events, etc.