AIBU to wonder if my parents will regret downsizing now?

[DownsizingNow]

Personally I think no but I’m curious to know what others think after a discussion with some relatives who said that they think that they will.

They’re in their mid 60s and currently in a 3 bedroom detached home with a medium size garden. It’s a new build home but it’s getting to the stage where it’s starting to need maintenance and repairs and some has been done and more will need to be done in future. They’re finding it too much trouble, even trying to get workmen in can be a headache. The stairs are going to become a real issue soon due to injury and they aren’t keen gardeners but the garden takes a lot of maintenance and is going to need the paving changed soon.

So they’ve decided to move to a new build ground floor 2 bedroom flat. They want to futureproof and don’t intend to move again and it’s literally 5 minutes walk from a large supermarket, restaurants, cafes, hairdressers, Doctors and a health centre. There are 4 buses to take them the 20 minutes into the nearest city and a train station 2 minutes away that can have them there in 5 minutes. They’ll only be a few miles away from their current home.

Obviously there’ll be cons of living in flats but overall I think that it’s a good move for them.

I’m curious to know if anyone will think that they’ll regret it and if anyone’s parents have downsized and how they feel about it.

TIA

I think mine still think of the family home as 'home'.

Especially given that half their crap is here, and we are occasionally used as a post box.

I'm about to put out a family WhatsApp about Thanksgiving and where should it be. Pound to a penny, it will be at our house.

If one pension can pay annual increasing bills in general and service charges in particular then great. However on one pension (if it happens to one of them) then life could get tough. Then savings would be needed ......and chewed through. Costs of selling and buying elsewhere also needs to be considered. So for that reason i would sadly never buy a flat.

Lifts massively increase the service charge

Stop with the nitpicking. You're wrong anyway, even 20 years after moving out I still called my parents' house "home".

I’m deeply envious. It sounds wonderful.

I also see through my work how people leave it until they really can't manage their property anymore, disasters happen and they are then forced to move - quite often this has been a dragged out process that has put a lot of burden on their family to pick up the slack meanwhile. It's much, much easier to do at a slightly younger age. Those who wait until they are so frail they need a lot of help to do it really struggle, with the emotional as well as practical side of things and tend to be very resentful about the process.

My mother downsized to a totally unsuitable place, but shes a lot happier with the grounds being maintained, no maintenance works to sort and no stairs.
Mother rejected all the suitable places as she didn't want a block with a lift or risk noisy neighbours in town. But shes totally deaf without her hearing aids, so night time noise wouldn't bother her, in fact shes the noisy one with her TV up so loud! And not being in town means transport is difficult and there is no where for visitors to stay, so there are some issues.

Who'd have thought that Perth was the epicentre of French restaurants?

We had a lovely lunch at Pig Halle, back in the day.

Same here. OH never goes out anyway. I want to move to a better location even if it's not a smaller house. It's not a decision that can be made without both being on board though.

My mum has downsized. Housing wise she bloody loves it.

Her only issue is lack of control on the service charge and how its spent. Its gone uo by more than inflation. And she is a competent clever lady so it frustrates her if they paint the hallways on a 3 year schedule but she thinks it should be 4, or if the firedoor replacement contract us badly negotiated.

I think if they are fining the house a burden they are wise to downsize now, before moving itself is too much of an upheaval to contemplate.

There are potential downsides but if they are careful most of these can be mitigated.

One is whether they will miss having the ability to have family stay or host. This will depend on what facilities, other family members have, how close they are, and whether there are options for family to stay reasonably nearby.

They might miss the outdoor space, if so are there nearby parks or small allotment options? Community gardens?

I think the biggest risk with a move like this is finding you are close to bad neighbours. There is not much to be done if that happens.

My mum recently did (happily divorced). Mid 60s as well and never wants to move again. She moved from a small town to the capital, closer to my brothers (they all live abroad in Europe), closer to the airport for visits to the UK or for us to go over, close to everything she needs and she is loving life! It's been such a joy to see!

Both of mine still say they are "coming home" when they plan to visit. Maybe it's a Northern thing?

No, double glazed and we’re considering triple glazing when we replace them in the spring. It’s surprisingly sunny here (central Scotland) and we get full sun through the floor to ceiling windows in the living space and master bedroom all day, sunset at the back. Cloudy here today, still 19 indoors.

Sounds like physios live in cloud cuckoo land.

Cons: noise from neighbours. That would be enough to put me off completely. Don’t begrudge them the downsize and it sounds like the location is great but you couldn’t pay me to live in communal living ever again.

Eventually my mum wouldn't have be safe getting up the stairs. She only had an upstairs bathroom and no downstairs toilet. I will definitely will be looking to downsize to a bungalow on the next move. I am in my 60s

Here since early September, we still pinch ourselves most days 😊

That's a very simplistic view. Falls down stairs are a frequent cause of hospital admission and all the attendant complications among the elderly.

Sounds great! As the DD of older parents now struggling health wise in their 4 bed house, I wish they’d downsized earlier - would have been more manageable in many ways, however they have very good neighbours and they’d have missed them.

We have 2 guest rooms in our flat.

My in-laws downsized to a 2 bad bungalow in their 60s and haven't regretted it. Being a bit nitpicky, it's a squash and a squeeze when all the grandchildren visit, but no point having an extra room that is hardly ever used. They are two hours away though, so there may need to be a rethink if they reach extreme old age.

We would have certainly considered a bungalow but they were usually more expensive.

Yes, and the other advantage to moving earlier is that you get to know the new community while you are still active.

There are two sisters in their 60s who recently moved to the town i work in, I know them through community events. They moved to a new kind of living situation, in a totally differernt part of the country. They are getting really involved in all kinds of things, the seniors club, library programming, and making a lot of friends and contacts.

What this means is that when they slow down, they won't be old, and stuck at home, in a new community where they don't know the people or what is around. This happened to my dh's grandmother - she moved at well over 80 to live near my MIL, in a completely differernt part of the country. She was frail and more or less stayed in her seniors complex for the next few years until she died. She never got to know anyone well, or enjoy the things that she had before like the theatre, because she didn't have the energy for exploring or trying new things.

Parents downsized and regretted it every day since. Especially the lack of their own outside space; having so many other people on top of them; and being very central and thus further from nature. They would do it in two stages if they had a second chance.