MIL not sleeping over our house being too cold

[lilseb]

We have a 5mo baby. We've just moved into our property which has an EPC C and insulated/double glazing, but since the weather's turned cold we've found our bedroom is far too cold, unsure why and we want to get a specialist in. We are a bit sparse with heating but we put it on morning and evening to heat house up to 16c, we top up in the day if its especially cold and use heaters/fireplace in certain rooms we use more so they're warmer than the 16c (including said bedroom but this was not effective). The rest of the house is fine except this one room. Me and baby are now sleeping in spare room which is much warmer. Baby is in recommended vest sleepsuit and 2.5-3.5 tog sleeping bag for the weather.

MIL is convinced the issue is we don't put the heating on enough and having arguments with my husband about it. She's said its not good enough that we're using our dyson for heating or that me and baby have switched room and we need to have the heating on more, and she thinks 16c is too cold. She has told me and my husband separately that she is so worried about our house she's not sleeping, citing worries for my husband's asthma and our child's health. The latter has upset me because I'm trying to follow the recommended advice for temperature and I wouldn't risk my child's welfare. Husband says I'm being over sensitive, and I know she probably doesn't mean to imply it, but I do think she should be thinking through what she says.

Husband is a tightarse and I frequently ignore his moaning and switch heating on anyway - however we both feel that the issue with the bedroom is not the heating, and that we think 16c is a reasonable temperature that will keep us healthy and should keep house in good condition. I don't know if I get especially warm but I woke up last night feeling too hot and room temperature was 17c. My husband similarly is ok with cooler temperatures.

My view is its our house and our baby and MIL has said her piece so now needs to reign it in. AIBU? I know she's grandmother and I can't stop her worrying but we're already navigating a new house and new baby and could do without her rattling me. I had a conversation with her earlier which was pleasant and constructive enough and I'm hoping will nip some of this in the bud, but I don't know whether to be tougher if there's a next time.

16c is quite cool. I don't think it's a comfortable temp for a lot of people and may not be warm enough to keep your home damp free, particularly if there's limited ventilation.

I think 16 is considered cold and 18 is seen as comfortable - maybe wrong but I would find 16 cold and preference would be around 21 but everyone is different

16 degrees?
Are you serious?
Mine is on at 24 most of the time, and boosted to 30 occasionally for short bursts.

16 degrees is freezing. You’re being ridiculously tight. Put the heating on.

When I was a kid, we would wake in the morning to find frost in the inside of the window panes.
My parents used paraffin heaters and a gas fire in the sitting room to keep the house warm!
We grew up healthy. So long as baby is warmly wrapped & regularly checked, your little family will be fine.
Tell MIL to “but out” !!

Actually, this!

You might as well not put it on at all.
🤣

16 degrees is in the lower end of comfortable and is within the range of too cold for some people.

However if you're heating the rooms the baby is using with added heaters then it should be fine. I live in a bloody freezing stone house that had the fire removed (renting so can't reinstate) and this kind of 1800s solid stone house really really needs a fire at its heart to warm the stones and air gaps. It's been a challenge to keep it warm enough for our baby and now toddler and cost us a small fortune to heat as its gas tank, and my mum also find it freezing cold when she visits but with heaters in the rooms we use it's fine. We do try and keep the kiddos room at 20 degrees though as it's a good comfort level so have the radiators come on twice at night for short bursts in autumn and winter.

If your little one doesn't have cold hands and feet and is sleeping well though sounds fine. Older visitors like your mum just need a warm fleece hoodie and slippers!

It’s too cold, your MIL is right.

16 degrees? Bloody hell - we 'run hot' and even we keep our house at 18 degrees for comfort for ourselves, closer to 20-22 for guests, especially older people.

That's too cold, especially at this time of year when it tends to be damp as well as cold.

I just googled and it says a home with a new baby in should be between 16-20 degrees. You are right at the bottom of that scale. I can see why your MIL has concerns, I'm sure she's just trying to help.

You are at the opposite end of the ridiculous scale tbh. You heat your house to 30 degrees??

16 is cold. Minimum 18 is more normal.

At 16 degrees, I would be freezing! I hope you and your LO wrap up warm.

much too cold. Well done MIL for speaking out.

It’s too cold. Our house is usually 20 minimum. I wouldn’t be visiting yours for even a daytime trip October to April!!

Blimey I wouldn’t visit if your house was 16 degrees. Yikes, that’s so cold! Won’t harm the baby but not v comfortable for most people.

We came back from holiday the other day and the thermostat said 16. The house felt cold, even the carpets. I’d be miserable living like that.

You don’t need to get a specialist in - just turn the bloody heating up! It’s not 1960 and you have to manage with one open fire. Why suffer? Your MIL on this occasion is right.

It’s insane you don’t just simply turn the heating up

I believe the recommended indoor temperature for this time of year is between 18-20 degrees. And the WHO say it should be 20 degrees for the young / old / infirm. So 16 degrees sounds a little on the chilly side.

16-18 degrees should be fine for adults at nighttime when our bodies get better rest if it’s a bit cooler. But babies need more warmth,

Sorry I'm with the MIL on this one.

Yes it’s your house.
However, you don’t have to be ‘tougher’ with MIL as she is right to raise her concerns.
You have acknowledged she is, and said you are ‘sparse’ with the heating and your husband is a ‘tightarse’. You know that it’s too cold in the house, and it’s is well below the temp advised for small babies who cannot regulate their temperature as well as an adult.
I think you are trying to convince yourself it’s ok and blaming your MIL for your DHs controlling behaviour around heating!

I once stated at my best friend's house. .. freezing! I never stayed again.
Good thinking if you don't like your MIL and wish I had done a cold house as it would have saved me many stays with her.

Not good for a baby though

16C is cold to live in. If it were that temp outside then I’d be wearing a coat (I don’t like the cold though). I suppose people used to live in houses much colder and survived so I’m sure it’s fine health-wise, but it can’t exactly be comfortable.

I would be very uncomfortable in a house kept at 16 degrees. I would certainly be very reluctant to stay with anyone who kept their house that cold.

My home is kept at 20 degrees when I'm in, with the heating off overnight (the house is well insulated). I'm careful in general with my budget, but being comfortably warm in my own home is a basic need, imo.

I'm not surprised that your mum is concerned about your child in that environment.