MIL not sleeping over our house being too cold

[lilseb]

We have a 5mo baby. We've just moved into our property which has an EPC C and insulated/double glazing, but since the weather's turned cold we've found our bedroom is far too cold, unsure why and we want to get a specialist in. We are a bit sparse with heating but we put it on morning and evening to heat house up to 16c, we top up in the day if its especially cold and use heaters/fireplace in certain rooms we use more so they're warmer than the 16c (including said bedroom but this was not effective). The rest of the house is fine except this one room. Me and baby are now sleeping in spare room which is much warmer. Baby is in recommended vest sleepsuit and 2.5-3.5 tog sleeping bag for the weather.

MIL is convinced the issue is we don't put the heating on enough and having arguments with my husband about it. She's said its not good enough that we're using our dyson for heating or that me and baby have switched room and we need to have the heating on more, and she thinks 16c is too cold. She has told me and my husband separately that she is so worried about our house she's not sleeping, citing worries for my husband's asthma and our child's health. The latter has upset me because I'm trying to follow the recommended advice for temperature and I wouldn't risk my child's welfare. Husband says I'm being over sensitive, and I know she probably doesn't mean to imply it, but I do think she should be thinking through what she says.

Husband is a tightarse and I frequently ignore his moaning and switch heating on anyway - however we both feel that the issue with the bedroom is not the heating, and that we think 16c is a reasonable temperature that will keep us healthy and should keep house in good condition. I don't know if I get especially warm but I woke up last night feeling too hot and room temperature was 17c. My husband similarly is ok with cooler temperatures.

My view is its our house and our baby and MIL has said her piece so now needs to reign it in. AIBU? I know she's grandmother and I can't stop her worrying but we're already navigating a new house and new baby and could do without her rattling me. I had a conversation with her earlier which was pleasant and constructive enough and I'm hoping will nip some of this in the bud, but I don't know whether to be tougher if there's a next time.

The recommended sleeping temperature of a room for a baby is 20-22 degrees. You are being massively unreasonable as babies cannot regulate their body temperature and you are causing your baby to be unreasonable cold which is very unhealthy. Your child cannot speak for themselves to tell you they are cold. Stop being tight and turn on the heat.

Ours is on at 22.

I wouldn’t be visiting yours.

you do realise that gas central heating is a lot cheaper than using an electric heater??

and yes, 16 degrees is too cold. Just turning it it up to 18 will make a big difference.

I wouldn’t want to visit your house either. 16C is cold. And not good for a baby.

I would've thought 18 minimum with a couple of hours of 20 here and there.
What does 16 actually do?
That's so cold, the very air is too cold at 16, 18 is the very minimum.

That’s really too cold especially during the day OP. You don’t want to keep him bundled up doing tummy time and crawling on the floor. It will be even colder on the floor…

Going against the grain here. We use Groeggs to monitor the temperature, anything below 16 the egg would be blue indicating too cold, 16-20 the egg would be orange which is ideal, above 20 the egg would be red indicating it’s too hot! My bedroom is currently 17 degrees and I can confirm my newborn is fine she hasn’t turned into a block of ice.

The Lullaby Trust recommends room temperature for babies is 16-20°C so that they don’t get too hot. Not sure where previous posters are getting 22 degrees from! I accidentally let our toddlers room reach 22 degrees the other day when the weather was milder and she woke up drenched in sweat!

As long as you’re dressing your child in the appropriate layers and sleeping bag tog for the temperature they will be fine, and in the daytime they can just wear a jumper. People who heat their houses to 30 degrees must be walking round in their underwear!

19-21 C is what heating engineers use as a “comfortable” temperature to design heating systems to. If your thermostat is running at 16 C, that’s not what your system has been designed for.

Comfortable healthy indoor environments for children and babies are warm with a constant supply of fresh air. So your windows should have trickle vents that should be open year round to refresh the air and stop it getting stale too (in addition to upping your thermostat).

16 is freezing. Im cold when mine is 19.

Way too cold for your baby too. I'd not have it lower than 18.

For a five month old baby I'd probably have it a bit warmer. We've always lived in old houses that don't retain heat though and I do remember when we had to keep the heating on 24/7 for 2 or 3 weeks during a cold snap with a young baby to achieve this!
Now I like a cold bedroom, I can't sleep if I'm even a little bit too hot. I sleep with the windows open all year round and don't like any stuffiness. Other peoples houses are usually far too hot for me!

I’ve said 19 C - 21 C for the daytime but the evening can be cooler. We don’t have our heating on at all at night and sleep with the windows slightly open for lots of fresh air. It’s the 16 C daytime thermostat that’s miserly.

I'm with MIL. Our overnight temperature is set to 17 (no babies in our house), daytime 19-20 (21 if really cold outside as it needs the boost). 16 during the day is cold.

16 is really cold in my opinion.

Your MIL is right, put the heating on.

18 is too cold, way way too cold.

Cannot imagine deliberately heating my house to 20°c let alone higher. It feels stuffy & the kids (teens) complain too. Currently 18 in the living room with no heating on or set to come on. 18yo was sat in here earlier with his shirt off watching TV 🤷🏼‍♀️.

That said! It's just how we are, not tightness or anything. We'd all just rather cooler air & snuggly blankets.

OP - your set up sounds fine but I also don't blame MIL, necessarily, cos her comfort levels are obviously different & she's just worried about her grandchild. As is often the case, here especially, ppl are incapable of understanding that everyone is different.

(also - lot of ppl need to check their attitudes & their privilege at running houses at a minimum of 20°c & declaring any house less than that to be uninhabitable. Get a grip)

That’s fucking freezing!! At that temp, my nose is constantly dripping and I’m in a coat. And not visiting you again. Where are you reading you’re supposed to have a baby in a room that cold? It’s not going to kill them
obviously if they are in layers but that’s bloody miserable.

Absolutely…a dehumidifier is reasonably inexpensive to run and the difference it makes in heating the room as well as drawing off moisture (obviously) is incredible. I have one downstairs and one upstairs and wouldn’t be without them.
Just to add, I’m in Scotland and it can get really cold from Nov through to March.
My heating is on at 24 during the day at 18 at night and I still have to switch on the living flame gas fire in the late evenings.

That's still absolutely boiling.

I like a cool house, I have it at 18 for a few hours morning and evening and 16.5 in the rest of the day, off midnight till 7 am. But when I have visitors I put it up to 19 because I know other people like it warmer. My bedroom is about 15 at the moment which is perfect.

But if I had a small baby I'd keep the house at at least 18 or 19 all day long, 16 is too cool.

You get a grip.

People can have their heating however they want. It’s up to them not you.

16-20 is recommended by pretty much everywhere
at 16c I’m in a t shirt outside and comfortable inside, I don’t think I’ve ever had my heating above 18c

Why would you argue against your mil if you have to argue with dh over turning the heating on? And why is it going on that low? Would you not go 17 or 18?

I think you need to out the heating up a couple of degrees. You seem very concerned about overheating but in huge parts of the world, babies are fine in places when 20 degrees would be a midwinter night. My 3 babies were fine through summers where there were several weeks of temperatures not dropping below 30 degrees at night, and 40 degrees in the day.

Well...yes that's what I was saying?

I would get a second thermometer to check the heat

Thermostats can be out..

I would go for mid range in winter - it suggests that you add extra layers to stay warm.